单亲

Single Parents S02E18

Part 2 June 24, 2020, 4:10 p.m.

We need to share a positive birth story.
-没错 -对吧
- Yes. - ?Right?
一个我们听过很多遍的故事
One that we've heard many, many times.
-天啊 -最烦的是
- God. - The worst part is how
他装作很不情愿说出来
he pretends he doesn't want to tell it.
你们真的想听吗
You really want to hear it?
你们现在应该都听吐了
I bet you guys are sick of hearing this story by now.
但就像我的治疗师经常说的那样
But I guess it's like my therapist always tells me --
别老是胡思乱想威尔
stop being so paranoid, Will!
或许他们只是太爱你了
Maybe people just love you.
你能赶紧说吗
Yeah, can you just tell it quickly, please?
我们还差四集《木槌镇》
'Cause we have four more episodes
才能看到大反转
of "Gavel Town" until the big twist.
我这辈子最紧张的经历
Most intense experience of my life.
我看不了四集了好吗
I cannot do four more episodes, okay?
我很不喜欢
I really hate it.
那是应该的
You're supposed to hate it.
如果前面不难看还叫什么反转
The twist doesn't work if you haven't suffered.
怎么了我不能喜欢反转吗
What? I can't like a twist?
好了让他说那个故事吧
Okay, can you just let him tell the story?
苏菲出生的故事
The story of Sophie's birth
就跟地球诞生的故事一样
begins as the Earth's story begins --
有光
with light.
苏菲是沐浴着晚霞出生的
Sophie was born in the glow of the sunset.
*五十二万五千六百分钟*
*Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes*
*五十二万五千次可爱的瞬间*
*Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear*
-*五十二万五千* -我威尔·库珀
- *Five hundred twenty-five thousand* - And I, Will Cooper,
-*六百分钟* -在音乐剧史
- *Six hundred minutes* - caught my baby
最棒的副歌♥中
at the precise moment of the most incredible chorus
抱住了我的孩子
in musical theater history.
*比如*
*How about*
-*爱* -爱
- *Love?* - Loooove!
*比如*
*How about*
-*爱* -爱
- *Love?* - ?Love!
*用爱来衡量*
*Measure in love*
米娅
?Mia,
看看你的女儿
meet your daughter.
宝贝
Hi, sweetie.
莎伦医院是一个充满了美和希望的地方
Sharon, the hospital is a place of beauty and wonder.
让我们带你过去吧
Let us take you there.
我还是等罗恩吧
I'll wait for Ron.
是我的安卓手♥机♥吗
Is that my Android?
-是罗恩吗 -不是
- Is it Ron? - ?No.
朋友们能来墙边碰个头吗
Hey, guys, can you meet me by the wall for a group huddle?
立刻
Now.
我觉得我们应该离她远点
I feel like we should've moved further away from her.
她就在边上呢
She's, like, right there.
罗恩终于回短♥信♥了
Ron finally texted Sharon back.
他是在富乐客
Turns out he's at the Foot Locker.
过来点
Bring it in.
他在凤♥凰♥城的富乐客
He's at the Foot Locker in Phoenix!
那很远啊
?That's far.
是啊所以我们必须
Yeah. So, we have to be
在我前夫的新任妻子产下他俩第一个孩子前
my ex-husband's new wife's emotional support system
给她一些心理帮助
during the birth of their first child.
你们陪我吗
Are you with me?
-没问题 -我喜欢分娩
- Yeah, totally. - I love births.
这些饼干含钠太高了
These crackers contain an outrageous amount of sodium.
道格拉斯
Douglas!
陪你
With you.
我很好
I'm fine.
一切都很好
Everything's fine.
没事的各位我很硬核
It's fine, guys. I have a super-strong core.
我能把孩子关在里面
I-I'll just hold the baby in.
现在罗恩过不来
Okay, now that Ron's not coming,
莎伦到底是在医院
the only thing standing between
