好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E01
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:56 p.m.
Ok, ok, let's start from the beginning...
好 好 我们从头开始
Well, things were fine until about a month ago...
一切都很好 只到回到一个月前
nono no no,
不 不 不
i'll go back upstairs, you'll come knowk on my door again,
我回楼上去 你再来敲门
and say you want to talk to me,
说你要跟我谈谈
only this time, i'll kill you !
只不过这一回 我要杀了你
Come on !
哦 拜托
You're all i have left in this world,
这世界上我只有你了
i need you Charlie !
我需要你 查理
Anybody here know a Charlie ?
这儿有谁认识一个叫查理的吗
Oh Jeez...
天啊
I'm working for Caligula.
我在为卡里古拉工作 (罗马帝国的一位荒淫残暴的皇帝)
Hi Berta.
嗨 贝塔
Hey Sippy !
嘿 Sippy
What are you doing here ?
你在这里干什么
My marriage is over,
我的婚姻完蛋了
Kandy kicked me out.
康迪把我赶出来了
Damn, that's horrible...
该死 那太可怕了
Yeah.
可不是
Damn, damn, damn !
该死 该死 该死
Tell me about it.
你那怎么了?
I had October in the poll.
我赌是在♥十♥月♥份的
Poll ? What poll ?
赌?赌什么?
Me, your brother, your mom, a couple of neighbors
我和你兄弟 你母亲还有几个邻居
had a poll on how long before she dumped your ass.
赌你还要多久被才她甩掉
I was so close !
我就差那么一点了
You were betting that my marriage was gonna fail ?
你们在打赌我的婚姻会失败?
Noo,
不是
we were betting on when.
我们只是赌在什么时候罢了
So Charlie took you back, huh ?
查理把你领回来了?
Well... Not with open arms, or, an open heart, or...
他并没有展开双臂 也没有敞开心扉
Even an open door,
他甚至连门都没开
after he pushed me out, i had to climb in through the window.
他把我赶出去以后 我得从窗户爬进来
But yeah, i'm back.
但是 我回来了
Well, i'm glad.
我很高兴
You're kidding ?
你在开玩笑吧
No !
真的
With you and the kid around,
你和那个孩子在这儿的话
i won't have to hose down the washing machine so often.
我就不用经常清理洗衣机了
I'll get that.
我去开门
I guess there's no trusting this butter now...
我想这些黄油不能吃了
or the loose bananas...
这些香蕉也是
Hello Alan.
你好 艾伦
Hey dad.
嗨 老爸
Hey buddy.
嗨 伙计
So is somebody gonna explain to me what the heck is going on ?
谁能跟我解释一下究竟发生了什么事吗
I thought he should hear it from you
我想应该由你来跟他说
Ok
好吧
Jake listen...
杰克 听着
I know you liked Kandy very much,
我知道你很喜欢康迪
but she and i have decided that, we really can't stay married.
但我们已经决定了我们的 婚姻不能维持下去
Oooh man !
天啊
It doesn't mean that you can't be friends with her...
那并不代表你不能和她做朋友
No, I had December !
我不是说这件事 我赌是在十二月份的
Alan, i just want to say i'm very sorry
艾伦 我只是想说我很抱歉
things didn't work out for you and Kandy
你和康迪在一起并不合适
Thanks...
谢谢
You won the pool, didn't you ?
你打赌赢了 对不对
Yeah...
对
And just FYI, i spoke to my lawyer,
有件事需要跟你说一下 我跟我的律师谈过
and he said that even if Kandy takes you for everything you've got,
他说即使康迪真的喜欢你
you'll still have to pay me alemony,
愿意嫁给你 你仍然要付给我赡养费
here's his bill.
这是他咨♥询♥费的账单
huh... 600 dollars !?
600美元
He explained it very slowly.
他解释得慢条斯理
You didn't call
你没有给我打电♥话♥
What?
什么?
When dad moved out, you said you
爸爸搬出去的时候 你说我们俩还可以
and me could still get together and do stuff.
一起出来玩的
But you never called.
但是你从来没有给我打电♥话♥
Oh jeez Jake, i'm sorry.
啊 上帝 杰克 我很抱歉
I waited.
我一直在等着
I'll make it up to you.
我会补偿你的
When ?
什么时候?
Later.
以后再说吧
I'm still here.
我还在这儿呢
What do you want me to do, Jake ?
你想让我做什么?杰克
I don't know,
我不知道
you really let me down, and it hurt my feelings.
你真的令我很失望 我的感情受到了伤害
I know, i feel awful.
我明白 我也不好受
Fifty bucks, and it goes away.
给我50美元 你就会好受些
Ten Done
10美元 成交
Love you uncle Charlie.
我爱你 查理叔叔
Back at you.
得了吧你
How long is he gonna sit out there ?
他还要在外面坐多久
I don't know Jake,
我也不知道 杰克
he's pretty depressed.
他的情绪很低落
Yeah, well that's the prize you pay
没错 这就是
when they take you their penis.
只用下半身思考的代价
You hear that from your mother ?
你是从你老妈那儿学来的吗
No, your mother.
不 是从你老妈那儿
And how are you feeling about all this ?
你对这件事有什么想法吗
I'm ok.
我没事
You're sure ?
你确定?
Uncle Charlie,
查理叔叔
this is not my first divorce.
我老爸又不是第一次离婚了
Got it.
明白
Tell you one thing though, i'm never getting married.
告诉你一件事--我永远都不会结婚
That's a sweet dream to have, Jake.
那是一个美好的梦想 杰克
Sooner or later, you're gonna
但是 早晚你会
meet a girl who's smart, beautiful
遇到一位聪明 漂亮
and has a real grudge against her parents.
而又对你父母恨之入骨的女孩
What are you gonna do then ?
到时候你打算怎么办呢
Don't worry, i have a plan.
不用担心 我有一个计划
Really ?
真的
Yeah, if a girl falls in love with me,
没错 如果有哪个女孩爱上我了
i'll tell her i can't marry her until i have enough money,
我就会告诉她要等到 我有了足够的钱 我才能娶她
even though i'll be secretly rich.
即使这样我还是会悄悄地有钱起来
How do you plan to get secretly rich ?
你打算怎样悄悄地有钱起来呢
I'm gonna marry a movie star.
我会娶一位电影明星
You're gonna marry a movie star,
你要娶一位电影明星
to avoid getting married ?
来避免和另一个女孩结婚
I didn't say i worked out all the bugs.
我想计划里还有一些问题需要解决
well, keep me posted.
好吧 一有消息就通知我
Hey.
嘿
Hey.
嘿
Jake sure changed in the last few months.
杰克在过去几个月里确实改变了不少
Starting to see a real little man here
变成一个小男子汉了
Not a little bright little man...
不太聪明的小男子汉
So what 'you doing ?
你在做什么
making plans...
我在制定计划
Do they involve marrying a movie star ?
那些计划跟娶一位电影明星 有什么关系吗
What ?
什么?
Nothing, nothing... What's your plan ?
没事 你有什么计划?
well, i figured i'd have a nice big lunch,
我在考虑中午饱餐一顿
get real drunk,throw down to the beach
大醉一场 逛到海滩上
and try to swim to Japan...
然后设法游泳到日本
Why the lunch ?
为什么是吃午饭
I want to cramp up and drown
我希望在鲨鱼把我撕成碎片之前
before the sharks rip me to shreds.
我就抽筋淹死了
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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