生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S12E15
Part 1
Oct. 8, 2019, 11:09 a.m.
《生活大爆♥炸♥》前情提要
Previously on count The Big Bang Theory...
我们邀请你们来 其实还有其他原因
Uh, we sort of have another reason for asking you here.
我们想要个孩子
We want to have a baby,
但我们自己没法生
but we can't do it on our own.
等一下 等一下 等一下
Okay, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
今晚很愉快
Yeah, this has been such a nice evening.
我们在有人说出更多话之前结束吧
Let's all just stop before anyone says any more things.
莱纳德 你愿意当我们小孩的父亲吗
Leonard, would you be the father of our baby?
你开口说话了
Oh, you said a thing.
再次谢谢你们愿意答应这件事
Thank you, guys, again for agreeing to do this.
对我们来说意义十分重大
Yeah, it means so much to us.
我们也很高兴能帮上忙
Ah, we're happy we can help.
而且我们完全不觉得有哪里怪
Yeah, and we don't find it weird at all.
我们也有一点点觉得怪啦
It's a little weird for us, too.
毕竟我们的宝宝不会像扎克
I mean, instead of our baby looking like Zack,
而是会像莱纳德
it's gonna look like Leonard.
如果是女孩会像佩妮
Or Penny if it's a girl.
不 不会像...
No, no, it's not gonna look...
是啦
Sure.
但是我保证
But I promise,
我们会是很好的父母
we're gonna be really good parents.
我们知道
Oh, we know you will.
-所以下一步是什么呢 -是啊
- So, what is the next step? - Yeah.
莱纳德 我们希望你能周一去诊所
Well, Leonard, we were hoping you'd go in on Monday.
可以
Okay.
他们的人说 想要最好的结果
And they say, for the best results,
现在到那时中间 你最好不要发生性关系
between now and then, you shouldn't have sex.
抱歉啦 兄弟
Sorry, bro,
我知道5天不"那个"仿佛是不可能的任务
I know it seems impossible to go for five days without,
但我相信你能行
but I believe in you.
5天算个屁 我的最长记录是24年
Five days? My record is 24 years.
我想那也包含独自"驾驶飞机"
Uh, I think that also means no flying solo.
这样啊
Oh.
那我的最长记录是14年
Then my record is 14 years.
我们很希望有个儿子
And, well, we're really hoping for a son.
所以到时候记得脑子里多想着这件事
So just, like, keep that in mind when you're in there.
就一直想着"小男孩 小男孩"
Yeah, just think, "little boys, little boys."
还是一点都不怪异呢
Still just totally not weird.
大家好
Hello.
谢尔顿 我们这有点事情在谈
Oh, hey, Sheldon. We're kind of in the middle of something.
不会打扰太久 我就是来从书架高处
Oh, I won't be a moment. I just need to grab a book
拿一本书 而这事我完全没问题
off a high shelf, which I can do
因为我本人又高又聪明
because I am both tall and smart.
谢尔顿 给我回家
Sheldon, come home!
人家才不要你的种
They don't want to have your baby!
我不知道你是在说什么鬼
I don't know what you're talking about.
妈呀 好像有东西跑到我的眼里了
Oh-oh, dear, I think I got something in my eye.
是我犀利的蓝眼珠
My piercing, blue eye.
-谢尔顿 -行
- Sheldon! - Fine.
我也从没有过蛀牙 也没有犯过哮喘
I've also never had a cavity and I don't have asthma...
我的婚礼本来应该在这周进行
So, this week would have been my wedding
我是说如果安努跟我没决定要慢慢来的话
if Anu and I hadn't decided to slow things down.
本来我估计也会忘了这事
Oh, yeah, I would have forgotten,
但我不能退钱的飞印度机票不停在提醒我
except for those nonrefundable airline tickets to India I bought.
对不起嘛
I'm sorry.
没事 与友情相比 3千块算什么呢
No, no. What's $3,000 between friends?
反正那钱本来我估计
Yeah, I probably would've just
也就是浪费在我孩子的卫生保健上嘛
thrown it away on health care for my children.
如果你还想去 你可以飞去印度
Uh, if you still want to go, you can go to India
帮忙我老爸吃掉无法退钱的寿司啊
and help my dad eat all the nonrefundable sushi.
印度寿司吗
Indian sushi?
光想到我都感觉内♥裤♥上喷了屎 得换了
I need a change of underwear just thinking about that.
我真觉得我与她的这决定是对的
I really think we made the right decision.
同意 虽然我本来筹备好了
Agreed, although I did have
在这周末举办一场永生难忘的单身汉派对
a pretty awesome bachelor party planned for this weekend.
真的吗 有什么节目
Really? What was it?
我动用了我太空总署的关系
Well, I used my NASA connections
弄到了4张能让人体验
to get us four seats on that plane
失重状态的飞机机票
that lets you experience weightlessness.
