单亲

Single Parents S02E21

Part 4 June 24, 2020, 4:10 p.m.

现在我如愿了
Well, now I can do that.
我本来打算在巴斯托上几门课的
I was actually gonna take some courses in Barstow!
-什么课 -闭嘴
- What courses? - ?Shut up!
我已经做了决定
I made this decision.
我愿意为自己的幸福冒险
I am taking a chance on me and my happiness,
现在你却要阻止我
and now you want me to stop.
我只是觉得你犯了大错
I just think you're making a terrible mistake.
巴斯托老年人裸♥露♥的情况并没有人们说的那么严重
The elder nudity in Barstow isn't even as bad as they say it is.
不是因为这个
It's not that!
虽然我认为老年人裸♥露♥就是危险信♥号♥♥
Although I'd argue any elderly nudity is a red flag.
那你想说什么
Then what is this about?
德瑞克你讨厌他那冲动愚蠢的性格
Derek? You hate his hot, stupid guts.
-承认吧 -承认吧
- Just admit it! - ?Admit it?
我从来没有掩饰过
I have been very open
我有多讨厌他那冲动愚蠢的性格
about how much I hate his hot, stupid guts.
-我还为你打了他 -那是平局
- I beat him up for you! - It was a draw.
-明明是我揍的他 -你知道吗
- Oh, d-- I kicked his ass! - You know what?
洛杉矶耗资十亿美元
LA costs a billion dollars,
我的超级酷马头面具也已经装进盒子了
and my super-cool horse mask is already in this box.
没有什么能让我留在这里
There's nothing keeping me here.
我没有留下的理由
I have no meaningful roots.
没有留下的理由真的吗
No meaningful roots? Really?
那我们这些朋友呢
What about our group of friends?
那
What --
我呢
What about me?
我也在思考好吗我还没转过弯呢
I'm figuring it out, okay? This is all confusing.
我对德瑞克的感觉很复杂
Derek is confusing.
你也一样
You're confusing.
我只能追随征兆
I just -- I just need to follow the signs.
这么大的事
You can't leave a decision this big
你不能靠老天的暗示来决定吧
to some imaginary message from the sky.
老天可不这么想
The universe would disagree.
好吧老天爷给我们一个征兆
Okay, universe. Give us a sign.
安吉应该去巴斯托吗
Should Angie go to Barstow?
瞧
See?
这种事不能交给命运来决定
You're not gonna be able to outsource this one to fate.
你得自己做出决定知道为什么吗
You're gonna have to make your own decision, and you know why?
因为世界上根本就没有征兆
Because there is no such thing as signs.
这是个不幸的巧合
Well, that was an unfortunately timed coincidence.
你们是想让我们重归于好
So, you were trying to get us back together?
你们在用《天生一对》的方法
You were "Parent Trap'ing" Us?
波比我支持你但现在2020年了
Poppy! ?Look, I'm on your side, but it's 2020.
你不能对双胞胎说这种话
You don't say that to twins.
我们想让你们互相吃醋
We were trying to make you jealous.
是的我们给那个恐怖的电台打了电♥话♥
So, yeah, we called that creepy radio station.
是的贝瑟尼软糖熊是我们编的
And, yes, we made up Bethany Gummi Bear.
我们为她设计了很多剧情
We had a whole arc planned for her.
她还要拿普通教育水平证书呢
She was gonna get her GED.
这个还没有达成一致
We didn't agree on that.
她的魅力之一就是没受过教育
Part of her allure was that she was uneducated.
你们不能套路别人
Look, you can't manipulate people
强迫他们重归于好
and force them to get back together.
波比说得对这是我们的事
Yeah, Poppy's right. This is between us.
而且我绝对不会
And by the way, I would never date anyone
和没有准学士学位的人交往
who didn't have at least an associate's degree.
但这跟我们也有关系
But we're a part of this, too.
我们是看着你们在一起的
We've been there every step of the way.
我们没有发言权吗
When do we get our say?
没有我很抱歉
You don't, okay? I'm sorry.
我知道这样看起来不公平
Look, I know it doesn't seem fair, but the truth is
但我和波比
that, uh, Poppy and I are...
暂时还是做朋友吧
just gonna be friends for now.
但你们不像朋友啊
