生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S12E10
Part 2
Oct. 8, 2019, 11:09 a.m.
从我录下来后我就没看过
Not since the day I recorded it.
当时我刚看完电影《回到未来2》
No, I had just watched Back to the Future II,
当马蒂·麦克弗莱瞥见未来的他时
where Marty McFly gets a glimpse of his future self
我就开始想
and that got me thinking,
有一天我也许会需要自己的帮助
the day may come where I needed my help,
就像那部电影一样 烂得不帮不行
like they did with that movie. That was not great.
好了 接好了
Okay, all hooked up.
开始吧
Here we go.
看看你小时候多可爱啊
Oh, look how cute you were.
艾米 可爱是自然的 看我现在就知道了
Amy please, of course I was cute. Look how I turned out.
你好 谢尔顿
Hello, Sheldon.
你好 谢尔顿
Hello, Sheldon.
如果你正在播放这录像
If you're watching this,
我猜你一定遇到很糟糕的事
I assume something bad has happened.
倒霉至极又出人意料的事
Something unfortunate and unforeseen.
甚至让你开始怀疑人生
Something that's making you question everything.
瞧我聪明吧
I'm so smart.
现在我要确认一下观看这个录像的是你本人
Now just to make sure it's really you watching this
而不是冒名的骗子 我现在脑子里在想什么
and not an imposter, what am I thinking of?
数到三说出来
On the count of three.
One, two, three.
-机器猴子管家 -机器猴子管家
- Robot monkey butler. - Robot monkey butler.
很好
Okay, good.
我让你俩单独待一会吧
Should I leave you two alone?
不 很有教育意义的 你应该看看
No, this is gonna be inspiring. You should watch.
谢尔顿 不要忘记
Sheldon, never forget,
不管事情看起来有多糟糕
no matter how bad things seem,
你永远都...
you can al...
怎么回事 怎么了 不要啊
What? What... No. N...
我爸爸用这盒带子
My dad taped over it
去录他那些白♥痴♥高中橄榄球赛了
with one of his stupid high school football games.
我很遗憾
Sorry.
算了 无所谓了 什么都无所谓了
You know, it doesn't matter, nothing matters.
我能帮你做些什么吗
Is there anything I can do?
可以呀 你造一台时光机
Yes. You can build me a time machine
让我穿越回去 劝年幼的我趁早放弃吧
so I can go back and tell my younger self to give up,
因为世上一切都不会遂了他的意
because nothing's gonna work out the way he wants.
我本来是想帮你弄碗上好叶子汤
I was thinking a nice cup of leaf soup.
这是什么呀
What's all this?
你的魔术器材呀 从车♥库♥翻出来的
Your magic tricks from the garage.
你的魔杖 你的大礼帽和里面的填充老鼠玩具
Your wands, your top hat with the stuffed mouse inside.
我没有填充老鼠玩具呀
I never had a stuffed mouse.
好 还是别戴这帽子了
Okay, do not wear this hat.
怎么都搬到客厅来了
Why is it all in the living room?
因为我觉得伟大的霍迪尼
Because I think The Great Howdini
应该成为魔术城♥堡♥的一员
deserves to be a member of the Magic Castle.
你真好 不过我已不是从前的我了
That's sweet, but I'm not that guy anymore.
我已经长大了
I've outgrown it.
有吗
Have you?
我知道你心里还渴望这些 我可以帮助你
Look, I know you still want this, and I can help you.
我小时候参加的那些选美活动
All those pageants I did as a kid--
我可以教你如何展示自己
I could teach you how to present yourself,
和评委建立互动 给对手下眼药
connect with the judges, sabotage the competition.
等等 不可以暗算别人
Whoa, whoa, no one's sabotaging anybody.
当然不是暗算
Of course not.
穿礼服裙的小女孩摔倒可是常事
Little girls in ball gowns trip, it happens.
相信我 我会像我妈一样
Trust me, I'm gonna be the pageant mom to you
扮演你的选美妈妈
that my mom was to me.
我以为你不喜欢你妈♥逼♥你比赛的事呢
I thought you hated your mom for making you do that.
再说这样的浑话 晚饭你就别吃了
More talk like that and you're not getting any dinner.
多神奇呀 回忆蜂拥而来
Amazing how it all comes back.
在
Yes?
-你好 妈妈 -你好 贝弗利
- Hello, Mother. - Hey, Beverly.
你好 莱纳德 你好 佩妮
Hello, Leonard. Hello, Penny.
