好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E04
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:56 p.m.
Okay, first of all, for 11.95
恩 首先 11.95元的东西...
those aren't rubies.
不可能是红宝石的
You don't know that.
你又不知道
Oh, but I do.
哦 我明白
And second, girls like Wendy Cho
其次 像Wendy Cho这样的女孩
don't wear skull earrings.
是不戴骨制耳环的
How do you know?
你怎么知道
She gets straight A's, right?
她成绩一直得A,是吗?
She plays violin?
她拉小提琴吗
She's also the captain of the math team.
她还是数学组的组长
Exactly. So you see my point?
非常正确 你明白我的意思
Oh, okay.
哦 好吧
How about that skull belt buckle?
那个骨制搭扣的带子怎么样
No skulls.
没有骨制的
Just out of curiosity,
我很好奇
does this Wendy Cho hate her parents?
这个Wendy Cho很讨厌自己的父母吗
I don't think so. Why?
我想不是 为什么这么问
Just trying to get a handle on the relationship.
只是想了解你们的关系
She says she likes me because I'm unpretentious.
她曾说过他喜欢我 因为我是谦谦君子
Do you know what that means?
你知道那是什么意思吗
It means she likes me.
意思是她喜欢我
Yeah, okay.
恩 是的
So, what do you want this gift to say?
那你送她的这份礼物想表达什么意思?
Uh Happy birthday?
恩... "生日快乐"
A birthday card says "happy birthday. "
生日贺卡表达的意思是"生日快乐"
What are you trying to tell her by giving her jewelry?
你送她珠宝想向她表明什么
I don't know. I guess that I love her.
我不知道 我想是... 我爱她
What?
什么
Nothing. That's terrific.
没什么 非常了不起
Because you don't love any girl,
嗨 不要因为你不爱任何女孩
doesn't mean I shouldn't.
就认为我也不会爱
Excuse me, but I have loved many girls
抱歉 我曾经爱过很多女孩
and many girls have loved me.
并且很多女孩爱过我
That's not love. It's just sex.
那不是爱 仅仅是性♥爱♥
I'm sorry, I'm not following you.
哦 对不起 我不明白你在说什么
If you died tomorrow,
如果你明天死了 会有多少女孩
how many girls would come to your funeral?
参加你的葬礼
A lot of them.
非常多
Granted, a few might show up just
让你说中了 一些人会来参加
to make sure I'm really dead
只是过来确认我是否死了
but I feel confident
但是我确信整个丧礼的气氛
that the overall tone of the event would be one of sadness.
将会是悲哀的
Lf you say so.
你要这么说也没办法
Yeah, I say so.
是的 肯定是
Now let's get out of here.
我们离开这里
I haven't picked out a gift yet.
我还没有挑选礼物呢
Then get her the stupid skull earrings.
把那个烂骨质耳环送给她
But you said she wouldn't like them.
可是你刚刚说她不会喜欢的
What do I know? Nobody loves me.
我怎么知道 女孩都不爱我
Nobody's coming to my funeral.
没有人愿意参加我的葬礼
Whoa, where did that come from?
哦 这话是从何说起
Here, what about this gold heart necklace?
看 这个心型金项链怎么样
It's kind of expensive.
有点贵
You want the best, Jake, you pay for it.
你想买♥♥好的 杰克 你就需要多付出
I mean, I love her and everything
我的意思是 我是很爱她...
If it means we can get out of here quicker,
告诉你把,如果这能让我们快点离开这里
I'll front you the difference.
我会帮你付清余额
I don't know.
我不知道
You don't know? I'm offering you a deal.
"我不知道" 是什么意思? 我可是在帮你大忙
Yeah, but you always say
是的 但你总是说
if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
"太好听的话 其实是假的"
All right, how about if I pay for the whole thing?
好吧 我帮你买♥♥下来如何
That sounds even better. So no.
这听起来更好,所以不
Come on, brainiac.
走吧 Brainiac
What do I have to do for you?
