好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E15
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:58 p.m.
You have a Malibu beach house and you're the...
你在马里布有间海滩别♥墅♥ 而且你是...
"chiropractor to the stars."
"明星专用的脊椎按♥摩♥师"
Okay, what do you want me to call myself?
不然你要我怎么讲我自己?
Chiropractor to fat people in the valley?
专为胖子服务的脊椎按♥摩♥师?
Everybody exaggerates on these things.
每个人都会在上面夸大其辞
Okay, I can understand that.
好的 我能理解
You're probably not going to get a lot of responses to "bushy-nosed cheapskate,
如果你写的是"鼻毛很多的小气鬼 喜欢散步去吃免钱的"
enjoys long walks to a free meal."
那大概没人会理你
Exactly.
完全正确
Hey, you're going out tonight, aren't you?
你今晚要出门 对吧?
Why?
为什么?
Well, I met a woman on this dating site
我在这个交♥友♥网♥站认识一个女的
and she's here and it would be good if...
她会来这里 然后我希望你...
you weren't.
不在这里
You're throwing me out of my own house?
你要把我赶出我自己的家?
Well, no, if you read the profile, it's my house.
哦 不 如果你有看我的简介 这是我的房♥子
See?
看见没?
Coming!
来了!
Be right there!
马上来!
Please play along.
求求你合作
You're going to play along, right?
你会合作 对吧?
I guess we'll find out together, won't we?
我想我们一起来找答案 可以吗?
Alan, hi.
艾伦 嗨
Beverly, it's so great to finally meet you in person.
贝弗利 很高兴终于能亲眼见到你
Hi.
嗨
Hello.
哈啰
Oh, this is Charlie.
哦 这是查理
Oh, right, your poor brother.
对哦 你那个很贫穷的哥哥
Hi, Charlie.
嗨 查理
How are you?
你好吗?
Mmm, you smell nice.
恩 你闻起来好香
Okay, okay, come on in.
好的 好的 请进
Oh, my,
天啊
what a beautiful home.
好漂亮的房♥子啊
Thank you. Thank you.
谢谢 谢谢
I encourage him to think of this place as his own.
我鼓励他把这里当成自己的家
Yeah, that way, I don't feel like such a worthless parasite.
是啊 这样我才不会觉得 我是只没用的寄生虫
Charlie, weren't you going out tonight?
查理 你今晚不是要出去吗?
Gee, I'd love to, but you know me, flat broke again.
我很想 但你知道我已经完全破产了
Oh, well, I suppose I could float you a few bucks.
哦 好吧 我想我可以给你一些钱
What do you need?
你需要多少?
$400.
400块
Okay. Okay.
好的 好的
You know, I'll... I'll just give you everything I have.
你知道 我...我把身上有的全给你
Uh... that's 31, 32... $33.
呃...这里有 31 32...33块
What about the secret compartment?
暗袋里面呢?
All right.
好吧
That'll be a, uh...
那就是有 呃...
$133.
133块
And I don't expect to see you again tonight.
我今晚不想再见到你
Thanks, bro.
谢谢 老弟
Be nice to him; he's all I've got.
对他好一点 他是我的全部
Sorry about that.
很抱歉
I understand.
我了解
I have a sister who's a crack whore.
我有一个妹妹是吸毒妓♥女♥
Really?
真的吗?
Maybe we can introduce them.
也许我们可以介绍给他认识
For $133, we can introduce them twice.
有133块 都可以介绍两次了
Terrific.
了不起
Well, here we are.
那么 我们在这里了
We sure are.
的确是
I guess you've noticed
我猜你已经注意到
I'm a little taller than five-nine.
我比五尺九吋还高一点
Well, yeah, but everybody fudges a little on those dating profiles.
是啊 不过每个人多少都会在简介上说谎
How tall are you?
你多高?
Five-thirteen.
五尺十三吋 (应该说六尺一吋 约185公分)
Leanne, tell me something,
Leanne 告诉我
is it just me or is the crowd in here getting younger?
是只有我 还是这里的人都变年轻了?
No, the crowd's the same age it's always been.
不 这里的人年纪都跟之前一样
You, on the other hand, are not.
至于你嘛 是例外
I'm not old.
我并不老
40's the new 30, right?
