我是僵尸

iZombie S01E08

Part 4 May 1, 2020, 3:02 p.m.

by their ex-lovers comparing notes on the radio.
对除非你的记录都是...
Yeah, unless all of your notes are just,
你懂我的意思了吧
You know what I mean?
我只担心她那小小的演播室
I was just worried she wouldn't be able
能不能装下我那么多的前任
to fit 'em all into the studio.
如果我要吐在你的垃圾桶里
If I'm gonna puke in your trash bin,
我是不是还得吐过篮球框
do I need to go through the basketball hoop?
我♥干♥吗要在意他们抹黑我
What do I care if one of them said something bad?
我们都知道女人在被蹬掉以后会干些什么
You and I both know how women get when you kick 'em loose.
-你蹬了不少女人 -再也不会了
- You kicked a lot of women loose? - Not anymore.
我现在是个幸福的有妇之夫
I'm a happily married man now.
这是我老婆
That's my girl.
离我丈夫远点荡♥妇♥
Stay away from my husband, whore!
她不是水晶灯上最耀眼的灯
She's not the brightest bulb in the chandelier,
但她之前是个体操运动员
but she is a former gymnast.
跟斗翻得棒极了
Power tumbler.
当你妻子发现你和萨莎有一腿的时候
When your wife found out you were sleeping with Sasha,
她有火大到想杀之而后快吗
was she mad enough to kill her?
分手太难
萨莎和我约过几次
Okay, Sasha and I bumped uglies a couple times,
但我身边可不止我一个约仇恨炮的人
but I'm not the first guy to have a little hate bang on the side.
但你有个愤怒的妻子和死去的情人
No, but you're a guy with an angry wife and a dead lover.
你认为奥莎娜就是那个查塔努加
You think Oksana is this Chattanooga chick?
她是个邮购的新娘
She's a mail-order bride.
她最多会说50个单词
She speaks maybe 50 words of English.
她连点杯咖啡都不会
The woman could barely order a cup of coffee,
更别说还要装南方口音了
let alone fake a Southern accent!
昨晚9点半到9点45你在哪
Where were you yesterday between 9:30 and 9:45?
在电台上大谈妙手名妓
Talking about ambidextrous hookers on the radio.
我很乐意提供的一项公共服务
It's a public service piece I like to do.
我得失陪了
If you'll excuse me,
得在新闻开播前42秒空档去下洗手间
I've got 42 seconds to take a leak before the news.
不管怎么说我觉得他老婆并没有洗脱
For what it's worth, I don't think his wife could've passed
她就是查特努加的出轨的嫌疑
for Cheated On In Chattanooga.
或许是"车♥臣♥的出轨"[音似]
Maybe "Cheated On In Chechnya."
那也不意味着就是她杀了萨莎
That doesn't mean she didn't kill her.
我去查查她
I'll check her out.
那些漂白剂在你需要的时候都去哪儿了
Where's a vat of bleach when you need one?
你好
Hello?
你没来和我一起吃午饭
So you missed our lunch date.
最近身边的事情有点疯狂
Things have been kind of crazy,
我会补偿你的好吗
but I'll make it up to you, okay?
天哪梅杰你的脸怎么了
Oh, my God. Major, what happened to your face?
说来话长
It's a long story.
我...我撬了一个人的车里
I... I broke into a guy's car.
然后警♥察♥把我和一群飞车党关在一个牢里
Then the cops put me in a cell with these bikers and...
-没关系的 -关系大了
- Whatever, you know, it, it doesn't matter. - It does matter!
为什么你在看大脑的图片
Why are you looking at pictures of brains?
算了别回答了
You know what? Don't even answer that.
和你在一起时我想要的可不是这些
This is so not what I signed up for.
-我最近... -你老是打架
- Look, I, I know I've been... - You keep getting into fights.
你刚刚才被逮捕
You just got arrested.
你要和那个所谓的毒糖人对抗到底吗
You are in a running battle with someone known as the Candyman?
搞什么啊
What the hell?
你曾经是帅气和幽默的完美结合
You were the dream combination of superhot but funny
你现在就像一个不怎么洗澡的疯子
and now you're like some whackjob who doesn't shower enough.
你听我解释...
If you give me a second to explain...
你需要帮助
You should get some help.
游戏之夜泡汤了吗
I take it game night's off?
英雄到来
Enter the hero.
怎么闷闷不乐的好朋友
Why so glum, chum?
我不干了
I can't do this anymore.
转移那些孩子的尸体太难受了
Moving those kids' bodies, it was too much.
精神上的还是... 因为身体上
Emotionally, or... because physically,
应该对你来说不算难骨头能有多重
it shouldn't've been that hard. How heavy are your bones?
