生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S12E07
Part 2
Oct. 8, 2019, 11:09 a.m.
我不得不凶
Well, I have to be.
每个人都觉得我对他们会有求必应
Everyone assumes I'm just gonna give them whatever they want.
但你不是那样的人 对吧
Hmm. But you're not, are you?
没错 我不是
No, I'm not.
你看看这申请
I mean, look at this.
意式咖啡机 想都别想 否了
An espresso machine? I don't think so. Denied!
我还挺喜欢你这一面的
Wow, I really like this side of you.
真的吗
Really?
太杀伐果决了
Yeah, just so decisive.
那你瞧好了
Well, check this out.
站立式办公桌 不行
A standing desk. Denied!
哎呀
Oh!
如果你想站
If you want to stand,
自个儿找时间站去 我才是老大
do it on your own time, 'cause I'm the boss.
百分百的老大
Yeah, you are.
-好呀 -嘿
- Hello. - Hey.
莱纳德 我正想来恭贺你
Leonard, I just wanted to congratulate you on
-在处理拨款上做得不错 -你想要什么
- how well you are managing this grant money. - What do you want?
什么都不要 我只是表扬你一下
Nothing. I just came by to pay you a compliment.
想得美 答案是不行
Nice try. The answer's no.
不行什么呀 我什么都没找你要
To what? I'm not asking you for anything.
我工作所需的东西都在这里了
All I need for my job is right here.
这就是我的办公室 通勤特别方便
This is my office. Which makes for a great commute.
家 工作 家
Home, work, home.
我一直在上班 不过是在家上班而已
I'm still working-- I'm just working from home.
如果真的那么简单
You know, if it's that easy,
为什么莱纳德每天还得载你上班呢
then why does Leonard have to drive you to work every day?
因为我喜欢学校餐厅的冻酸奶机
Because I like the frozen yogurt machine in the cafeteria.
说到这里 我想我可能需要个冻酸奶机...
Ooh, I suppose I could use a frozen yogurt machine...
休想
Denied!
你真该看看他的样子 这个不行那个不准
Oh, you should have seen him-- denying things left and right.
实在太性感了
It was so sexy.
当然 我提了一个他无法拒绝的要求
'Course, I made a request he did not deny.
嗯嗯
Uh-huh.
你到底听没听
Are you listening to me?
听着呢 你和你老公滚床单了
Yeah, sure. You slept with your husband.
你怎么了
What is going on with you?
没什么大事
It's not a big thing.
你有没有对莱纳德撒过善意的谎言
Have you ever told Leonard a little white lie?
他以为我看过
Mm. Well, he thinks I've seen
每一部《星球大战》的电影
every one of the Star Wars movies,
但我只看过有金色机器人的那部
but I've really only seen the one with the gold robot.
-那不是每一部都有吗 -对呀
- That could be any of them. - Exactly.
过去这几天我一直骗华仔
I've been telling Howie that I've had to work late
说自己要加班 但实际上
the past couple nights, but really,
我只是躲在哈雷的游戏房♥里面
I've just been hiding out in Halley's playhouse.
我是不是很坏
Does that make me awful?
坏 不至于
Awful? No.
奇怪 肯定的
Uh, strange? Yes.
可悲 有一点
Sad? A little, yes.
我最近工作特别忙
It's just that work's been crazy,
可每次我一到家 两个孩子就缠着我
and the minute I get home, I have two kids hanging on me,
有时我希望孩子们别扯我头发 戳我肥肚皮
and sometimes I don't want babies pulling my hair and pinching my belly fat.
这对于套套公♥司♥来说真是绝好的广♥告♥词
That'd be a good slogan for a condom company.
我爱我的孩子 但属于我自己的那个小时
I love my kids, but that hour to myself
能让我重新找回做人的感觉
just makes me feel human again.
所以 你就回家独自窝在后院的游戏房♥里吗
So, you go home and sit alone in a toy house in the backyard?
没错
Yeah!
霍夫斯塔德博士 你看过
Oh, Dr. Hofstadter, did you have a chance
-我的申请了吗 -我看了
- to look over my proposal? - I did,
你的研究真是太有趣了
and your research is fascinating.
我从不知道乌鸦有那么聪明
I had no idea that crows were that smart.
他们真的会记仇吗
Do they really hold grudges?
