好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E10
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:57 p.m.
after P.E. And pudding pops.
在体育课和布丁爆出来后
Good point.
说得好
What are you doing?
你在干吗?
Pouring a glass of vodka.
倒一杯伏特加酒
Is that part of doing the laundry?
那是洗衣服的的工序之一?
Because I could really get into this.
因此我也应该参与
No, I'm just mad at myself.
不 我只是生自己的气
Well, in that case, pour me one.
如果那样的话 也给我来一杯
I'm mad at you too.
我也在生你的气
So, what's the problem?
出了什么事?
I went over to Kandi's again.
我又去找了康迪
And how did that go?
结果呢?
Not only are we not selling the condo
不仅我们不会卖♥♥掉公♥寓♥
I may have promised to buy her a new fridge.
可能还答应买♥♥台新冰箱给她
Alan. She likes getting ice
哦 艾伦.
without having to open the door.
她喜欢不出门就能得到冰块
You poor whipped sap.
你这个愚蠢的家伙
Me? What about you?
我?那你呢?
What about me?
我怎么了?
Charlie, you're doing a womars laundry.
查理 你在为女人洗衣服啊
No.
不 不 不 明白吗
That's just me trying to pitch in.
我正在劳动实践
Face it. Lydia's got you wrapped
面对现实吧 莉迪亚只需要动动小手指
around her little finger.
就能把你指挥得团团转
She does not.
她没用小手指
She uses this one.
用的是这个手指
And it's not so much wrapped as skewered.
它在串起来时比较好用
Who's using my washing machine?
谁在用我的洗衣机?
Excuse me, but it's my washing machine
不好意思 那是我的洗衣机
and I'm using it to wash Lydia's clothes.
我正用它来洗莉迪亚的衣服
You're doing laundry?
你在洗衣服?
Hey, it's not rocket science.
嘿 这又不是开火箭
Cold wash, cold rinse, gentle cycle.
冷水洗 冷水漂 温和洗衣程序
But first, you separate the delicates.
首先 你要把衣服分类
Is that so?
是那样么?
Yeah, that's so.
当然
That's probably them now.
可能已经洗好了
Hello?
你好
Oh, hey, Mom.
哦 你好 妈妈
I thought you were my washing machine.
我以为是洗衣机打来的
Oh, come on,
上啊 传球啊
throw the ball, throw the ball.
把球扔出去
Or fall down.
或着...摔到
Charlie, I'm leaving.
查理 我要走了
Bye.
再见
I'd like a kiss.
不亲一下吗
She's still there, isn't she?
她还在那 是吗?
Yep.
是的
Just kidding, sweetie.
逗你的 亲爱的
That's better.
这样才对嘛
Goodbye, Jake.
再见 杰克
I'm not kissing you.
我不会亲你的
Charlie, I almost forgot.
哦 查理 我差点忘了
I'm serving hors d'oeuvres at an open house tomorrow.
明天我要在家庭聚会上 准备餐前开胃食品
So I'll borrow Berta for a couple of hours.
所以我要借用贝塔几小时
Say what?
你说什么?
I'm talking to Charlie.
我正在和查理说话
You don't mind, do you?
你不介意的哦?
Mind? Well,
介意?呃 我 呃...
I You wanna borrow me?
你要借用我?
What am I, a carpet steamer?
你把我当成什么了? 地毯蒸汽清洁机?
I'm not saying I won't pay you.
我可没这么说 我又不付你工钱
Plus, you can take home all the leftovers.
你还可以把所有的剩菜打包
Why don't you just toss them all in a big bowl
瞧吧 你干脆煮成一大锅好了
and I'll eat them out in the yard.
我直接在院子里吃掉好了
That's a little uncalled for.
这么说可不合适啊
I thought I was doing you a favor.
