好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E14
Part 4
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:57 p.m.
Huh.
哦
Anyway, I think I am ready for a nice, normal relationship.
我想我应该有个正常点的男朋友
No more getting blitzed
而不是喝的烂醉如泥
and falling into bed with the first guy who asks me.
碰到男人就上
Or girl.
还上女人
Or couple.
有时还3P
Huh.
哦
Huh, huh, huh.
哦
Excuse me.
不好意思
Okay, new plan.
计划有变
I'm gonna boink Danielle
我要搞到丹妮尔
and Alars gonna live here forever.
艾伦可以永远住在这儿
Not a surprise.
一点儿也不奇怪
Hello.
你好
It's not your night, Alan.
今晚你没戏 艾伦
What?
什么
Danielle. She's not right for you.
丹妮尔不适合你
But you said she was perfect for me.
但你说她和我很配啊
I was wrong.
我错了不行嘛
She's sick and twisted.
她变♥态♥而且毛病一大堆
That makes her perfect for me.
这和我很合适
I'm sorry, I'm not following.
不好意思 我没弄懂
I was talking to her out there.
我刚和她谈了
And it turns out she's a boozehound and a sex freak.
发现她是个酒鬼而且滥交
What?
什么
I haven't seen that in her at all.
我怎么没看出来
I mean, I got a good-night kiss but she was perfectly sober
我和她吻别 她很正常
and her tongue did nothing freaky.
也没有强吻我
That's because she's trying to hide who she really is.
因为她想掩饰她的真性情
And who's that? Me.
怎样的真性情 就像我一样
She's me, Alan, top to bottom.
她就是我这种人 艾伦 一个模子出来的
Except, you know, from here to here.
除了这一部分
So, what is it you want me to do?
那你要我怎么办
Step aside so you can lead her back to a life of sordid degradation?
放弃她然后你就能和她一起过堕落的生活
Lf you wouldn't mind.
正是如此
No, no, no.
不行不行不行
You gave her to me.
是你把她给我的
There's no takebacks.
不能再要回去
All right, fine.
好吧好吧
We'll just let her make her own decision.
我们让她决定
All right, all right. May the better man win.
好吧好吧 像我这种好男人一定会赢的
You should probably be rooting for the shriveled man.
是好男人还是"小"男人
Now, now, just a little.
再来一点
Ha. You got it.
没问题
That is a beautiful dress.
这裙子真好看
Oh, thank you. Ha, ha.
哎呀
Whoops. Ooh. Ha, ha.
哦
Sorry.
不好意思
Ha. That's okay. Ha, ha.
没关系
Mm, mm.
嗯...
Buttery,
柔滑爽口...
with a slight citrus finish.
有柑橘的余香
Hmm.
嗯
Ahh.
啊
So you know wine.
你对红酒还挺有研究的
Okay, Danielle, we'd better get going
好的 丹妮尔 我们要走了
if we're gonna make our reservation.
我预订了桌子
You're right. Thanks for the wine, Charlie.
对啊 谢谢你的酒 查理.
Whoa, what's the hurry?
别急嘛别急嘛
I was gonna make a pitcher of margaritas.
我再调一杯马格利特酒
Oh. I love margaritas.
哦 我喜欢这酒
I'll be right back.
马上回来
Gee, Danielle, do you really wanna sit here
天哪 丹妮尔你真想坐这儿
and drink with Charlie?
和查理喝酒
You know what? You're right, Alan.
对啊对啊 艾伦.
You're a nice guy.
你是个好男人
You're good for me.
我应该跟你走
Okay. Charlie, we're leaving.
好 查理 我们走了哦
Wait, wait, wait.
等等等等等
If you don't have time for margaritas,
如果没时间等我调酒
I could mix one up in your mouth.
我♥干♥脆直接倒到你嘴里
Cut it out.
你得了吧 查理
I know what you're trying to do.
你到底想干嘛
What? I'm being a good host.
怎么了 我只是尽地主之谊嘛
You're taking advantage of Danielle.
你在利用丹妮尔
No, I respect Danielle for who she is.
不 我只是想丹妮尔做她自己
So do I.
我也是啊
No, no, you respect Danielle for
不 你只想让Daniel
who she's pretending to be.
掩饰自己的真性情
I don't get you. Why did you bother
我真不懂 当初你为何要
putting us together?
费尽心思撮合我俩
Because I thought she was dull and boring like you.
因为我一开始以为她和你一样是个木脑袋
And I had hoped the two of you would go
所以我就想让你俩搬到她家
and be dull and boring at her house.
过单调无聊的生活
That was really your plan? That's insane.
这就是你的计划 难以置信
It would've worked if she wasrt a drunken slut.
如果她不是个狂放女的话 这计划就成功了
Whoa, whoa, whoa
哇 哇 哇
There is no need to fight over me.
别为我争了
Alan, you're a sweet, gentle guy.
艾伦 你是个温柔的好男人
Charlie, you're a pig.
查理 你是个猪
But I find you very attractive.
但你很迷人
There's only one reasonable solution.
所以说只有一个办法了
I'll have to do you both.
我和你俩3P吧
No crossing swords.
再好不过了
Are you out of your mind?
你疯了啊
You're? You're actually considering this?
你还真想这样
Yeah, you're right.
也对哦
I don't even like eating dinner next to you.
我连吃饭都不想和你一起吃 更何况这个了
Uh, thank you
非常感谢你
for your generous offer,
诚挚的邀请
but I'm afraid we must decline.
但我们必须拒绝
But mostly, he's afraid.
因为他怕怕了
Ah, should've known.
我就知道
Not a pair between you.
你俩不可能
All right, well, if either of you change your mind
但如果有人改变主意的话
you know where to find me.
就来找我哦
Okay, you can have her.
好吧 你去上她
"One pound salted butter. "
一磅咸黄油...
"One dozen extra-large eggs. "
一打大号♥鸡蛋...
"And one acidophilus milk for the whiny pinead. "
一瓶给猪头的乳酸菌牛奶"
I thought I was the only one who drank this stuff.
我还以为只有我喝这玩意儿呢
What?
什么啊
Ha, ha. Are you kidding me? It's all I drink.
我只喝这个
You know, for the intestinal fauna.
你知道 增加肠道...菌群
That's all you drink?
你只喝这个吗
Well, I've been known to add a few fingers of
我还会加点
vodka.
伏特加
Kind of an "acidophi-tini. "
做成乳酸菌伏特加
You're cute.
你真可爱
So I've been told.
有人说过了
I can't. I promised Berta I'd get the groceries.
不行哦 我答应贝塔帮她购物
You're right. You're always right.
好吧好吧 你是老大
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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