生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S12E02
Part 1
Oct. 8, 2019, 11:09 a.m.
不过我觉得到了蜜月尾声
But I think, by the end of the honeymoon,
我们真的开始有已婚夫妇感了
we really started to feel like a married couple.
是好的那种 像电视里那样
But the good kind, like on TV,
-不是像我父母 -是的
- not like my parents. - Yeah.
真正的夫妻是当你可以撒尿不关门
You're not a real married couple until you can pee
而你老婆也无所谓时才算
with the door open and she's okay with it.
我跟你说过我有所谓
I told you, I'm not okay with it.
她爱死了
She loves it.
我们给大家都买♥♥了礼物
So, we got everybody gifts.
你们是不是到机场了才想起我们啊
Did you forget about us until you were at the airport?
才不是
No.
我们是到飞机上了才想起你们来
We forgot about you until we were on the plane.
幸好飞机上有无线网
Luckily, there was Wi-Fi,
而我有网络商城高速送货服务
and I have Amazon Prime.
我❤纽约
I heart New York.
宝宝一定会很喜欢吐在这上面
Aw, the baby's gonna love throwing up on this.
听我说 这不见得只能代表纽约啊
Look, it doesn't have to just be New York.
这才是其中的奥妙之处
That's the beauty of it.
这个缩写可以代表很多你们喜爱的事物
Uh, the initials "N.Y." can stand for anything you like.
举个例子 我听说有一个
For instance, I understand that there is
知名的老年摇滚歌♥手尼尔·杨
an elderly rock-and-roll musician named Neil Young.
或许你们喜欢他啊
Perhaps you heart him.
如果对他无感 埃及银牌乒乓球手
Or if not him, Egyptian table tennis silver medalist
诺哈·亚瑟里
Noha Yossry.
也可以是山口奈奈
Or Nana Yamaguchi,
她是日本的女声优
the Japanese voice actress
曾给卡♥通♥《仙女下凡》配过音
who starred in Sally the Witch.
你上网查了有谁缩写是N.Y.的吗
Did you just Google the initials "N.Y."?
飞行时间长而又刚好有网
I had Wi-Fi and a long plane flight.
你推理推理吧
Draw your own conclusions.
两位 这礼物真是非常有心了 我...
Well, guys, that was very, very thoughtful of you. I...
你们给我买♥♥了XXL号♥的吗
Did you get me a double XL?
-我跟你说太大了吧 -你说对了 亲爱的
- I told you. - You were right, dear.
谢尔顿 感谢函不是这么写的
Sheldon, that's not how you write a thank you card.
我写的有哪里不对
What's wrong with it?
"亲爱的海伦阿姨
"Dear Aunt Helen,
谢谢您送给我们的这套令人喜爱的餐具
Thank you so much for the lovely place setting.
如果我的字迹看起来不太自然
If my handwriting looks strained,
那是因为这是我被艾米逼着写的
that is because this is the 16th thank you card
第16张感谢函
Amy has forced me to write.
我忍♥着用肌肉在抽筋的手腕
The muscles in my wrist are cramping
艰苦地写完这句子
as I struggle to finish this sentence.
哎哟 哎哟 疼死我了
Ow, ow, oh, the pain.
爱你的谢尔顿敬上"
Love, Sheldon."
行行行
Fine.
"谢尔顿与艾米敬上"
"And Amy."
这份礼物是莱纳德与佩妮送的
This one is from Leonard and Penny.
"完美的礼物赠于最完美的夫妇"
"The perfect gift for the perfect couple."
卡先留着 礼物不满意就把卡甩回他们脸上
Save that card. We may need to throw it back in their faces.
我真好奇会是什么东西
I wonder what it could be.
什么东西都有可能
Oh, could be anything.
一支长笛 一把拆信刀
A flute, a letter opener,
或是带裸女图的笔
one of those pens
把笔正着拿 墨水就会变成遮羞的比基尼
where you put the bikini back on the naked lady.
这东西不错啊
Isn't this nice?
这是什么
What is it?
你懂的 就是...
You know, it's, uh,
就是那个...
it's one of those...
不是 没作用
Nope, doesn't do that.
或许是糖果
Oh, maybe it's candy.
舔舔看
Lick it.
我才不要舔 你舔吧
I don't want to lick it. You lick it.
我才不要舔 我刚刷完牙
I'm not gonna lick it. I just brushed my teeth.
