生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S12E01
Part 3
Oct. 8, 2019, 11:09 a.m.
你会不会是欲求不满
Is it possible that you're sexually frustrated?
现在老娘真的暴躁了
Okay, now I'm testy.
如果你遵守我的交♥媾♥时间表
If you had adhered to my coital schedule,
现在你的大脑都漂浮在催产素的海洋里了
your brain would be floating on a sea of oxytocin right now.
别跟我聊我的大脑 我可是神经生物学家
Don't talk to me about my brain. I'm a neurobiologist.
那你就该知道大人给彼此的特殊抱抱
Then you should know the benefits of the special hug
能带来什么好处
that grown-ups give each other.
谢尔顿 大家都在听
Sheldon, everybody's listening.
他们当然在听啦 我们这么有趣
Of course they're listening; we're interesting.
不像那位仁兄
Unlike that guy.
我要走了
I-I'm walking away from you.
我才刚结婚
I'm only recently married.
我该留在原地 还是追上去 说点有用的
Do I stay here? Do I follow? Say something useful.
早上好呀 小太阳
Morning, sunshine.
我看到你在煮浓缩咖啡
So I see you're making espresso.
是的
Yup.
需要额外充电
Just need that extra jolt
才能顺利当一整天的泼妇啊
for a successful day of ballbusting.
是吗 你好像不喝也能做到
Really? I don't, I don't think you do.
你把我们跟世间最奇葩的夫妇相提并论
You know, you compared us to the strangest couple we know,
他们可是比艾米和谢尔顿
and we know Amy and Sheldon,
霍华德和伯纳黛特 拉杰和他的神经小狗还奇葩
Howard and Bernadette, Raj and his twitchy little dog.
抱歉 我不该那么说
I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.
是因为那么说不好 还是因为那不是真的
Because it wasn't nice or because it wasn't true?
那不是真的
It's not true.
福勒太太是个易怒 报复心强的女人
Mrs. Fowler is an angry, vindictive woman,
而你是如此善良暖心 温柔体贴
whereas you are warm and-and loving,
能快速宽恕别人的人
quick to forgive.
你少来
Oh, please.
我是认真的 再说我跟艾米的爸爸一点都不像
I-I'm serious. And I'm nothing like Amy's dad.
他就是个胆小如鼠 不敢捍卫自己的小男人
He's a mousy little man who can't stand up for himself.
我想说的是你不像她 所以我们不像他们
My point is you're not like her, so we're not like them.
三十年后 你会因为我很可怕
Well, 30 years from now, are you gonna hide from me
而躲起来吗
because I'm so scary?
我不觉得你可怕啊
Hey, I-I don't think you're scary.
你突然动的时候我是会缩一下 但...
Yes, I flinch when you make sudden moves, but...
那更多反映的是我的童年问题 而不是你
...that says more about my childhood than you.
轮到你了
Your turn.
等等 我先看看尼尔有没有
Hang on, I'm checking to see if Neil replied
回复我的怒怼
to my latest smackdown.
不是吧 你不觉得在推特上互怼很傻吗
Really? Don't you think this Twitter feud is a little silly?
当然不会了
Absolutely not.
这是两名备受尊敬的科学家
It's-it's two respected scientists
在公共论♥坛♥辩论相反观点
debating opposing views in a public forum.
你叫他迈克·泰森的妹妹
You called him Mike Tyson's little sister.
是啊 现在迈克·泰森也生我气了
Yeah, and now Mike Tyson's mad at me, too.
拉杰 你攻击他并不会让人欣赏你
Raj, you're not going to impress anyone by attacking him.
伯纳黛特 你口气好老人哦
Oh, Bernadette, you sound so old right now.
他说需要喘口气 他受不了我了
He said he needs a break, and I'm too much for him.
那一定不是真心话
Oh. I'm sure he didn't mean that.
他说我超级霸道
He said I'm overbearing!
才不是呢 您只是霸道得刚刚好
Oh, please, you're just the right amount of bearing.
我知道他爱你
Look, I know he loves you.
你给他点空间 他一定会回家的
If you just give him some space, I'm sure he'll come back.
你真这么想
You really think so?
真的
Yeah, I do.
你是个好姑娘 佩妮
You're a good person, Penny.
希望我们能多多相处
I hope we get to spend lots of time together.
我也是
Me, too.
-什么事 -上路吧
- Yes? - Hit the road.
