好汉两个半（2003）

Two and a Half Men S04E11

Part 1 Nov. 17, 2020, 1:57 p.m.

Joy to the world I'm getting laid.
普世欢腾我要做♥爱♥了
I'm getting laid tonight.
我今晚要做♥爱♥了
We'll light the yule log, deck the halls, and then we'll play some jingle ballz.
我们要点亮圣诞柴装饰大厅然后要玩一些小游戏
It's been a real long wait this is our second date.
我已经等了好久这是我们第2次约会
It's Christmas Eve and I'm getting laid.
今天是圣诞夜而我要做♥爱♥了
Hey, I'm mixing up the eggnog.
嘿我正在调蛋酒
You want this broad lit up or just slightly glowing?
你是想让这个女的醉到挂还是轻微的脸红就好?
Well, let's see, we are celebrating peace on earth
哦我想想我们是要庆祝世间和平
...and good will towards all mankind, so let's get her plowed!
以及人性本善所以我们把她灌醉吧
Hallelujah!
哈利路亚
Tonight I'm boinking Gloria.
今晚我要上了格洛里亚.
Two and a Half Men S 04 E 11
第4季第11集后期:wqswqswswqs
Four callgirls, three french maids two drunk twins...
四个应♥召♥女郎三个法国少女两对喝醉的双胞胎
...and a lap dance in a pear tree.
以及一段火♥辣♥煽情的舞蹈
Merry Christmas, Uncle Charlie.
圣诞节快乐查理叔叔
Oh, right. The other part of Christmas.
对哦圣诞节的另一个部份
Go ahead, open it.
快点拆开
Hold on. Let me give you your gift first.
等一下我先把你的礼物给你
I don't want you to think I forgot you.
我不希望你认为我忘了
A hundred bucks? Wow! I picked it out myself.
100块? 哇我亲自挑选的
Now open yours. Okay.
现在拆你的好
It's kind of exciting...
有点令人兴奋
Fart in a can?
罐装屁?
You don't have one, do you?
你没有这玩意对吧?
Well, I've got you.
我有你了
This is good for travel.
这个旅行时很有用
Jake, I just talked to your mom she's gonna be here any minute.
杰克我刚跟你妈聊过她马上就来了
Don't look at Uncle Charlie's gift. You're getting the same thing.
别看查理叔叔的礼物因为我给你的是一样的
Oh, boy. I'm excited. Don't be.
哦我好兴奋千万不要
Oh, speaking of gifts... Merry Christmas.
哦讲到礼物圣诞快乐
I'll leave it up to you.
我让你自己决定
You can open it tomorrow morning at your mom's or...
你可以等到明天早上再拆或是
You can rip it open with your teeth like a rabied jackal.
像只得狂犬病的豺狼般扯烂他
You got me the new Nintendo?
你买♥♥任天堂的Wii给我?
It's from Uncle Charlie, too.
查理叔叔也有出钱
You owe me 125 dollars.
你欠我125块
But I just... Wow, this is so cool!
但是我刚才哇真是太酷了
Thanks Dad! Thanks Uncle Charlie!
谢谢爸谢谢查理叔叔
Yeah yeah. Merry Christmas.
好好圣诞快乐
I'm gonna go hook it up. No no no.
我要去玩了不不不
No, you're leaving.
不你该走了
Your Uncle Charlie's hookin' up.
你的查理叔叔才有得玩
You're leaving too, right? Yes, relax.
你也会走对吧? 是的放心
I plan on spending Christmas Eve at a movie theatre all by myself...
我打算一个人在电影院度过圣诞夜
...just so you can have sex tonight.
好让你今晚可以做♥爱♥
You can have sex too.
你也可以做♥爱♥
Just pick the right movie theatre.
只要选对电影院就好了
Jake! Time to go!
杰克该走了
Take some paper towels and don't wear your suede shoes.
带些纸巾在身上然后别穿你的麂皮鞋
Ho ho ho. That's another option.
呵呵呵那是另一项选择
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Come on in.
圣诞快乐圣诞快乐请进
Hey, Merry Christmas, Charlie.
嘿圣诞快乐查理
Yeah, swell. I go get the kid.
太好了我去叫那小鬼
Ooh, eggnog. Honey, we've got a long drive ahead of us.
哦蛋酒亲爱的我们要开长途车
We're spending the holiday in San Diego with my parents.
我们要和我父母在圣地亚哥过节
That's why I need eggnog.
所以我才要喝蛋酒
Hey, I spent thanksgiving with your parents.
嘿我和你父母过感恩节
Oh, oh really? Your Mom's out of rehab?
哦真的吗? 你妈从勒戒所出来了?
Yes, my Mom's out of rehab.