会的 一年前有一只乌鸦
They do. One of them escaped
从我的行为研究实验中逃脱了
from my behavioral study a year ago.
虽然没法证明是他 但有只鸟天天往我车上拉屎
I can't prove it's him, but something craps on my car every day.
这笔钱只够资助一个申请
Well, l-look, I only have enough money to fund one request,
但你的要求绝对名列前茅
but your project is definitely in the running.
好吧 不过你什么时候能做出决定呢
Okay, but, uh, when do you think you might make a decision?
因为我必须在它们学会开锁之前
Because I have to upgrade their cages
升级它们的鸟笼
before they learn how to open the locks.
我今早到达实验室时
When I came in to my lab this morning,
它们突然就不叫了
they suddenly got silent.
我想它们是在密谋什么
I think they're planning something.
很快就好 我已经缩小到3个项目了
Um, soon. I've narrowed it down to three projects.
我的也在其中吗
Ooh, is mine one of them?
在的
Actually, yeah.
望远镜实验室的软件
The software in the telescope room
已经很多年没有更新
hasn't been upgraded in years,
看起来也该换了
and it seems like it might be time.
哇 哇 哇
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
你这是要把钱送给你朋友吗
So you're just gonna give the money to your friend?
我闻到了可疑[老鼠]的味道
I smell a rat.
我也研究老鼠
I work with rats, too.
你闻到的可能是我
That might be me.
我不会随手就把资金给我的朋友 巴里
I'm not just giving it to my friend, Barry.
你的计划书也在考虑范围内
Your proposal is also in the mix.
等等 最后三个候选人是他们吗
Wait, so those are the three?
你都没考虑我的计划书吗
You're not even considering mine?
只因为他们都是大博士 而我只是小工程师吗
Why, because they're PhDs and I'm just an engineer?
不 是因为他们都写了详细的计划书
No, because they wrote detailed proposals,
而你只是发了一段网上找的《甜心先生》片段
and you sent a YouTube clip of the guy from Jerry Maguire
内容是经典台词"让我赚大钱"
saying, "Show me the money!"
好了 霍夫斯塔德
All right, Hofstadter,
到底给谁
what's it gonna be?
你要选哪个项目
Which project are you gonna pick?
是啊 快决定 莱纳德
Yeah, come on, Leonard.
-现在就告诉我们 -但你记好了
- Tell us now. - But, remember,
会记仇的可不只是乌鸦而已
crows aren't the only ones who can hold a grudge.
你们三位的计划书都有很多可取之处
Look, all three of your proposals have a lot of merit.
我就是想确保 我做出的是正确的选择
I just want to make sure I'm making the right decision.
我看得出来你压力很大
I can tell you're stressed.
如果能帮到你 我撤回我的计划书
If it helps, I withdraw my proposal.
并没帮到
It doesn't help.
好吧 那我重新加入竞争
Fine. Then I'm back in the mix.
让我赚大钱
Show me the money!
好了 你们...
Okay, I-I just--
你们都别干涉我
I need everyone to back off.
这事我说了算 等我想好了自然会做出决定
I'm in charge here, and I'll decide when I'm ready to decide.
究竟什么时候做嘛
When will that be?
一天 或一周之内 我不知道
A day, a week. I don't know!
-你要去哪 -我也不知道
- Where are you going? - I don't know that either!
有人在做决定呢
Someone's making decisions.
我在重看这些计划书
I'm reviewing these proposals.
对 因为你是老大
Yeah. 'Cause you're the boss man,
所有人都听你的
telling people what's what.
老娘喜欢
I like it.
可是真的好难
It's just so hard!
这三份计划书都各有千秋
All-all three of these proposals have merit.
我该怎么选择
How do I choose?
用这娘炮声音可选不了
Well, not with that voice.
一定有基于实验证据做出的
There has got to be a right decision
正确选择
based on empirical evidence.
我做了利弊分♥析♥表
Look, I made pros and cons lists,
然后我想出了三个不同的打分系统
and then I came up with three different scoring systems
来决定哪个项目最优秀
to determine the best project.
我只是不知道该用哪个打分系统
I just don't know what scoring system to use.
于是我又用一个元打分系统
So I'm working on a meta-scoring system
来给各个打分系统打分
to score the scoring systems,
但其中的数学太复杂了
but the math is really complicated.
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The Big Bang Theory
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