要我为你做什么事吗
Just promise to be sad at my funeral.
在我的葬礼上要装的很悲哀
Do I have to cry?
需要我嚎啕大哭吗
No.
不
Will there be food?
那有东西吃吗
Yes.
有
Can I bring a date?
能确定日期吗
You're just screwing with me now, right?
你在逼我发疯 知道吗
How does it feel?
感觉如何
Still early. Wanna go shoot some hoops?
还早 想打会篮球吗
No, I'm gonna go
不 我要去打电♥话♥
call Wendy Cho.
约Wendy Cho
Hey, bros before Chos.
有了女朋友就忘记了兄弟
"Thanks for the ride to the mall, Uncle Charlie.
"谢谢带我去商场 查理叔叔"
Thanks for buying me the necklace, Uncle Charlie.
"谢谢您给我买♥♥的项链 查理"
Thanks for not slugging me
"谢谢您没有捶我 因为不礼貌的表达
when I started mouthing off about your funeral, Uncle Charlie. "
了您的葬礼 查理叔叔"
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
喔 喔 冷静点
Calm down. Easy, boy.
冷静 别紧张 宝贝
Charlie, what did you do to him?
查理, 你想对他干什么
What did I do to him?
我对他干了什么
I practically crapped my pants is what I did to him.
我几乎快尿裤子了
What the hell is that?
这到底是怎么会事
This is Chester. Isn't he cute?
这是切斯特 是不是很可爱
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
是的 你是 是的 你是
Yes He's not staying here, Alan.
他不能待在这里 艾伦
With all due respect, that's what you said about me.
好吧 你要尊重我的权利,你说过的
That's because no kennel in town would take you.
那是因为没有狗窝愿意收留你
Oh, come on, look at him.
哦 别这样 看看他
How can you not love this face?
你怎么能不喜欢这张脸呢
Easy. I know where he puts it.
很简单 我知道应该把他放到什么地方
Now take him back to Kandi's.
现在就送回康迪家
I can't.
我办不到
Why not?
为什么不
Then simplify it.
那就简单的说
Okay, well, um
好的 哦 恩...
I stole him.
是偷回来的
Oh, Alan,
哦 艾伦
I may think with my penis but at least I think.
用屁♥股♥想想都知道
You won't have to do anything.
别担心 你不会有任何麻烦
I'll feed him, I'll walk him.
我会喂他 会带他散步
Walk him?
散步
You could hitch a wagon to him and settle the West.
你可以给他套一辆四轮车 再驻扎到西部
No dogs in my house.
我的房♥子里不允许有狗
Especially stolen dogs who are big enough
更别说是偷来狗 大的
Whoa,
噢呕!
what the hell is that?
那到底是什么鬼东西
That is leaving.
那是... 离开
Please.
哦 查理 求你了
My entire life, Chester is the only thing
在我的一生中 切斯特是唯一一个活物
I ever slept with that didn't sue me for alimony.
我和他一起睡觉 不会因为生活费而被控诉
How long you think you're gonna get away with this?
艾伦 你还需要多久才能摆脱阴影
I was very careful. I left the door open so that
我处理的非常谨慎 我把门敞开着
when Kandi comes home she'll think
于是康迪回家后 她会认为
she left it open and Chester ran away.
她自己忘记了关门 切斯特逃跑了
She'll never dream of looking for him here.
她做梦也不会找到他了
Probably.
可能
Just in case, hide Chester.
以防万一 -- 把切斯特藏起来
How am I supposed to hide him?
我怎么才能假装把它藏起来
Sit under him with a pail and pretend he's a cow.
在下面放个桶 假装是头牛
Coming. Charlie, please. Oh, man.
来了
Come on, Bullwinkle.
快点 公牛
Yes.
是的
Yes. How can I help you?
是的 有什么需要我帮忙的吗
We're investigating a stolen-dog report.
我们正处理一宗偷狗案件
A dog?
一只狗
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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