好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E16
Part 1
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:58 p.m.
Morning, Charlie.
早安 查理
Charlie.
查理
Good, I don't have to give him mouth-to-mouth.
很好 我不用对他做人工呼吸
Morning.
早安
He sleeping?
他在睡觉?
Sure, let's call it sleep.
当然 就当他是在睡吧
Uncle Charlie, I'm gonna have a bowl of Maple Loops.
查理叔叔 我要泡一碗麦片
You want one?
你要吗?
You sure he's okay?
你确定他没事?
I never said he was okay.
我没有说他没事
Freaky.
真诡异
You really shouldn't see him like this, Jake.
你真的不该看到他这样 杰克
There. Now you can enjoy your breakfast.
可以了 现在你可以享用早餐
What's wrong with him?
他怎么了?
Oh, he's getting old, kiddo.
哦 他变老了 老兄
I wish you could've seen him in his prime.
我希望你们已经看过他的全盛时期了
He was like Babe Ruth.
他就像贝比鲁斯
He played baseball?
他打棒球?
No, he was a drunken whore-monger.
不是 他是酒醉的嫖♥客♥
But there was none better.
不过两个半斤八两
Oh, God, look what the cat dragged in.
天啊 看那只醉猫拖了什么东西进来
He didn't just drag it, he ate it, pooped it out
他不只拖进来 还吃了他并拉出来
and then covered it with sand.
最后还用沙子埋起来
You know what'd be funny?
你知道怎样会很好玩吗?
To paint a big mustache on him.
在他脸上画胡子
That would be hilarious...
那真的会很可笑
but no.
但是不行
Charlie?
查理?
Charlie?
查理?
Yeah?
怎样?
You okay?
你还好吗?
Yeah.
还好
What time did you get home?
你几点回到家的?
I'm home?
我在家?
You are.
是的
Oh, God, I'm blind.
天啊 我瞎了
It's a miracle.
这是奇迹
Okaysee you tomorrow.
好 明天见
Good night, Berta.
晚安 柏坦
Hey.
嗨
Look who's finally up.
看看是谁终于起床了
How'd you sleep?
睡的如何?
Okay, I guess.
还不错啊 我想
Good, I'm glad.
很好 我很高兴
Oh, Tater Tots.
哇 马铃薯球
Help yourself.
你自己去做
Jake, I said no.
杰克 我有说不行
I didn't dot.
不是我♥干♥的
He didn't.
不是他
What are you staring at?
你在看什么?
Nothing, se?r.
没什么
So, uh, how are you feeling?
那么 你现在觉得如何?
Depends.
看情况
What day is it?
今天星期几?
Saturday.
星期六
Oh.
哦
Well, in that case I feel great.
嗯 这样的话我觉得不错
Why "in that case"?
什么 "这样的话" ?
If it was Thursday, I'd be a little worried.
如果是星期四 那我就会有点担心了
I don't know, Charlie, you've been pushing it pretty hard lately.
我不知道 查理 你最近的情况非常糟糕
What do you mean?
什么意思?
I mean you're not a kid anymore.
意思是你已经不是小孩子了
Oh, please.
哦 拜托
I'm in the best shape of my life.
我现在正处于我生命中的颠峰期
Now, that doesn't belong inside of me.
这不是属于我身体里面的东西
It takes a lot to gross me out, but wow.
想让我恶心到吐需要花点时间 不过 哇...
Hey, get your stuff together. I'm going to bring you back to your mom's.
嘿 顺便把你的东西带着 我要带你去你妈那里
Let me tell you something, Alan.
我告诉你吧 艾伦
You're only as young as the women you feel.
你的年纪 就跟你看上的女人差不多
And lately, I've been feeling about 24.
而我最近 搞到一个24岁的
Twenty-four?
24岁?
Yep, and she doesn't think I'm old.
是的 而且她不认为我老了
She thinks I'm cute and fun.
她认为我可爱又风趣
And rich.
又有钱
Yeah, the rich helps.
没错 有钱帮了我大忙
I'm not that cute.
因为我没那么可爱
Okay, fine.
好吧
I understand the allure, the nectar of the young berry.
我明白 年轻女子的琼浆玉液很诱人
But I also know what happens when you burn a candle at both ends.
但我也知道蜡烛两头烧 会有什么结果
How would you know that?
你怎么知道?
Did you take a candle-making class at the Learning Annex?
你跑去Learning Annex上蜡烛制♥作♥班吗? (北美最大再教育机构)
Hey, I have done my share of walking on the wild side.
我完成了"漫步在野地"自己的部份 (5公里 圣地亚哥动物园 1年办1次)
The wild side?
野地?
Okay, the rambunctious side.
好啦 是喧闹区
My point is there comes a time in a man's life
我的重点是男人的生命 到了这个阶段
when he has to start accepting his limitations.
就是他该有所节制的时候
Yeah, well, my point is the day you start accepting limitations
那么 我的重点是 当你开始这样做的时候
is the day you start dying.
就是你准备要面对死亡了
And I'm not dying, my friend;
而我还没有死啊 老兄
I am living life to the fullest.
我正处于生命的颠峰期
Now, if you'll excuse me,
现在 先失陪一下
I'm gonna go throw up and take a nap.
我要去呕吐并小睡一下了
That was fun!
真是愉快
Yeah.
是啊
How long until you're ready to go again?
你什么时候可以再来一次?
You mean tonight?
你是指今晚吗?
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
啊 对唷 我忘了
You're old.
你老了
Hey, hey, hey, I'm not old.
喂 我不是老了
I'm just not a... yogurt dispenser.
只是你不能把我当成... 酸奶制♥造♥机
You're almost as olds my dad.
你几乎快跟我爸一样老了
All right, listen, if you're looking to go again,
好吧 听着 如果你想再来一次
that's not the way get there.
这样讲可能没什么帮助
Aw, did I hurt your feelings?
哦 我伤了你的心吗?
No, no, you didn't hurt my feelings.
不 不 你没有伤我的心
It's just, you know, there are certain
只是 你知道 有一些...
biological factors you have to take into account...
生物学上的因素 是你必须考虑进去的...
Yeah, my dad takes Viagra.
是啊 我爸会吃壮♥阳♥药♥
Good for him.
了不起
All I'm saying is
我要说的是
we could do something else for a while
我们可以先做些别的事
and then come back to this.
然后再回来做♥爱♥
Great, let's go to a club.
太好了 那我们去夜店
Now?
现在?
It's 11:00.
现在晚上11点了
So we'll get there early.
所以我们会提早到
Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of
事实上 我想的是比较接近像...
making some toaster pizzas and watching The Daily Show.
弄些烤PIZZA饼 然后看The Daily Show. (谈话性节目)
Oh.
哦
What?
怎了?
I'm bored.
我好无聊
If we're not gonna have sex, I nt to go out.
如果我们不继续做♥爱♥ 那我想出去
Okay, tell you what, why don't you go out
好 这样吧 不然你就一个人出去
and, you know, boogie-oogie-oogie,
然后 你知道 去跳个舞
and when you come back, wake me up and we'll have sex.
等你回来后 叫醒我 我们再做♥爱♥
That's a lame idea, Charlie.
这个点子很烂 查理.
Okay, you can skip the waking me up part.
好 不然就省略"叫醒我"那个部份
I'm just gonna go call some friends.
我要打电♥话♥找我朋友
No, no, wait, wait.
不 不 等一下
Come here, come he.
过来 过来
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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