单亲

Single Parents S02E02

Part 1 Nov. 24, 2019, 3:16 p.m.

开学第一天早餐快乐
Happy first day of school breakfast!
今年的主题第二猜猜为什么
This year's theme -- Second. Guess why?
因为主题总是我要读哪个年级
Because the theme is always just whatever grade I'm starting?
并非如此学前班就是兔子
Not true. Pre-school was "Bunnies."
坐下
Now, sit.
今年
This year,
我们有斯塔基·罗宾逊
we're having Stackie Robinsons
为了纪念名人堂二垒手杰基·罗宾逊
in honor of Hall of Fame second baseman Jackie Robinson.
我跑步前喝了一杯蛋白奶昔
I had a protein shake before my run.
我5点就起床了
I've been up since 5:00.
你去跑步了
You went for a run?
独自一人在黑暗中
Alone? In the dark? ?
别紧张我在跑步机上
Relax.I was on the treadmill.
柏油马路会损伤我膝盖
Blacktop is murder on my knees.
讨厌该上路了
Yikes. Better hit the road.
是去学校的路上吧
Hit the road to school, right?
是啊我还能去哪里
Yeah. Where else would I be going?
你在广♥告♥业的高薪工作
Um, your high-powered job in advertising?
你一点也没变
You haven't changed a bit.
是啊你也没有
Yeah. Neither have you.
我们停下来喝咖啡
We stopped for coffee.
苏菲有张集点卡她下杯咖啡就免费了
Sophie got a punch card. Her next coffee's free.
然后我们全程都在听NPR新闻
Then we listened to NPR the whole ride here.
感觉就像是她
It's like she went away
去兰斯·巴斯太空营时还是个小女孩
to Lance Bass Space Camp a little girl
回来已经变成中年通勤友了
and came back a middle-aged commuter.
她让我想起了我妈
She reminds me of my mom.
格雷厄姆去了兰斯·巴斯太空营有什么变化
Did Graham change at Lance Bass Space Camp?
你自己问他
Ask him yourself.
我跟以前不一样了威尔·库珀
I'm a new man, W.C.
你看
Check it.
短袜
Ankle socks.
看到没
See?
苏菲想成为不受束缚的未成年人
Sophie wants to be an emancipated minor
格雷厄姆换了袜子
and Graham's got a sock thing.
变化无处不在
Change is everywhere.
是真的
So true.
我不知道该怎么办
I don't know how I'm gonna handle
杰克开始上学前班了
Jack starting pre-school.
好了好了
Okay.
祝你第一天过得愉快孩子
Enjoy your first day, buddy.
让我骄傲
Make me proud.
你知道这所学校有幼儿园对吧
You know this school starts at kindergarten, right?
单亲
第二季第二集
这是本
This is Ben.
他得了单核细胞增多症八月份基本卧床不起
He got mono and was bedridden most of August.
大班尼
Big Benny!
看看你晒得这个黑
Look at the tan on you!
哎呀
Ow. Geez.
有人在健身啊
Someone's been working out.
-洗手液 -当然
- Hand sanitizer. ?- Of course.
罗里·班克斯班长
Rory Banks, class president.
请告诉威尔变化是好事
Please tell Will that change is good.
好的这是基于
Okay. Is this based on
你们刚才聊的话题还是
something you were talking about earlier, or --
你知道吗我不在乎
You know what? I don't care.
威尔改变是好事
Will, change can be good.
拜托说出一个发生过的好变化
Oh, please.Name one good change that's ever happened,
你不能说黄瓜变成泡菜
and you can't say cucumbers into pickles.
各位爸爸妈妈以及第三性别家长们
Moms, dads, and non-binary life-givers,
我是95后的霍米莉·普龙斯特罗
I am Generation Z's Homily Pronstroller.
我最近卖♥♥掉了共享马匹的应用
I recently sold my horse-share app
为了我在空档年教二年级
for enough money to take a gap year
然后我会去竞选国会议员
teaching second grade before I run for Congress.
去年的班主任
Will last year's Room Parent
请举手还是举哪自♥由♥选择
please raise their hand or a limb of their choosing?
大家好