40岁就跟30岁一样 不是吗?
Not the way you live, pal.
对你来说不适用 老兄
Yeah, well, guess what?
是哦 好吧 你猜怎样?
Not tipping is the new tipping.
不给小费就跟给了一样
I gotta do more drinking at home.
我应该在家里多喝点
You didn't call.
你没打给我
Did you follow me here?
你是跟踪我来的吗?
Please. If you're not home and you're not on a date,
拜托 如果你不在家 又不是去约会
where else would you be?
那你还会去哪里?
And, yes, I followed you here.
然后没错 我是跟踪你来的
There's something I need to tell you.
我有事情要告诉你
What can I get you?
你想要什么?
Grain alcohol, please.
纯酒精 谢谢
We don't have grain alcohol.
我们没有纯酒精
Okay, just a Sprite.
好 那来杯雪碧
What do you want, Rose?
你想要什么 萝丝?
I don'want anything.
我什么也不想要
I st have some news to share with you.
我只是有件消息想和你分享 (News也有新闻的意思)
Is this CNN kind of news,
是CNN的那种新闻
or something you heard from a friendly blue jay with a top hat and a cane?
还是你从那只戴了大礼帽 拄了根拐杖 亲切的冠蓝鸦那听来的?
If you recall, that was a crow,
如果你仔细回想 那是只乌鸦
and he was wearing a derby and safety goggl.
而且牠戴的是圆顶窄边礼帽 和护目安全眼镜
And I've admitted that was a medication issue.
而且我已经承认那是吃药的关系
Fine, whatever. What's the news?
好吧 随便 什么消息?
Well, my family has business interests in London,
我的家人在伦敦有事业
and I'm going to move there and take a job.
而我准备搬去那里工作
Oh, terrific.
哦 了不起
So will you be running the chocolate factory?
所以你会经营巧克力工厂吗? (电影名称)
Did the OompaLoompas drop the ball?
OompaLoompas是不是又犯错了? (电影里的侏儒)
Charlie... The little bastards went union, didn't they?
查理... 那些小家伙又联合起来了 对吧?
Oh,I'm going to miss that good-natured cynicism.
哦 我会很怀念你这种没恶意的 冷嘲热讽
You're probably wondering why I decided to leave.
你大概会想知道为何我决定要走
Actually, I was wondering what possessed them
事实上 我想知道的是 要怎么掌控他们?
Gene Wilder was perfect.
Gene Wilder真是太完美了 (1971年版巧克力工厂的主角)
I'm leaving because I'm not getting any younger
我选择离开是因为我不再年轻
and our relationship isn't really progressing along the path I'd hoped for.
而且我们之间的关系 并没有照着我希望的路线发展
Rose, there is no relationship.
萝丝 我们之间没有关系
There is no path.
也没有什么路线
How very Zen of you.
学佛的才会这样讲 (一切都是空)
I'll always love you, Charlie.
我会永远爱你 查理
But this is best for both of us.
但这样做对我们最好
Yeah. Right.
是啊 没错
Okay, well, have a good trip.
好的 祝你旅途愉快
Say hi to the Queen... of Hearts.
记得向红心.......女王问好 (艾丽斯梦游仙境里的女王)
Is your friend leaving?
你朋友要走了吗?
Nono, she never leaves.
不 她永远不会走
She's probably climbing into the trunk of my car as we speak.
趁我们在讲话时 她大概已经躲进我车子的行李箱了
Hey, maybe you should follow me home to make sure I'm safe.
嘿 也许你应该跟踪我回家 确保我是否安全
I don't think my husband woulapprove.
我不认为我丈夫会同意
When did you get married?
你几时结婚了?
Shortly after the last time I woke up in your bed
就在我上次在你床上醒来
with cab fare taped to my forehead.
额头上还黏着出租车费后不久
I suddenly realized how empty and soulless my life had become.
我突然了解到 我的生活是如此的空洞 了无生气
Thank you for that, by the way.
对了 我还得感谢你呢
Happy to help.
很高兴有帮忙到
How are you doing tonight?
你今晚过的好吗?
Oh, gee, I'm sorry, sir.
哦 非常抱歉 先生
I don't have daddy issues.
我没有恋父情结
And then, a week before we were getting married
然后就在我们要结婚的前一个星期
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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