是你看的弱智科幻电视剧里的东西吗
Is it from one of your dumb sci-fi shows?
我看的科幻电视剧都不弱智好吗
Uh, none of the sci-fi shows I watch are dumb.
-谢尔顿少来 -好啦 《西部世界》弱智
- Sheldon... - Okay, Westworld.
但这跟那部剧没有任何关联啊
But this has nothing to do with that show,
唯一的关联♥大♥概就是都令人懵逼
other than it's also inexplicable.
莱纳德与佩妮是我们最好的朋友
Well, Leonard and Penny are our best friends.
他们比谁都了解我们俩
They know us better than anyone.
他们说这是完美的礼物
They said it's the perfect gift.
那我们肯定是漏了什么细节
We must be missing something.
你不会...
You don't...
觉得这是婚姻"辅助棒"吧
think it's a marital aid, do you?
别犯傻了
Don't be silly.
艾米 这根玻璃大棒哪里能辅助我们的婚姻啊
Amy, how is this big glass shaft going to aid our marriage?
你觉得当超级狗英雄在外面乱飞时
Do you think when Krypto the Superdog is out flying,
超人得拿着捡屎袋跟在它后面吗
Superman has to fly after him with a little baggie?
这点以前我还真没想过
Hmm. Haven't really thought about it before.
但超人应该不需要用捡屎袋
But he doesn't need a baggie,
他可以直接用热能光线把屎给炸了
because he just blasts the poop with his heat vision.
你以前绝对想过这件事
You've thought about it before.
其实我可常想了
Oh, I've thought about it a lot.
斯图尔特的脸出了什么问题
What is wrong with Stuart's face?
他好像是在微笑
I think he's smiling.
天啊 他们是在聊骚吗
Oh, my God, are they flirting?
他们早就过了聊骚期
Oh, they're way past flirting.
我抓到他们在谢尔顿的婚礼上亲热了
I caught them making out at Sheldon's wedding.
你确定她不是在帮他做人工呼吸吗
Are you sure she wasn't trying to breathe life back into him?
应该不是
I don't think so.
当我在心肺复苏课上伸那么多舌头时
When I used that much tongue at CPR training,
他们会逼我买♥♥下那假人
I had to buy the dummy.
我有课
Ooh, I have class.
我该走了
I should go.
好的
Oh. Okay.
-再见 -再见
- Bye. - Bye.
大家再见
See ya, guys.
-再见 -再见啦
- Bye. - Bye.
她现在是怎么样
So, what's her deal?
她是真对你有意思 还是想气自己父母
Is she into you or does she just hate her parents?
我不知道啊
I-I don't know.
我们在婚礼上亲热了一下
We kissed a little at the wedding,
感觉一切很美好
and it was great.
但之后我们没有好好谈过
But we haven't really talked about it since then.
所以我也不知道她对我有何感觉
So I-I don't know how she feels about me.
她摸了摸你的头
Well, she patted you on the head,
所以我猜她觉得你是个乖狗狗
so I'm guessing she feels like you're such a good boy!
说认真的 你们觉得我该去约她吗
Seriously, do you think I should ask her out?
必须啊
A-Absolutely.
别让真爱溜走
Don't let love get away.
爱情是世界上最重要的东西
It is the most important thing in the world.
没了爱情 生命一片黑暗且毫无意义
Without it, life is dark and meaningless and all you're left with
你剩下的就只有
is the judgmental gaze of your dog
独自在马桶上吃完零食后 你家狗鄙视的眼神
as you finish off a bag of Doritos on the toilet.
谢谢你
Thanks.
你真是个好朋友
You're a real good pal.
你现在也是乖狗狗啦
And now you're a good boy!
我无法停止想那个礼物是什么
I can't stop thinking about that present.
我快要发疯了
It's driving me crazy.
我也是
Me, too!
卡片写着那是完美的礼物
The card said it was the perfect gift.
但它不是恐龙化石也不是情侣怀表
But it's not a dinosaur fossil or matching pocket watches,
所以我看不出它如何能完美
so I don't see how it can be.
或许是我们想太多了
Maybe we're trying too hard.
它可能很简单
Maybe it's something simple.
就像他们夫妇一样头脑简单
Like Leonard and Penny.
很好 有道理
Yes, good.
我们只需要进入他们的思维
We just need to think like them.
好
Okay.
有什么礼物能送谢家夫妇
What gift can I get us
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The Big Bang Theory
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