还是在道格拉斯的沙发上分娩
Sharon giving birth in a hospital
就看我们了
and Sharon giving birth on Douglas' couch is us!
你们知道清理皮革上的胎盘有多麻烦吗
Do you know how hard it is to get placenta off a leather?
你知道
Do you?
我们可以离莎伦
Okay, can we just scooch the huddle
-远点吗 -好的
- away from Sharon? - Okay. Okay.
感谢我刚才没说出来
Thanks. I didn't want to say it back there,
但我觉得孩子父亲不需要在场
but the father isn't necessary.
你们知道萝斯生双胞胎时
Do you know what I was doing while Rose
我在干嘛
was giving birth to the twins?
产房♥等候区
-你都没进去吗 -人品太差了
- You didn't even go in?! - Your character, it's bad.
你在看船类杂♥志♥ 你是医生啊
You were reading about boats? You're a doctor!
是啊弄得好像你们很完美一样
Oh, yeah, like you all are so perfect.
安吉还烧了房♥子呢
Angie burned her house down.
好吧不过第一次不太一样对吧
O-Okay, well it's different with the first, though, right?
那赞德呢
What about Xander?
那次不一样
It was different.
产房♥等候区
你的发型听起来真酷
Your hair sounded amazing.
怎么不一样了
How was that different?
那次船类杂♥志♥换了个编辑
The boat magazine hired a new editor.
整个布局都变了
The whole layout had changed.
还是换个话题吧
You know what? I'd like to move off this topic.
罗恩要打电♥话♥了我有预感
Ron's gonna call. I just know it.
谁看到我手♥机♥了
Uh, has anybody seen my phone?
是个安卓手♥机♥
It's an Android.
我们知道是安卓的
We know it's an Android!
抱歉
?Sorry.
抱歉抱歉
Sorry, sorry.
波比又回来了
Poppy's back.
我冷静不了了
Okay, I can't keep it together.
莎伦得知道她嫁给了一个大蠢货
Sharon needs to know that she married a goofazoid
他只适合待在舞池根本处理不了危机
who's great on the dance floor, but not in a crisis!
我要去告诉她我去了
I'm gonna tell her. I'm going in.
-不不不 -红灯
- No, no, no. - Red light!
她现在已经很难熬了
She's going through a lot right now.
我很抱歉
Oh, I'm sorry.
你们和罗恩有过孩子吗
Have any of you had a baby with Ron?
他太差劲了
He's useless!
罗里当时早产了一个月
Rory was born a month early,
可罗恩在意的只是
and the only thing Ron cared about
他错过了《迷失》的季终集
was missing the series finale of "Lost."
更悲惨还在后面
And it only got more traumatic from there...
罗里出生后一个月体重都没增
Rory didn't gain weight the first month,
要待在新生儿重症监护病房♥
so he stayed in the NICU.
我抱不了他
I couldn't hold him.
我只能透过玻璃冲他笑
All I could do was smile through the glass.
看看他
Look at him.
他已经会眯眼笑了
He already knows how to smize.
他很可爱
He is very cute.
名字真有趣
Interesting name.
然后我看到了他的名字
And that's when I saw it.
黑烟怪·班克斯
当时罗恩只有一件事提交孩子的姓名表
Ron had one job -- turn in the name form.
结果他取的名字也跟该死的《迷失》季终集有关
And he made it all about that damn "Lost" Finale.
六个月以来我儿子的法定名字都是"黑烟怪"
For six months, my son's legal name was "Smoke Monster."
莎伦要知道罗恩这个人根本不靠谱
Sharon needs to know that Ron is not someone she can rely on.
或许她就能赶在胞衣掉在道格拉斯家地板之前
Maybe then she'll let us take her to the hospital
让我们送她去医院了
before Douglas' floors are covered in afterbirth.
"胞衣"说服我了走吧
Okay, you had me at "Afterbirth." Let's go.
莎伦
Sharon...
我们知道罗恩在哪
we know where Ron is.
凤♥凰♥城的富乐客
The Foot Locker. In Phoenix.
我知道
I know.
我把安卓手♥机♥偷回来了
I stole my Android back.