19号消防局（2018）

Station 19 S04E04

Part 5 Jan. 30, 2021, 6:48 p.m.

That's what my dad used to sing.
我爸爸以前是这么唱的
I've been so mad at him.
我一直很生他的气
So mad at my mom for their lies, for the pain.
气他和妈妈对我说的谎话给我带来的痛苦
But seeing this, my God, this baby.
但是看到这个天啊这个孩子
What chance does she have?
她有什么机会
Two parents who hate each other.
一对痛恨对方的父母
Drugs, alcohol, misery.
毒品酒精痛苦
What's gonna become of her?
她会变成什么样
My dad did okay.
我爸爸做得挺好了
And I guess my mom kinda did okay, too,
我想我妈妈也做得还算不错
'cause she knew better than to stay.
因为她知道留下并不是最好的选择
Does this crazy lady really get to keep this baby, Travis?
特拉维斯这个疯女人真的能留下她的孩子吗?
Yeah.
是的
Yeah, she probably does.
是的她也许可以
I miss all the fun?
好戏我都错过了吗
Not much.
没错过什么
I delivered a baby. Montgomery's nose almost broke.
我接生了一个孩子蒙哥马利的鼻子差点断了
Warren crash-landed into a pile of dishes.
沃伦摔在一摞盘子上
And Hughes got clocked by a crackhead.
休斯被一个瘾君子打了
Oh. You hit him back, at least?
你至少打回去了吧
In the sense that her face hit his fist.
从某种意义上说是她的脸击中了他的拳头
Lookin' good, 19!
看着不错啊 19号♥消防署
Nobody asked for your approval, probie.
没人征求过你的认可菜鸟
What's the problem, Miller?
出什么问题了米勒
You.
你
Yeah, I gathered that.
是啊我猜到了
You reached a level most Black firefighters
你达到了大多数黑人消防员
will never sniff, let alone see.
想都不敢想的级别
And what do you do with all that success?
面对取得的这些成功你会做什么
Everything they think we do.
他们认为我们会做的一切
We have to work twice as hard just to be considered.
我们必须加倍努力才能被考虑
Well, that's not exclusive to firefighters.
并不只是消防员如此
You don't give two craps about making it harder
别再废话了你让你之后
for every other Black firefighter coming up after you!
每一个黑人消防员的日子都更不好过
Don't assume what I did or did not give a crap about!
不要以为我做了什么或没做过什么
Don't you think I'm sorry?
你不觉得我感到抱歉吗
You don't think I know what I did?
你以为我不知道我做了什么
No, I think you knew exactly what you did.
不我觉得你很清楚自己做了什么
You just did it anyway.
但不管怎样你还是做了
I stole drugs because I'm an addict, Miller.
我偷了药是因为我有瘾米勒
You have no idea what it feels like to need a drug.
你不知道需要这些药是什么感觉
You don't know my pain.
你不知道我的痛苦
Everybody here knows the pain of the job.
这里的每个人都知道这项工作所要承受的痛苦
Only one person stole drugs and lied about it.
只有一个人偷了药并且撒谎
I'm not patting you on the back.
我不是拍你马屁
I remember you at the academy, all high and mighty,
但我记得你在消防学院的时候高大伟岸刚正不阿
constantly preaching about integrity.
一直在宣扬正直有多重要
You pushed me to be better,
是你让我变得更好
and now you're just a lying, drug-stealing thief
现在你却只是个撒谎偷毒品的小偷
with a free pass to do it again.
还有一块可以继续这样做的免死金牌
I was injured, Miller!
我受伤了米勒
And you're about to be injured again, Robert,
你马上还会受伤的罗伯特
if you don't get out of my face.
如果你还不从我面前消失的话
Guys, guys, guys.
伙计们
I already got my ass kicked once today,
我今天已经被揍过一次了
but I swear I will stand between you if you try to play this out.
但我发誓如果你想把这事闹大我会阻止你们的
Think about where you are, okay?
想想你们现在在哪儿好吗
People are watching you.
大家都在看着你们
Yo, Miller, uh...
米勒
you're carrying this Sullivan thing around like an anchor.
你一直背负着对沙利文的这种介意会像锚一样
It's pulling you down.
它会把你拖下水的
Can't hear you.
听不到你说什么
You ever stop to consider what he's carrying?
你有没有想过他背负了什么
