单亲

Single Parents S02E06

Part 4 Nov. 24, 2019, 3:16 p.m.

I hid a bottle of whiskey behind a bed back when I lived here,
现在没了
and now it's gone.
盖伊这不是真的
Oh, Guy, this is not a real pla--
还有我们怎么把钥匙谜题
And why have we given the key puzzle
给了被占领的欧洲里手最抖的两人
to the two folks with the shakiest hands in all of occupied Europe?
打开一个药柜需要几个波兰人啊
I mean, how many Poles does it take to open a medicine cabinet?
我在开玩笑其实没有
I'm kidding. But I'm not.
好好玩游戏
Alright, get your heads in the game
我们好早点离开这鬼地方
so we can get the hell out of here!
冷静威尔你看起来压力很大
Okay, Will, you seem a little stressed.
大家都玩得很开心
Everyone else here's having a good time.
但我没有好吗
Well, I am not, okay?
今天是万圣节苏菲需要我
It's Halloween, and Sophie needs me
和她一起去南瓜雕灯比赛好吗
at the pumpkin carving contest, okay?
如果她输了我得安慰她
If she loses, I have to console her.
如果她赢了我得带她去丹尼店
If she wins, I have to take her to Denny's.
听着我知道万圣节对孩子来说很重要
Look, I know that Halloween is a big night for kids.
如果你要去找苏菲你就去吧
If you need to go see Sophie, then you should go.
没人会拦着你
No one's stopping you.
我还穿着束身衣呢
I'm in a straitjacket-uh.
好吧
I see.
我得走了抱歉
I have to go. I'm sorry.
这好像是你的蛋糕
I think that was your cake.
快走快走
Go, go, go, go, go!
他们在这里
There they are!
我看起来如何
How do I look?
我来说话
Okay, yeah, I'll be doing the talking.
我才不扮酷呢我要拿出当妈的样子
I'm not gonna be cool. I'm gonna be a mom.
一个穿着劣质牛仔裤有无数规矩的凶妈
A scary mom with bad jeans and lots of rules.
孩子们
Alright, kids.
我对你们非常失...
I am very disappointed in each and every one of y--
布兰妮这是乔许吗
Britney, is this Josh?
他把阅后即焚删了
He deleted Snapchat.
亲爱的他只是藏在了文件夹
Oh, honey, he just hid it in a folder --
算了不关我事
Nope. Not my problem.
把酒还给我们否则我们就报♥警♥
Give us our booze back, or we're calling the cops.
或者更狠叫你们家长
Or worse, your parents.
你们喜欢吧
You know you want this.
跑题了安吉
Wrong track, Angie.
我们能找到你们家长知道为什么吗
And we can find your parents. You know why?
因为我们是家长家长互相之间很了解的
Because we are parents, and parents know other parents.
对了
Bing bong!
快滚
Now scram!
没错
Yeah! That's right!
这些妈妈会拿着大袋子
These moms will find you
穿着休闲鞋找到你们的
with our big bags and our sensible sneakers!
我们还会保持身材
And we keep these bodies tight!
听到没不安吉不
You hear-- No, Angie. No.
苏菲
Hey, Sophie. Hey.
很抱歉我错过了你的颁奖典礼
I am so sorry I missed you winning the contest.
我们输了你人呢
We lost. Where were you?
我以为可以去特蕾西的派对上打个招呼
I thought I could drop by Tracy's party
然后及时赶过来的
and make it back in time,
但我被套上了束身衣
but then I was thrown into a straitjacket
还被逼着和米克拉叔叔解谜
and forced to solve a puzzle with Uncle Mikolaj.
你懂的
You get it.
你为什么不告诉我你想去找特蕾西
Why didn't you just tell me you wanted to stop by Tracy's?
我应该告诉你的
I should've.
我只是想平衡一下在你们身上花的时间
I just -- I'm trying to balance my time between the two of you,
我不想让你觉得自己不是第一位
and I never want you to feel like you are not number one.
我没这么想但是如果你让我们俩亲近一点
I don't, but maybe balancing your time wouldn't be so hard