见鬼听我说
Damn it, you listen to me!
你现在越来越放肆了
You're not even trying to be careful anymore.
尸体堆积如山
The bodies are piling up,
你就指望我把它们弄消失
and you just expect me to make them disappear.
"我抓着你的小辫子了"里面哪个字
What part of "Me having you by the short and curlies"
你不明白
don't you understand?
我就是你的饭票
I'm literally your meal ticket.
我知道但是...
Oh, I understand that, but...
你想干嘛
What're you gonna do?
你想偷偷跑进拘留室一周开几个脑子
Are you gonna mosey down to the holding cell and pop open
希望没有人发现吗
a couple of craniums a week and hope nobody gets wise?
别搞得像你有什么选择一样
Stop acting like you have options
我说什么你照做就是了
and just do what I tell you to do.
在法医部有个女孩
There's a girl in the M.E.'s office.
肤色惨白
Pale.
看起来她也像是僵尸
Looks like she plays for Team Z.
是的我很了解她
Yeah, I know all about her.
她在这一切中发挥着特殊作用
She has her own special role in all this.
你该提前跟我说一声
It would've been nice to get a heads-up.
不好意思了亲爱的
I'm sorry, dear.
你知道我这人一向不擅交流
You know how I struggle with my communication skills.
赶紧出去干好你的工作
Now, run off and do your job.
保护和效力于...
Protect and serve...
我
Me.
那家伙是个恶霸你就在那被动承受着
The guy's a bully, and you're just laying back and taking it.
像她的小婊♥子♥一样
Act like his bitch,
也不奢望他能把你当做女朋友
don't expect to be treated like his girlfriend.
吃这个脑子前我给别人建议时通常很温和
Before this brain, my advice-giving M.O. was gentle.
带有同情的
Sympathetic.
现在我忍♥不住想纠正别人
Now I feel compelled to fix people,
剖析别人也不管别人愿不愿意
to take them apart, whether they want it or not.
别让我放出来
Don't make me play it.
但他现在情绪稳定了而且马上变成素食者了
But he meditates now. He's becoming a vegetarian.
你自找的告诉她林奇小姐
You asked for it. Tell her, Miss Lynch.
贱♥人♥ 好好想想吧
Bitch, get a clue!
贱♥人♥ 好好想想吧
Bitch, get a clue!
萨莎抱歉我本想告诉你的我发誓
Sasha, I'm sorry! I was gonna tell you, I swear!
-萨莎 -我不听道歉我要的是忠诚
- Sasha! - I don't want apologies! I want loyalty!
当你把感情和工作混在一起
Well, any time you mix friendship and work,
事情肯定会变复杂但是萨莎和我就没事
things can get complicated, but Sasha and I were fine.
那她冲你喊向你扔东西你也不介意吗
So, you didn't mind when she yelled at you and threw things?
你也觉得没关系吗
That was cool with you?
你听说扔纸杯蛋糕的事了
You heard about the cupcakes.
是的萨莎有时候是会有点神经
Yeah, Sasha could go a little psycho,
-但是那次也算我自找的了 -为什么呢
- But that time I had it coming. - Why is that?
她发现我给其他广播台送试音带了
She found out I was sending tapes to other stations.
我是应该告诉她的但...我也不知道
I should've told her, but... I don't know, I...
我们最开始是一起主持之后萨莎走红了
We started as co-hosts, and then Sasha became this big star
而我成了她的制片人开始也还好但
and I became just her producer which was fine for a while, but...
但你不甘心只在幕后
But you would've rather been behind the mic.
这一行没有人甘心做幕后
Anybody in radio says differently, they're lying.
-有人想雇你吗 -没有
- Did you get any offers? - No. Mmm-mmm.
想让人们把台调到你的频道听你的广播
It takes a special kind of charisma
是需要一种特别魅力的萨莎就有这种魅力
to get people to tune in and listen. Sasha had it.
我也没有这种工作机会...
Judging by my lack of offers...
看来是没法知道我会怎么样了
Well, I guess we'll never know.
萨莎得知你想离开以后非常生气
Sasha was pretty angry when she found out you wanted to leave.
一开始很生气后来她就好了
Well, at first, and then she got over it
然后努力为我争取升职加薪
and started fighting for a raise for me.
然后促使我留下
To entice me to stay.
我们拿到最新出轨的
Oh, we got those last Cheated
音频文件了你要是还想要的话
audio files from archives if you still want them.
麻烦了
Please.
剥牡蛎壳的手套好好看着
Oyster shucking gloves. Observe.
拉维
Ravi!
-逗你玩是锁子甲手套 -作死吧你就
- Voila. Chain mail for the hand. -Enjoy hell.