呕吐彗星号♥吗 太酷了吧
The Vomit Comet. That is so cool.
包机价约是16万5千美金
我一直都很想体验失重状态
I've always wanted to experience weightlessness.
我人生中最接近失重的一次情况
The closest I ever came was that time
是我不小心把体重计从磅切成了公斤
I accidentally set my scale to kilograms.
他大约是136磅 也就是62公斤
是啊 本来应该会很好玩
I know, it would've been fun, but, hey,
没事 你下次要娶不太熟的女人时还有机会
the next time you decide to marry a woman you barely know.
我们还是可以去啊
We could still go.
就以好兄弟聚会的名义
You know, make it a guys' weekend.
可以啊 那我们就去吧
Yeah. All right, let's do it.
很好 就像我们以前的黄金岁月
Great. It'll be like the good old days.
你是指我们一票人又衰又饥渴还单身到死吗
You mean when we were all sad, desperate and horribly alone?
我记忆的版本比较美好
I remember it more fondly.
莱纳德 如果你脸上沾到吃的
Leonard, if you had food on your face,
你会希望我告诉你吗
would you want me to tell you?
哪里 我弄下来了吗
Where? Did I get it?
不是现在啦 是上周有沾到过
Oh, no, not now; it was last week.
我不知道到底该不该告诉你
I didn't know whether or not to tell you,
但当时大家都在盯着你看
but everyone was staring.
我就说一下 当时是这里沾到
For the record, it was right there.
沾到了榛果巧克力酱
And it was Nutella.
谢谢你全家啊
Thanks.
你看起来像榛果希♥特♥勒♥
You looked like a hazelnut Hitler.
谁想听听一个大好消息啊
Hey, who wants to hear some exciting news?
什么消息
Oh, what's up?
我给大家搞到了4张这周末上呕吐彗星号♥的票
This weekend, I got us four seats on the Vomit Comet.
"呕吐"就让我失去兴致 "彗星"二字又再失一次
Oh, you lost me at "vomit," You lost me again at "comet,"
而且说实话 你说到"大家"时我就犹豫了
and to be honest, I was on the fence at "us."
我也去不了 我岳父要从内布拉斯加来看我们
Yeah, I can't go either. Penny's dad is visiting from Nebraska,
我也有好一段时间没跟他见面了
and I haven't seen him for a while.
你们能相处得来挺好的
Oh, that's nice you guys get along.
霍华德 我有点忘了 你岳父还恨你吗
I forget, Howard, does your father-in-law still hate you?
他才没有恨我
He doesn't hate me.
他只是有些失望
He's just disappointed
我不是这星球上任何一个别的男人
that I'm not any other man on the planet.
我对本·阿弗莱克演的蝙蝠侠也是这感觉
Tht's how I feel about Ben Affleck as Batman.
这两个人不来
Well, these two are out.
好兄弟聚会周末也没戏唱了
There goes our guys' weekend.
那就改成情侣周末怎么样
Okay, so let's make it a couples' weekend.
我带安努 你带伯纳黛特
I'll bring Anu, you bring Bernadette.
我不确定妮妮会不会喜欢
I'm not sure Bernie would like it.
或许我可以邀请斯图尔特或伯特
Maybe I'll invite Stuart or Bert.
邀请伯特吧
Oh, go with Bert!
他很魁梧 看他漂浮起来应该挺有意思
He's huge. It'd be fun to watch him float around.
就像有一年梅西百货感恩节游♥行♥
Like that time the Underdog balloon
游♥行♥中的其中一个造型大气球飘走了一样
got away at the Macy's Parade.
那些是什么啊
Hey. What are those?
维他命
Oh, vitamins.
扎克想要我吃这些来提升生殖力
Zack wants me to take them to increase my virility.
扎克用了"生殖力"这词吗
Zack used the word "virility"?
他可能用的词是"鸡鸡力"
He may have said "wiener power."
我爸到了
Okay, that's my dad.
记得 千万别提任何宝宝的事情
Now, remember, do not bring up any baby stuff, all right?
别提我不想要孩子 也别提你要帮扎克生
Not me not wanting one, not you having one with Zack.
-懂了 -如果他提起 就换话题
- Got it. - And if he brings it up, change the subject
-换任何话题都行 -懂了
- to literally anything else. - I got it.
但别提剥玉米人 绝对别聊剥玉米人
But not the Cornhuskers. Do not discuss the Cornhuskers.
那是体育队伍[当地橄榄球队]吗
Is that a sports team?
没事了 你没问题
Never mind, you're good.
-老爸 -你好啊 小宝贝
- Daddy! - Hi. Hey, Slugger.
-你好啊 怀亚特 -莱纳德
- Hey, Wyatt. - Leonard.
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