Riding mighty high on that horse, aren't you?
站在正义的至高点上可真神气是吗
Don't talk down to me, Warren.
别用高人一等的口气跟我说话沃伦
He lied.
他撒了谎
So did you.
你也是如此
He made mistakes.
他犯了错误
So did I.
我也是
Mistakes?
错误吗
We got to constantly think about what neighborhood we're in,
我们要经常想一想我们所在的是什么样的社区
what we're wearing, what we say, how we sound.
我们穿什么说什么口碑怎么样
We don't get the luxury of mistakes.
我们没有资格犯错误
Sullivan knew better. You knew better.
沙利文知道得很清楚你也一样
You're right.
你是对的
You're right.
你是对的
Everything you just said is spot-on.
你刚才说的都很对
Look, all I can offer is this.
听着我能提供的只有这个
If... If Dixon screws up, it's on Dixon.
如果如果迪克森搞砸了都是他自己的错
He's a... He's a bad apple.
他是一个他是个坏蛋
But if Sullivan screws up,
但如果沙利文搞砸了
that's on every Black firefighter in Seattle.
那要怪在西雅图每个黑人消防员头上
Sound fair to you? No.
听起来对你公平吗并不
That's exactly my point.
这正是我的观点
Just the way the world works.
这就是世界运行的方式
Yeah. It is.
是的
That doesn't mean that you have to.
并不意味着你必须这样做
Captain doesn't stack hoses.
队长不会把水管堆在一起
Only one person allowed in the gym at a time.
一次只允许一个人进健身房♥
I'm making do.
我在健身呢
That family.
那个家庭
They, uh, they remind you of the mess you grew up with?
他们让你想起你小时候的噩梦了吗
Nah. No.
不不
My dad raged and threw things, but only at the walls.
我爸爸发火扔东西但只扔在墙上
Never at us and never in front of the neighbors.
从不会砸向我们也不会当着邻居的面
I'm afraid to go home.
我害怕回家
To Carina? No.
因为卡特里娜不
God, no. Carina's a salve.
当然不是卡特里娜是我的解药
It's me. I'm afraid of how much I'm like my dad.
是因为我自己我害怕我会有多像我爸爸
My brother and I chose
我哥哥和我选择了
such opposite ways of dealing with him.
截然相反的方式与他相处
Mason buried his head in the sand, like my mom,
梅森像我妈妈一样把头埋进沙子里
and me, I just wanted to please him.
而我我只是想取悦他
I made myself into a perfect copy of my dad
我把自己变成了我爸爸的完美复♥制♥品
so that he wouldn't find a reason to be mad at me.
这样他就不会找理由生我的气了
I spent so many years
我花了这么多年
learning how to read his sighs and silences,
学习如何读懂他的叹息和沉默
the hunch of his shoulders.
他的耸肩
So many years mimicking the tone of his voice.
这么多年来模仿他的语调
I'm scared that by protecting myself from him,
我害怕因为想保护自己不受他的伤害
I turned myself into him.
却让我把自己变成了他
You are nothing like him.
你一点也不像他
And for my 13th birthday,
我13岁生日的时候
I was allowed to have three friends spend the night.
我被允许让三个朋友来家里过夜
I didn't have three close friends,
我没有三个好朋友
but some girls from the softball team came over,
但是垒球队的一些女孩过来了
and we hung out in the basement.
我们在地下室玩
We painted nails and talked about first kisses,
我们涂指甲谈论初吻
and I pretended like I only liked boys.
我假装我只喜欢男孩
And this one girl, Holly,
有个女孩叫霍莉
she went to the kitchen during the movie,
她在看电影的时候去了厨房♥
and she came back with a soda, and I freaked out.
她回来的时候拿了杯苏打水我吓坏了
I asked her where she got that because those were my dad's
我问她那是哪儿拿的因为苏打水是我爸爸的
and no one else was allowed to touch those.
其他人都不许碰
And Holly shrugged because she was 13
霍莉耸了耸肩因为她才13岁
and it was a can of soda.
那只是一罐苏打水
And then, sure enough, a few minutes later,
然后果然几分钟后
my dad came tearing down the stairs.
我爸爸从楼梯上飞奔而来
"Who drank my last soda?"
谁喝了我最后一罐苏打水
I can still feel every muscle in my body tensing up.
我仍然能感觉到我身体的每一块肌肉都在绷紧