也许时间就容易分配了
if you didn't keep us so separate.
等等真的吗
Wait, really?
你愿意和我们一起吗
You'd be willing for the three of us to hang out?
嗯愿意啊
Yeah. I'd be down with that.
太好了
Cool.
我们可以一起打保龄球
Hey, maybe we could go bowling?
行吧
Yaiyse.
好吧不打保龄球想点别的
Okay, not bowling. We'll figure something else out.
跟我说说这个雕南瓜灯比赛吧
Now, tell me all about this pumpkin carving contest.
那个笨蛋罗科·里索利在南瓜上
Stupid Rocco Risoli won with a carving
雕了鲁思·金斯伯格吃肉丸然后就赢了
of Ruth Bader Ginsburg eating a meatball sub.
-什么 -太扯了
- What?! - It didn't even make sense!
这便宜货
Okay, there's no way this cheap stuff
是骗不了道格拉斯的
is gonna fool Douglas.
咱俩都拿不出六百块再买♥♥一瓶
Well, neither of us have the 600 bucks to buy a new one,
你知道这意味着什么再加点烟熏牛肉酱
so you know what that means -- more smoky steak sauce.
我们不该逞强的
Alright, I guess we shouldn't fight it, okay?
我们不酷我们的孩子也不会爱我们了
We are not cool, and our kids are gonna stop loving us.
妈
Mom.
漏斗
Funnel!
我们回来了
We're back.
如果以后法庭上提起这次万圣节
From the Halloween that will be referred to in court
我就说"那天我应该说点什么的"
as "The day I should've said something."
太吓人了
It was traumatizing.
很抱歉我没让你去
I'm so sorry I asked you not to come.
宝贝对不起
Baby, I'm sorry.
妈妈成绩太糟糕了
Mom, it was terrible.
大家都讨厌科罗拉多州
People hate Colorado.
格雷厄姆
Oh, Graham.
你猜怎么着
Guess what.
我给你买♥♥了新牙刷上面还有青蛙
I got you a new toothbrush. It has frogs on it.
青蛙
Frogs?!
你最酷了
You're the coolest!
谁能想得到
Who would've ever thought?
我会用青蛙牙刷
Me with a frog toothbrush.
看来我们还有时间
Well, it looks like we've still got some time left.
我很想知道
Okay, I have to know.
你们是亲手杀了那只老鼠吗
Did you kill that rat yourselves?
不不是我们
No. That wasn't us.
只是山顶小学的卫生太差
Hilltop just isn't a very clean school.
谢天谢地
Thank God.
但你们为什么要这么做
But why did you guys do all that?
我们知道你根本不会装饰
We knew you'd totally beef it on the decorations.
因为你根本就不会当班主任
Since you've been completely beefing it at being Room Parent.
没错我们不希望别人再对你不满了
Yeah. We didn't want people to get mad at you again.
我们希望大家能看到我们眼中的你
We just wanted everyone to see you like we see you.
一个会赚钱的好爸爸
A solid earner and a pretty good dad.
说得真好姑娘们
Well, that's beautiful, girls,
我没想到
and I-I guess I didn't consider
这样会让你们左右为难
how half-assing it would make you feel.
但是我保证以后
But I'll tell you what, in the future, I promise --
我会更努力的好吗
I will put more effort in, okay?
晚安
Good night.
爸爸
Dad?
嗯
Yeah?
威尔真的不是犹太人吗
Is Will really not Jewish?
当然是亲爱的
Of course he is, honey.
他当然是了
Of course he is.
当我抱着奄奄一息的他
As I held his dying body in my arms,
他看着我的眼睛说道
he looked me right in the eyes and said
帮我办万圣节吧
"Do Halloween for me."
然后他飘向了天空的大鬼屋
And then he was gone off to the big haunted house in the sky.
太伤心了
How awful.
谢谢
Thank you.
都在这干嘛呢
What's going on here?
天哪威尔
Oh my god, Will,
苏菲你们还活着
Sophie, you are alive.
当然你们被吓着了吧
Hell yeah they are. Y'all got spooked.
米基出什么事了
Miggy, what's happening?
别再质疑我的吓人能力了