-可是... -立刻滚
- But... - Now!
我能去拿我的行李吗
Can I get my stuff?
赶紧地
Be quick about it!
-你好 -你好
- Hello. - Hello.
我给你带了两个热狗
I brought you two hot dogs.
你不吃一个吗
A-Aren't you gonna eat one?
这可是从路边摊买♥♥的 你疯了吗
From a street cart? Are you crazy?
我敢用手拿着都够让我佩服自己的了
I'm amazed that I'm holding them.
我不是很饿
I'm not really hungry.
你知道我是个不太喜欢肉体接触的人吧
You realize that I'm not a particularly physical person.
-我知道 -我小的时候
- I know. - When I was little,
别人问我长大想做什么时
and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up,
我总是回答"装在罐子里的大脑"
I'd always say, "A brain in a jar."
好吧
Sure.
但我想当个好老公
Yeah, but I want to be a good husband to you,
而亲密关系是其中一环
and intimacy is a part of that.
拜托你先把热狗放下
Please put those down.
我就是担心 如果我不安排
I'm just worried that if I don't schedule
床上运动的时间表 我可能根本就不会想起
our bedroom endeavors, then I may not think about them,
你就会变得冷漠疏远
and you'll grow cold and distant
到肌肉发达的码头工人怀里寻找慰藉
and seek solace in the arms of a heavily-muscled longshoreman.
我上哪儿去找码头工人
Where would I find a longshoreman?
码头啊 写得明明白白了
Along the shore. It's in the name.
谢尔顿 除了你 我无法跟其他男人相好
Sheldon, I could never be with anybody but you.
那我就安心了
That's good to know.
我可不想跟一个
I wouldn't want to fight a man
敢摸鱼的勇士打架
who's brave enough to touch a fish.
我们互相退一步好不好
How's this for a compromise?
随你安排时间表 别告诉我就行
Make all the schedules you want, just don't tell me about them.
太棒了
Excellent.
我会自己编写一个能自动生成
I'll create an algorithm that'll generate
伪随机时间表的算法 你知道
a pseudo-random schedule. Yeah, and do you know why
为什么不是真随机时间表吗
it won't be a true random schedule?
因为生成真随机数字
Because the generation of true random numbers
在电脑科学领域仍是未解难题
remains an unsolved problem in computer science.
跟我来
Come with me.
-我们要去哪儿 -酒店房♥间
- Where are we going? - To the hotel room.
等我们到了 我要你再说一遍
And when we get there, I'm gonna need you
但你得脱♥光♥说
to say that again, except naked.
本座库博士
Go for Dr. K.
你是拉杰什·库萨帕里吗
Is this Rajesh Koothrappali?
我是 你是哪位
Yes. Who is this?
尼尔·德格拉斯·泰森
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
哎哟妈呀
Uh, w-wow.
推特上这样玩挺有意思的吧
How fun is this Twitter thing, huh?
你觉得自己很好笑吗
You think you're funny?
我没有《宋飞正传》那么好笑
I'm-I'm not Seinfeld funny,
但我做过一次开放麦脱口秀
but I did an open mic night once.
任何人都可以上台表演
你难笑到死
You're not funny.
笑笑屋酒吧的人就是这么说的
Yeah, that's what they said at the Chuckle Hut.
这样好不好
How about this:
我下周在帕萨迪纳的佛罗曼酒吧举办签书会
I've got a book signing at Vroman's in Pasadena next week.
你来当我的面 说你在网上说的那些话怎么样
Why don't you come by and say some of those things to my face.
不了不了
Oh, no,
不过谢谢邀请
but thanks for the invite.
算你机灵 下次你拿起电♥话♥时
Smart move, and the next time you pick up your phone,
记住 老子就是把冥王星踢出太阳系的人
remember, I'm the guy who kicked Pluto out of the solar system.
是冥王星活该 先生 谢谢 再见
And it deserved it, sir. Thank you. Bye-bye.
真有意思
Well, that was fun.
看看谁还需要德格拉斯式"修理"
Let's see who else needs a deGrasse kickin'.
我是《比尔教科学》的比尔·奈
Bill Nye the Science Guy.
《比尔教科学》是他知名的科教节目
比尔 我是尼尔·泰森
Hey, Bill. Neil Tyson.
我们来谈两句
We gotta talk.
生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory
剧集 | 生活大爆炸 | 导航列表