生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S12E02
Part 3
Oct. 8, 2019, 11:09 a.m.
其实不用看 我直接拒绝
Actually, it doesn't depend. Just no.
我在试跟德妮丝约会要用的新古龙水
I'm trying out some new colognes for my date with Denise.
所以你就直接到我跟前
Oh, and you just came over here
炫耀你跟妹子有约会吗
to rub it in my face that you have a date?
不是
No.
我来找你是因为我需要建议
I came over here because I need advice,
而你是我认识的人里 跟最多妹子约过会的
and you've gone out with more women than anybody I know.
我想你说得对
Huh. I guess you're right.
谢尔顿最聪明 霍华德最幽默
Sheldon's the smart one, Howard's the funny one,
而本公子 很明显是最花的
and apparently, I'm the ladies' man.
那莱纳德呢
Which one's Leonard?
对哦
Oh, yeah, right.
莱纳德应该是最没存在感的
I guess Leonard's the forgettable one.
好 我来闻一下
Okay, let's have a whiff.
闻起来像帕高·拉巴纳牌的香水
Hmm. Smells like Paco Rabanne.
你真厉害 我在跳蚤市场买♥♥的
Ooh, you're good. I bought it at a swap meet.
名字就叫"闻起来像帕高·拉巴纳的香水"
It's actually called "Smells Like Paco Rabanne."
很好 她会喜欢的
It's great. She's gonna love it.
但愿如此
I hope so.
我真的很喜欢德妮丝 我不想搞砸了
I really like Denise, and I don't want to screw this up.
放轻松
Hey, relax.
相信你的直觉 我就是这么做的
Trust your instincts. That's what I do.
这让你纵横情场了吗
And that works for you?
事实上 没有
Actually... no.
我把自己的人生搞得一团糟
I've made a mess of my life, and I'm...
现在孤苦无依
I'm all alone.
我最好还是假装要走开接电♥话♥吧
Okay, I think it'd be best for both of us
这样场面不会这么尴尬
if I pretend to get a phone call and just walk away.
行 这样最好
Yeah, that would be best.
你好 我是斯图尔特
Hello. This is Stuart.
抱歉 我得接个电♥话♥
Sorry. I got to take this.
当然 我乐意做问卷调查
Uh, why, yes, I'd love to take a survey.
这是我们初次相遇的地方
Okay, this is where we first met.
肯定在某个地方有线索
There's got to be a clue here somewhere.
我们坐的是那张桌子
We sat at that table.
你这是做什么
Excuse me.
抱歉 我们在寻宝
I'm sorry. We're on a scavenger hunt.
无视我们就行
Just pretend we're not here.
我找到了
Oh, I found something!
是口香糖
It's gum.
也许他们放在柜台后面
Maybe they left it behind the counter.
我和妻子在这里相遇 当时坐的就是这张桌子
I met my wife here, and we sat at this very table,
所以如果你好好表现 八年后
so if you play your cards right, in eight years,
你就可以娶这位女士
you could marry this woman.
这是我妹妹
That's my sister.
别说出来 兄妹恋可不好
Well, don't tell people. That's not okay.
谢尔顿 你看 我问咖啡师
Sheldon, look, I asked the barista
是否有人留东西给我们
if anyone left anything for us,
她让我们在失物招领箱中找
and she said to look in this lost and found box.
但为什么会在失物招领箱里
But why would it be in the lost and found box?
因为我们曾经迷失 结果找到了彼此
Because we were lost, and then we found each other.
这太有道理了
It makes perfect sense.
看这个
Oh. And look at this.
一个吊坠
A locket.
上面的石头 我打赌是石英
And that stone in front-- I bet it's quartz.
肯定是这个 这个才是真正的礼物
This must be it. This must be the actual gift.
打开 里面有什么
Open it up. What's inside?
没东西 空的
Nothing. It's empty.
当然了
Of course.
我们共同的生活才刚刚开始
Our life together is just starting,
他们希望我们用共同的回忆填满它
and they want us to fill it with our memories.
这可能是史上最贴心的结婚礼物了
This might be the best wedding gift ever.
他们还给我们送了副墨镜
They also left us a pair of sunglasses
因为我们的未来太耀眼了
because our future's so bright!