你们有什么事要来烦我呢
To what do I owe this call?
我需要你专业的建议
I need your professional advice.
我很愿意帮助你 亲爱的
Well, I'd love to help you out, dear,
但我现在非常忙
but I'm very busy at the moment.
也许我们可以约个下周的时间
Perhaps we can schedule a time next week.
是有关谢尔顿的
It's about Sheldon.
那我想
Oh, well, I-I suppose
我可以空出几分钟
I can spare a minute or two.
你刚才不是说你很忙吗 可是...
Wh-Why did you just say you're too busy, but...
莱纳德 拜托 不是任何事都围着你转
Leonard, please, not everything is about you.
佩妮 说吧
Penny, go on.
自从他的论文被推♥翻♥后
Well, ever since his paper got disproven,
他一直郁郁寡欢
he's been a wreck.
他既悲伤又气愤
He's been sad and... and angry.
整个人像是废掉了
He just seems kind of broken.
听起来他正处于沉痛哀悼中
Well, it sounds like he may be grieving.
真的吗 为了一个理论
Really? Over a theory?
当然 你可以哀悼任何一种情感上的失去
Of course. You can grieve over any emotional loss.
你越在意一件事
The more you care about something,
失去它的伤痛就越明显
the greater the trauma of losing it.
老天 他特别在乎这件事
Oh, boy. He cared about this a lot.
我们能为他做些什么吗
Yeah. What can we do to help him?
哀悼是一种过程
Well, grieving is a process.
每个文化都有自己的仪式和传统
Every culture has its own rituals and traditions
来表达哀悼
to facilitate mourning.
远古的埃及人有他们的木乃伊
The ancient Egyptians had their mummification,
藏族同胞有天♥葬♥的传统
the Tibetans had their sky funerals...
我小时候养的狗死了 我妈让我坐下来
And when I was little and my dog died, my mom sat me down
非常温柔地告诉我她希望
and very gently told me that she wished the truck
那辆卡车压死的是我爸
had hit my dad instead.
我那是为了逗你开心
I was trying to lighten the mood.
你的狗不是刚死了吗
Your dog had just died.
霍华德和我一直在排练他的试演
Howard and I have been working really hard on his audition,
所以能让其他人来点评一定很有帮助
so it'll be helpful to get another set of eyes on it.
作为一个看过无数集
Well, as someone who has watched every episode
《美国达人》的观众
of America's Got Talent,
我对于真正的美国达人
I'm getting pretty good at telling
是非常有鉴赏力的
when some American's got talent.
真的
Seriously,
海蒂和我90%情况下都意见一致
Heidi and I agree, like, 90% of the time.
好了
All right.
不要害怕 尽管直言不讳
Don't be afraid to be brutally honest.
就像我参加选美时 我妈说过
Like my mom used to say when I was doing pageants,
"泪花只会让你的眼睛更加闪亮"
"Tears only make your eyes sparkle brighter."
这句话又残酷又在理
That is both sad and true.
我网上一半的照片都是大哭之后拍的
Half my Instagram is after a good cry.
华仔 你好了吗
Howie, you ready?
好了
Yeah.
有请伟大的霍迪尼出场
I now present The Great Howdini.
♪ 我的魔法 为你绽开 ♪
♪ I've got magic to do, just for you ♪
♪ 见证奇迹 不要眨眼 ♪
♪ I've got miracle plays to play ♪
♪ 好戏开幕 我心永远 ♪
♪ I've got parts to perform, hearts to warm ♪
♪ 风风雨雨 迎头而上 ♪
♪ Kings and things to take by storm ♪
♪ 让我们一路洒下 ♪
♪ As we go along our ♪
♪ 欢乐 ♪
♪ Way. ♪
你好 我是来自加州阿尔塔迪纳的伟大的霍迪尼
Hello. I'm The Great Howdini from Altadena, California.
我是家中的独子
I have no brothers or sisters
我最喜欢的食物是烤奶酪
and my favorite thing to eat is grilled cheese.
魔术什么时候开始
When does the magic start?
魔法已经开始了
It already started.
你们还好吧
Hi. How are you guys doing?
进步了一点 不管你信不信
A little better, if you can believe it.
谢尔顿
Sheldon?
走开啦
Go away.
老兄 别这样 让我们帮助你吧
Buddy, come on, let us help you.
唯一能帮我的人已经被
The only person who could help me was erased
梅福德高中的群狼队洗掉了
生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory
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