Hi, everyone.
我知道改变是可怕的好吗
Listen, I know that change can be scary, okay?
但在这个乱七八糟的世界里
But in this topsy-turvy world,
还有一个常数
one constant remains.
我将永远是你们的班主任
I am and forever shall remain your Room Parent.
明白了
Gotcha!
我让你表明身份
I asked you to identify yourself
就是为了把你从竞选中淘汰
so as to eliminate you from contention.
等着
Here.
都在山顶小学章程里
It's all in the Hilltop Charter.
章程里有没有说为什么叫山顶小学
Does it say why they named it Hilltop?
因为这里明明地势平坦
'Cause it's flat as hell around here.
通过了一项新规定
A new law has been passed.
《隔年班主任法案》
The Every-Other-Year Room Parent Act?
任何孩子的家长都不能
"No parent of any child shall be Room Parent
连任两年班主任
for a term of two consecutive years"?
所以我是一年级的班主任
So, because I was Room Parent in first grade,
我就不能做二年级的了
I can't be Room Parent in second grade?
那我再次成为班主任
So, the soonest I can be Room Parent again
最快要等三年级
is third grade?
那在接下来的365天里
So, for the next 365 days,
我不得不随波逐流
I have to drift through life purposeless,
我的身份被剥夺了
my identity stripped away
就像旧墙纸一样
like so much old wallpaper?
现在谁知道"不当"投票是如何运作的
Now, who is familiar with how a "Not it" vote works?
这很复杂所以大家要格外注意
It's pretty complicated, so pay close attention --
不当不当
Not it! ?Not it!
当当
It! It! It!
现在出场的是2019至2020年度山顶小学
Presenting your 2019-2020 Hilltop Elementary School
二年级的班主任
Second Grade Room Parent!
不不不
No, no, no! No!
不当
?Not it!
不当我刚才去卫生间了
Not it! I was in the bathroom!
我在卫生间说不当了
I said "Not it" in the bathroom,
只不过你们没听到
but you just didn't hear!
不当不当
Not it! Not it!
不是吧
Oh, no.
发生了什么可怕的政♥治♥事件了吗
Did something terrible happen in politics?
开玩笑你在等德瑞克是否回信
Kidding. You're waiting to see if Derek has written back.
而他并没有
And he has not.
我在给格雷厄姆爸爸的电子邮件里倾诉心声
I pour my heart out in an e-mail to Graham's dad
我花了整个夏天的时间来构思写大纲起草
that it took an entire summer to break, outline, draft,
编辑润色咬文嚼字检查拼写才最后发送
edit, polish, punch-up, spell-check, and finally send,
我得到什么回音吗
and what do I hear back?
没有
Nothing.
如果他回信给你
And if he'd written you back,
会让你开心还是
that would have made you happy, or...?
当然不会
Of course not.
他凭什么给我回信啊
Where does he get off writing me back?
没有人会拒绝接受
No one refuses to even entertain the idea
像你这样积极正面的想法
of a positive outcome like you.
谢谢
Thanks.
你理解我
I feel seen.
我能告诉你们一些事吗
Can I tell you guys something?
学前班要花钱而钱就是一项
Pre-school costs money, and money is the one --
实际上是五项中的一项
actually, one of the fi--
就算是二十项中的一项吧
eh, let's just say one of the 20 things I don't have.
米吉你在这里工作
Well, Miggy, you've been working here
差不多一年了取得了星星点点的业绩
for almost a year with scattered success.
所以我们可以谈谈加薪的事
So, I guess we can talk about a raise.
我想说是兴奋引起的
I would love to say excitement caused that,
但我只是手滑了
but it just slipped.
话说我可以帮米吉找份临时工作
You know, I can get Miggy a temp job,
但这意味着他在这轮班更少了
but it would mean fewer shifts here.