我可是在帮你的忙
You wanna do me a favor? Take the money
你想帮我的忙 你把钱拿走了
you were gonna pay me
那是我的钱
convert it into rolls of nickels,
你却换成硬币
then bend over and
然后俯下身去...
Berta, Berta, Berta.
贝塔! 贝塔! 贝塔.
I don't have to stand here and listen to this.
我不需要再继续听了
You have to make a decision.
查理 是时候决定了
It's her or me.
要她 还是要我
The skank's right, Charlie.
死对头说的对 查理
It's her or me.
不是她走就是我走
Great.
这下好了
That's just great.
好极了
Did somebody say there was a big bowl of food?
刚才有人提到一大锅食物是吗?
You got an offer on the condo?
你愿意帮我买♥♥下公♥寓♥?
Oh, Mom, you're a lifesaver.
哦 妈妈 你真是我的救世主
I don't care.
我不在乎
At least I don't have to pay you a commission.
至少我不用付你佣金
Oh, come on, you're my mother.
别这样啊 你可是我妈妈
Wait, wait. Hang on, I've got another call coming in.
等等 先别挂 妈妈 我有别的电♥话♥进来
Hello?
你好
Oh, Kandi. Kandi, hello.
哦 康迪 你好
Yeah, listen, about the condo.
嗯 听着 关于公♥寓♥
My mom just got a very reasonable offer and
我妈妈刚出了个合理的价格
I give up, what are you wearing?
那你先说 你正穿着什么?
Hang on.
别挂
Mom, I gotta go.
妈妈 我得走了
Kandi, I'll be right there.
康迪 我马上到
Hey, is Berta here?
贝塔在吗?
I haven't seen her.
我没看见她
Great.
太好了
I admit, I never thought you'd
我不得不说 查理 我以为你不会
have the cojones to fire Berta.
有勇气炒了贝塔
Are you kidding?
你在说笑吧?
I've got huge cojones.
我的勇气(原意为"睾丸")多大啊
Why do you think I wear these baggy shorts?
不然我怎么穿这么宽松的裤子呢?
Wait,
等等
wait, wait. You fired Berta?
等会儿 你炒了贝塔?
Yes, Alan.
是的 艾伦.
She didn't know her place and she had to go.
她搞不清楚自己的身份 所以她得离开这
But we can't live without Berta.
可没有贝塔我们怎么活?
I'll be right there, sweetie.
我马上就到 宝贝
Hurry.
快点
You know what?
知道吗?
We need to work on our communication skills.
我俩得加强下沟通能力
I always thought that. I didn't think
我也这么想 可我不认为
you'd be open No, no, no, you jackass.
对你应该有所保留... 不不 你这个蠢货
God, you play along like a monkey with a mandolin.
天啊 你就是只玩着 曼陀林(一种琵琶乐器)的猴子
You mean you didn't fire Berta?
你是说你没有炒掉贝塔?
That's it, give me the mandolin.
好吧 给我曼陀林(一种琵琶乐器)
You promised Berta you'd get rid of Lydia.
可你答应贝塔赶走莉迪亚
Alan, do you know what this is?
艾伦 你知道这是什么吗?
No. Then shut your stupid mouth.
不知道 那就闭上你愚蠢的嘴巴
And don't tell Berta she was here.
千万别告诉贝塔她在这
Fine. Just give me a heads up when you're lying.
好吧 你撒谎前给我点暗示
I'm always lying.
我无时无刻不在撒谎
I'll give you a heads up when I'm not.
我不撒谎时会给你提示的
Yeah, you're the smart one.
嗯 你多么聪明啊
Know how I know?
我怎么知道的?
The washing machine called and told me.
叫洗衣机打电♥话♥给我
Ooh! High heels and Cool Whip.
哦！高跟鞋和鲜奶油
Oh, Charlie, how could you?
哦 查理 你怎么可以?
Berta, this is not what it looks like.
贝塔 事情不是你想的那样
Charlie, you lied to me.
查理 你骗我
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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