是的我妈出来了
Actually, she kind of jumped the fence.
事实上她是爬墙逃出来的
Well, woman's gonna be your mother-in-law you might as well get used to it.
这个女的将会是你的岳母所以你最好要习惯
Remember the time she rode out of Betty Ford on a lawnmower?
记得她上次从一台割草机下死里逃生吗?
On a plus side she bakes Toll House cookies with walnuts and demerol.
比较好的一面就是她会用胡桃和止痛药做饼干
Stuff never goes back in the box the way it came out.
东西拆了好像永远都摆不回去了
That's a life lesson, Jake.
这是生活上的必修课程杰克
Come on, your Mom's here. Vamos.
快点你妈已经到了滚吧
Ok, table set on the deck and dinner's in the owen.
好桌椅放置在阳台上晚餐在烤箱里了
Right.
好的
You might wanna keep the candles away from the eggnog.
蜡烛离酒要远一点
Got it.
了解
Allright then. I'm leaving now.
好吧那我要离开了
Well, then goodbye and thanks.
嗯谢谢你再见
Yeah, Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas.
嗯圣诞快乐圣诞快乐
All the best. Same to you.
万事如意你也是
Gimme my bonus you blockhead.
给我红利你这笨蛋
Oh, right.
哦好
Thank you for all your hard work.
谢谢你辛苦工作
I couldn't get along without you.
没有你我活不下去
You're one in a million.
你真是万中选一
Really?
真的吗?
What would Jesus do?
耶稣会做什么?
Herb? Oh, no thanks. I'm driving.
贺伯? 不谢了我要开车
I'll have some.
我想喝一点
No, you won't. It's for grownups.
不你不行这是给大人喝的
I'll have another.
我要再喝一杯
Sweetie, my parents are waiting.
亲爱的我父母在等
I know, dear.
我知道亲爱的
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?
有其母必有其女对吧?
Okay. Merry Christmas to all.
好的祝大家圣诞快乐
And to all: a goodbye.
然后大家再见 (这是一首诗原文是"大家晚安")
Hang on. I got a long bus ride
等一下我公交车要坐很久
and I dont want to sober up halfway home.
而我不想到了半路时还是清醒的
Hello?
哈啰?
Kandy? What are you doing here?
康迪? 你在这里做什么?
I didn't wana be alone on Christmas Eve
我圣诞夜不想一个人过
and I didn't know where else to go.
而且我不知道我还能去哪里
Where's your new boyfriend?
你的新男友呢?
He decided to spend Christmas with his family.
他决定和他的家人过圣诞
Why didn't he bring you along?
他为什么不带你去?
He thought I would make his wife uncomfortable.
他认为这样他老婆会不太爽
Oh, sweetie come on in.
哦亲爱的请进
Whoa whoa whoa I've got company coming, remember?
我有客人要来记得吗?
I can't just throw her out, Charlie.
我不能就这样把她赶出去查理
How do you know if you don't try?
你不试怎么会知道?
Lighten up, it's Christmas.
别这样今天是圣诞夜
Okay, two minutes, and then I bring out the fart in the can.
好吧两分钟再不滚我就要把罐装屁拿出来了
You remember Judith.
你应该记得茱蒂丝
Hi Judith. Hello.
嗨茱蒂丝哈啰
And this is her fianc? Herb.
然后这位是她的未婚夫贺伯
Hi Herb. Hi.
嗨贺伯嗨
Hey, let me take your coat.
我帮你拿外套
Oh my golly.
我的天啊
Well, I guess we should get going.
嗯我想我们该走了
What's the hurry?
急什么?
Your parents are waiting, remember?
你父母在等记得吗?
What do you care, they don't like you anyway.
你何必在意反正他们也不喜欢你
Eggnog?
蛋酒?
Thank you. You're welcome.
谢谢不客气
I'm a doctor.
我是一个医生
A real one or like Alan?
是真的医生还是像艾伦那样?
I'm a pediatrician.
我是小儿科医生
Wow. So you're into feet?
哇所以你是对脚有兴趣?
No. Children.
不是小孩
Isn't that illegal?
这样不是非法的吗?
Berta. Don't you have a bus to catch?
柏坦你不是要赶公交车吗?
And miss the show, are you nuts?
然后错过这里的好戏你疯了吗?
Feliz navidad everyone.
圣诞快乐各位 (西班牙文)
I didn't see that one coming.
我没预期到她会来
Mom, what are you doing here?
妈你来这里做什么?
Well I was on my way to a party. Thought I drop off your gift...
我正要去参加派对想说顺道过来送礼物