But it doesn't seem like you guys are friends.
你们只会聊看到松鼠的事
You only talk about squirrel sightings.
是啊很快你们就不说话了
Yeah, and pretty soon, you guys won't talk at all.
这个表情很有深意你们都看到了吧
That's a meaningful look! You two both saw that.
扎心了现在我们不能惹麻烦
We struck a nerve. Now we can't get in trouble.
我们在车里等你
We'll be waiting in the car.
等等我们还没说完呢
Wait, we're not finished here.
-我 -嗯
- Look, I... - ?Yeah.
好吧
Okay.
好吧我知道
Okay, so I know that
蒂凡尼美滋滋8是虚构的
Tiffany Yum Yum 8 is totally made up,
但是这个疯女人的剧情太刺♥激♥了
but you would not believe what this crazy B's got going on.
怎么回事
What the hell happened?
你的卷发棒忘关了吗
Did you leave a curling iron on somewhere or something?
是的威尔
Yes, Will.
我的卷发棒忘关了
I left my curling iron on
把整个房♥子都短路了
and short-circuited the entire house.
当然不是我让电力公♥司♥停电了
No, obviously, I had the power company stop service
因为我明天就要走了
since I'm leaving tomorrow.
我不想让我的转租人占便宜
I don't want my dumb subletter mooching off of me.
我只是没想到电力公♥司♥说
I just didn't realize when the power company said
"九点停电"就是九点整
"Losing power at 9:00," They meant, like, at 9:00.
我找到手电筒了
I think I found a flashlight.
不是一瓶藏着的酒
Nope. Just a hidden bottle of wine.
找到了不
Oh, here we go. No.
又一瓶
Another bottle.
对于一个房♥子刚被烧毁的人来说
You know, for someone whose house just burned down,
你对紧急情况准备很不足啊
you are ill-prepared for an emergency.
紧急情况怎么可能做好准备
You can't prepare for an emergency.
那就不是紧急情况了
Then it's not an emergency.
找到蜡烛了
Found my candles.
我喜欢这个
I love this one --
邪恶姜饼惊喜
Evil Gingerbread Surprise.
天啊好难闻
Oh, my God. That smells terrible.
蜡烛都是我在加油站的假日区买♥♥的
I get all my candles at the holiday section at gas stations.
芝士薄荷摩卡
Cheesy Peppermint Mocha,
土耳其香脂冷杉
Turkey Balsam Fir,
还是驯鹿麝香
or Reindeer Musk?
行吧
Hell, I'm in.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
我不该试图操纵你的决定
I should not have tried to puppet-master your decision.
如果你想再给德瑞克一次机会
And if you want to give it a second chance with Derek,
我支持你
I support that.
我只是希望你开心
I just want you to be happy.
谢谢
Thank you.
很抱歉我刚才说我没有理由留在这里
And I'm sorry that I said I have no reason to stay here.
你是一个超棒的朋友
You're a really amazing friend.
可惜我现在是巴斯托的女人了
It's too bad I'm a Barstow bitch now.
-你会成为巴斯托最牛逼的女人 -是吧
- You're gonna make the best Barstow bitch. - Right?
这是我们共度的最后一晚
So, it's our last night together.
看来只能在黑暗中度过了
I guess we'll be spending it in the dark.
我们可以在客厅喝点酒
Well, we could make our way through my living room wine.
不用到处找开瓶器了
We don't have to paw around looking for a bottle opener
-可以拧开的才是好酒 -没错
- because twist-offs rule. - They truly do.
这杯是你的
Okay, that one's yours.
敬我们最后一晚
To our last night.
敬我们最后一晚
To our last night.
还有
And...
我留下的理由
my one meaningful root.
道格拉斯
Hey, Douglas.
我在思考孩子们说的话
Um, look, I-I was thinking about what the kids said,
我觉得他们说的有道理
and I kind of think they have a point.
我也是
Yeah, me too.
我还在惩罚罗里
I mean, I'm still punishing Rory.
我拿走了他的卡拉OK机
Took away his karaoke machine.
如果他想唱歌♥的话肯定是无伴奏合唱
If he wants to sing, it's gotta be a cappella.
你太温柔了我放大招了
Oh, you went easy on him. I pulled out the big guns.
我正在逼她们看《天生一对》
I'm making them watch "Parent Trap."