好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E14
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:57 p.m.
We should take this young lady to dinner.
艾伦 我认为我们应该 带这位年轻的女士去吃饭
But I was planning on warming up the pot roast from Sunday night.
但是我今天还要做周日的烤肉呢
The pot roast will keep.
烤肉又跑不了
I don't know, it's right on the edge.
那可说不准 快过期了
Forget the pot roast.
别说烤肉了
So, what do you say? We could walk up the beach
你觉得如何 我们可以在海滩上散步
to Georgio's and grab a bite.
然后去Georgia's餐馆吃点东西
That sounds wonderful.
真不错
Let me throw on some clean clothes.
我先换身衣服
Terrific.
太棒了
All right, I will be right back.
好的 我马上就好
Ah, ah?
怎样 怎样
She's incredible.
她太棒了
Incredible, my ass.
棒你个头
She's perfect.
她简直就完美无缺
Okay. A couple of pointers. Ahem.
我给你一点小提示
First off,
首先
you never open with gassy. I know.
你别提"打嗝儿"了
I know that. It just came out.
我知道 忍♥不住嘛
It's all right, it's all right.
没事儿没事儿
No permanent damage. Mm.
不会有太大问题
Now, what's gonna happen here is
现在我的计划是
I'm gonna bail on dinner
吃饭前我会开溜
so you two can be alone.
这样你俩就能独处了
Really?
真的啊
Because Georgio's is kind of pricey.
但Georgia's餐馆还蛮贵的呢
Ah, jeez. Here.
我的天哪
Tip big.
给你 记得多给点小费
Don't agonize over the math.
别斤斤计较
I don't agonize.
我从来不斤斤计较
I just take the sales tax and double it,
我只是计算一下消费税然后乘以二
which is roughly 15 percent.
差不多给15%就行了
Unless the service is less than impeccable,
当然如果服务不周到
in which case, I leave a flat $5.
我就只给五块钱
Alan, it's my money, go crazy.
艾伦 这是我的钱 你随便花吧
Fine. Eighteen percent it is.
好 那给18%
Now, dinner conversation.
还有 吃饭时说的话题
Don't talk about your boring job, your petty problems,
别说你那无聊的工作 你没救的毛病
or your stupid hobbies.
还有你愚蠢的爱好
What else is there?
那还有什么可说的
Her. Her petty problems, her stupid hobbies.
她的毛病 她的爱好
No woman ever came home from
女人们就喜欢
a date complaining that all she did was talk about herself.
在约会的时候大谈特谈自己的生活
Oh, that's good.
那好吧
And that way, I remain an enigma.
这样我就能成为谜一般的男人
Yeah, let's call you an enigma.
好吧 就这样吧
Alrighty. So do I look okay?
好了 我还行吧
You look beautiful, fantastic.
你很漂亮 太美了
Right, Alan?
是吧 艾伦?
Welcome.
欢迎
Okay, ahem, let's go.
好吧 我们走吧
All right, let me just lock up.
我先锁门
Oh, no.
哦 不...
What do you mean, you have to go?
你为什么要先走
I mean, uh, what's wrong?
呃...我是说 怎么了
I just remembered I have some work I need to do.
我刚想起来我有点工作要做
Oh, no.
哦 不
Oh, what a shame.
真可惜啊
Maybe we should do this another time.
那我们下次吧
No, no. No, no.
不 不
You go ahead, enjoy yourselves. Are you sure?
你俩去吧 好好玩 你确定
He's sure. Let's go. Okay.
他确定了 我们走吧 好吧
See you later, Charlie.
一会儿见 查理.
So, Danielle, you got any hobbies or problems?
丹妮尔 你有什么爱好和毛病吗
Yes, I know she's hot.
我知道 她很火♥辣♥
But I'm thinking long-term, so shut up.
但我在为长远着想 所以你闭嘴
Hey. Hey,
嘿 嘿
where have you been?
你去哪儿了
Stuck in traffic.
堵车了
Danielle's coming over in a few minutes.
丹妮尔等会就过来
Gotta shower and change.
我要洗个澡 换衣服
Wow, you two are going out again?
哇 你俩还要出去约会
What can I say, Charlie?
怎么说呢 查理
The girl digs my mojo.
这女人感受到了我的魅力
When did you get mojo?
你什么时候开始有魅力了
Scoff if you like,
随你怎么说
but that woman is entranced
这个女人已经完全为我-艾伦 杰罗姆 哈珀
by the enigma that is Alan Jerome Harper.
谜一般的男人给折服了
Unbelievable. Your plan is working.
难以置信 你的计划居然成功了
Told you.
我早说了嘛
There's something wrong with that girl.
这女人肯定有毛病
There must be a lot wrong with that girl.
毛病还不小
Well, then it's a match made in heaven.
他俩那就是天造地设的一对儿了
There's something wrong with her.
她有毛病
We know there's something wrong with him.
我们也知道他也有毛病
Yeah, and before you know it, he'll move out, t
但在你发现她的毛病之前 他会搬出去
hey'll get married
他俩会结婚
and we'll be wondering what's wrong with their kids.
到时我们就等着看 他们的孩子有什么毛病吧
Hey, Charlie.
嘿 查理
Hey, Danielle. Come on in.
嘿 丹妮尔 进来吧
Thank you. Oh, man.
谢谢 天哪
If the kid wants to kill me,
这孩子如果想杀了我
why doesn't he just cut my brake line?
为何不干脆弄坏我的刹车算了
Alars in the shower.
艾伦在洗澡
Am I too early?
我来太早了
No, no. No, he's been living here for three years.
不不不 他已经等这一时刻等了三年了
You want a drink?
你要喝一杯吗
Uh, no, thank you.
不用了 谢谢
I'm trying to cut down.
我在戒酒
Really? Why?
真的啊 为何
Long story.
说来话长
Alan takes long showers.
艾伦洗澡也要很长时间
Longer when he's not dating.
如果不约会洗得还长些
Thank you, Berta.
谢了 贝塔
So tell me your story.
来说说你的情况吧
Oh, it's a little embarrassing.
这挺难为情的
Hey, all the good drinking stories are.
喝醉后的故事都很难为情
After partying
一晚狂欢之后
at the Pomona State Fair,
在Pomona集市
I once woke up on a Tilt-A-Whirl wearing nothing but
我醒来发现自己只穿着
a grass skirt and a tiny sombrero.
草裙和小款边帽
No kidding?
真的啊
Ha, ha. I've still got the sombrero.
那帽子我还留着呢
Okay, your turn.
好了 你呢
Oh. All right. Um
我...
The reason my marriage didn't work out
我离婚...
the reason none of my relationships work out
我谈恋爱都没成功的原因是
is because I tend to drink a little too much
我酗酒
and then do things I regret.
然后喝醉了会干一些令我后悔的事情
And by "things" you mean?
比如说...?
Men.
乱搞男人
Huh.
哦
And the occasional woman.
偶尔还搞女人
Huh.
哦
Well, as stories go, I'd say this is a good one.
听起来不错
At least yours doesn't end with
至少听起来
a toothless carny offering you a churro.
比我还是正常些
You know, I had a feeling you'd understand.
我就知道你能理解我
You know, Alan is very sweet.
艾伦是个好人
But the guys I usually go for are more like...well, you.
一般和我约会的人都...和你一样
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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