好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E17
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:58 p.m.
I have to, Charlie.
我别无选择啊 查理
I have to.
别无选择啊
Yo, mad props on the sandwich, Dad.
粑粑三明治好好漆的说
This PB and J is off the hook.
偶好稀饭
Excuse me?
你说什么
He's been watching MTV Cribs.
他在看MTV台 学到了这种奇怪的流行语
The kid's a sponge.
这孩子什么都学
For shizzle, my dizzle.
系啊系啊
Hey, MC Skid Mark.
嘿 口齿不清的孩子
Here's something else you left in your pants.
我在你裤口袋儿里找到了点东西
Oh, right. I was supposed to mail this.
哦 对啊 我准备把这个寄出去的
What is it? It's a birthday card
这是什么 生日贺卡
Mom gave me to send to Grandma.
妈妈让我给奶奶的
Oh, God. Today's Mom's birthday.
天哪 今天是妈妈的生日
You forgot Mom's birthday?
你忘了妈妈的生日
Did you remember it?
难道你记得
Hey, hey, no one expects me to remember anything.
嘿 没人会希望我记得好不好
Whers the last time you talked?
你多就没和她讲话了
I don't know. When we told her
我不知道 可能自从我们告诉她
she's horrible and nobody likes her.
她是个讨厌鬼 没人喜欢她的时候
Oh, yeah. That was a fun day.
哦 对哦 那天可真好玩
Guess I could save this for next year.
我想明年再寄算了
No, no, no. You'll give it to her in person.
不不不 你应该亲自给她
We'll go buy her a present,
我们出去给她买♥♥件礼物
then bring it to her.
然后亲自送给她
Gee, Alan, she hasn't talked to us in weeks.
天哪 艾伦 她都两个星期没跟我们说话了
Don't you think showing up with a gift might jeopardize that?
你真想破坏着美好时光吗
If we don't,
如果我们不去
we'll never hear the end of it.
这事儿就永远没完
True dat.
那确实
You tell them, Poop Dogg.
说得对啊 小屁孩儿
Yo, check out the bling.
看哦 粉漂亮的说
Jake, I'm not gonna tell you again.
杰克 我再跟你说一遍
You're a pasty white kid. Start acting like one.
你跟我把舌头伸直了再说话
Fine.
好
Oh, this is cool.
这个好酷哦
It does say, "Mom. "
确实很有老妈的风范
Charlie, be serious.
查理 认真点
Jake, if you wanna help,
杰克 如果你真想帮忙
find something that's appropriate for your grandma.
那就找点适合给你奶奶的东西
Like what?
比如
See if they got a grizzly bear ripping apart a salmon.
看看他们有没有残忍♥强壮的大灰熊
Hi there.
你好啊
May I help you find something?
我能帮你们挑礼物吗
Oh, yeah. We're looking for
是啊 我们在找
a birthday gift for our mother.
给妈妈的生日礼物.
Oh, how sweet. Whers her birthday?
你们真好 她生日什么时候啊
Today.
今天
He forgot.
是他忘了
Well, tell me something about her.
好吧 告诉我她的个性
What does she like?
她是个怎样的人
Hurting people.
毒舌妇
Charlie
查理...
It's a little hard to answer that
这个问题比较难以回答
because we have a strained relationship.
因为我们关系不太好
Oh, so you'd like to find a gift that
噢 这么说你们想买♥♥件礼物
would help bring you closer together?
让你们之间关系更加紧密
No, no. No, no. Oh, no. No.
不想不想不想
This is just your standard family obligation
这就是一种家庭责任
here it is, happy birthday,
"祝你生日快乐 这是礼物
stay-off-our-backs kind of thing.
离我们远点儿" 就这意思
But with a pretty bow.
但是会很礼貌的说
I see. And what is your price range?
好吧 大概需要多少钱的
Enough that she can't complain,
足够让她不抱怨
but not so much that it's won'th her while to return it.
但别贵到让她不想退货
Exactly.
对的
Have you considered
你们有没有考虑过
a nice perfume?
送一瓶香水
Do you know her scent?
你们知道她喜欢的香味吗
Oh, actually I don't. I do.
事实上 我不知道
You do? Yep.
我知道 你知道
Do you carry Chanel N 666
是啊 你们有没有夏奈尔666号♥ (毒药)
You know, I think I'm going to let the two of you just browse a bit more
这样吧 还是你们自己看看
and I'll be back, maybe.
我待会回来... 可能也不回来了
Great news.
好消息
It's on sale.
这个在打折呢
Now, remember, this was not a last-minute thing.
记着啊 这并不是我们一时兴起
Our plan all along was to surprise her.
我们已经计划好久了
I know how to lie, Dad.
我知道怎么撒谎 老爸
We're not lying. We're being considerate.
我们不是撒谎 只是为她着想
By lying.
通过说谎的方式
Happy birthday.
生日快乐
Oh, what a surprise.
真是个惊喜啊
That was the plan all along.
我们计划好久了
I don't know what to say.
我不知道该怎么说
After the last time we spoke, I assumed that
我们上次谈过以后 我还以为...
Come on, Mom.
别这样 妈妈
No matter what, you're still our mother.
无论如何 你还是我们的妈妈呀
Right, Charlie? You're still our mother.
对吧 查理? 你还是我们的妈妈呀
Give her her present, Jake.
把礼物给她 杰克
Happy birthday.
生日快乐
Thank you.
谢谢
Oh, it's heavy.
好重哦
It's just a bowl.
是个大碗
I wanted to get you a bear eating a fish.
我本想给你买♥♥只可怕的吃鱼的大灰熊的
But we got her a nice crystal bowl instead.
但还是买♥♥了个不错的水晶碗
So can we come in?
我们能进去吗
Actually, I'm having a little party.
事实上 我正在开个小派对
A party?
派对
And you didn't invite us?
你没有邀请我们
Charles, if someone's not going to mourn at my funeral
查理 如果某人连在我葬礼上默哀都不肯
I certainly don't want them at my birthday party.
我当然是不会邀请他来参加我的生日派对啦
Well, then who's here?
那谁会在这呢
People who love me.
那些爱我的人
People who care about me and accept me for who I am.
那些在乎我并接受我的个性的人
Oh, I gotta see this.
哦 我倒要看看
Please come in.
请进
Oh, hello.
你好
Hi.
你好
Charlie, Alan, Jake, I'd like you to meet
查理 艾伦 杰克 这几位是
Roger and Philip and their son, Changpu.
Roger Philip以及他们的儿子张普
These are my sons and grandson.
这些人是我的儿子和孙子
Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
很高兴见到你们 你好
Your mom is such an incredible woman.
你妈妈是个绝妙的女人
She's like the loving mother I never had.
我的亲妈都没她好
She's fabulous.
她太棒了
We're one big, happy family.
我们是个快乐的家庭
Son of a bitch. She got new people.
他姥姥的 她还真换掉了身边的人
Who are these guys?
这些人是谁
You're surprised I have friends?
你很奇怪我还有朋友吗
You're surprised that I'm surprised?
你很奇怪我会奇怪吗
Roger works in my real-estate office,
Roger在我的房♥地♥产♥公♥司♥工作
Philip does my hair.
Philip是我的发型师 我介绍他俩认识
And I introduced them. They make a lovely couple, don't they?
他们就像恩爱的夫妻俩 对吧
Yeah, I guess.
是啊
And they adopted
然后他们收养了...
Chung King?
...张皮
Changpu. Yes, from China.
张普 从中国来的孩子
Of course, I had to help them a bit,
当然我帮了他们一点忙
greasing the bureaucratic wheels.
你知道 就是做通一些官方工作
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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