他们想得太周到了
They thought of everything!
看哈雷的画
Look what Halley drew.
她在托儿所画的
Yeah, she made it at daycare.
画得真不错啊
It's pretty good, huh?
是吗
Is it?
非犹太妈妈好严格啊
Wow. Gentile moms are tough.
两位 我要给你们看点东西
Guys, I need to show you something,
但你们得保证不能取笑我
but you have to promise not to make fun of me.
那当然
Of course.
我很担心约会的事
Yeah. I was worried about the date
所以给头发染了色 让自己更加自信
so I got my hair colored to make me feel a little more confident,
结果更显皮肤苍白 所以我去做了美黑
but that just made me look paler, so I-I got a spray tan.
你试过冲澡了吗
Have you tried showering,
看是否能擦洗掉
seeing if you could scrub it off?
试了
I did.
你们需要买♥♥新的毛巾
You're gonna need some new towels.
浴室脚垫
And a bathmat.
还有马桶座圈
And a toilet seat.
一小时后我就得去接她
I'm picking her up in an hour.
我该怎么办
What am I gonna do?!
你是不是应该说
Don't you mean what are you gonna
"你要呜巴鲁巴怎么办"
"Oompa Loompa doompety do"?
你说你不会嘲笑我的
You said you weren't gonna make any jokes.
抱歉 我不说了
I'm sorry. I'll stop.
我不会停
I won't stop.
只是喷雾美黑
Look, it's only a spray tan.
几天就褪色了
It'll fade in a couple days.
你不如取消约会 再安排时间
Why don't you cancel the date and reschedule?
但我超级期待今晚呢
Oh, but I was really looking forward to tonight.
那就去吧 把实情告诉她
You know what? Then go. Tell her what happened.
-也许她会高兴 -如果她不高兴
- Maybe she'll be flattered. - And if not,
就顺路去巧克力工厂 看那里是否招工
swing by the chocolate factory and see if they're hiring.
这不是笑话 这是真心的建议
That wasn't a joke. That was a legitimate suggestion.
喂
Hello?
老爸
Hey, Dad.
拉杰什 真是惊喜 居然在我生日时打给我
Rajesh. What a nice surprise, calling me on my birthday.
对 我就是为这事打来的
Yes. That's why I'm calling.
还有什么生日礼物比得上
And-and what better gift to give you than the gift
我满足你的期望去娶一个印度女人呢
of marrying an Indian woman, just like you've always wanted.
我的天 拉杰什 这是天大的好消息
My goodness, Rajesh, this is exciting news.
她是谁
Who is she?
你告诉我啊
You tell me.
什么
What?
我希望你帮我安排一桩婚姻
I want you to arrange a marriage for me.
我实在是厌倦了单身
I'm just so tired of being single,
我终于...我准备好成家了
and I'm finally just... I'm-I'm ready to settle down.
我不能随便打电♥话♥给一个姑娘的爸爸
I can't just call up some girl's dad
让她嫁给你啊
and make her marry you.
现在可不是2015年的世道了
It's-it's not 2015 anymore.
我知道 但我一个人结不了婚 我需要你帮忙
I know that, but I can't do this on my own. I need your help.
那我也需要你的帮助
Well, then, I'm going to need your help, too.
如果我要帮你介绍一个女人
If I'm going to find a woman to set you up with,
你就不能再在网上发你和你的狗
you're going to need to stop Instagramming pictures
穿情侣毛衣的照片
of you and your dog wearing matching sweaters.
行 为了让你看到我的诚意 我同意
Fine, if that's what it takes to show you that I'm serious.
问一下
Uh, quick question.
你是单指照片分享网 还是所有社交网...
Do you mean just Instagram, or all my social...?
全部的
All of them!
好 说定了
Okay, deal.
好 那我问你一个问题
All right. Let me ask you a question.
你觉得这个女孩怎么样
What do you think of this woman?
我的天 好漂亮
Oh. Oh, my God, she's beautiful.
这是你要给我介绍的对象吗
Is that who you're going to set me up with?
不 这是我在泡的妞
No! That's who I'm dating.
但也许她有姐姐
But maybe she has an older sister.
所以我们在里面放了我的照片
So we put a little picture of me
生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory
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