单亲

Single Parents S02E14

Part 1 June 24, 2020, 4:09 p.m.

我不明白为什么我只能吃这么一小袋
I don't understand why I have to eat them out of a tiny bag.
控制摄入量道格拉斯
Portion control, Douglas.
你心脏病医生让你注意脂肪摄入量
Your cardiologist telling you you got to watch fat intake
这是我最棒的经历
is the best thing that ever happened to me.
我要帮助我的男人健康饮食
My man's gonna eat healthy, and we're gonna support him
因为我要他活着
because we want to keep him alive.
忘了说今天是德瑞克在这最后一天
Oh, I forgot to tell you, but it's Derek's last day in town.
而且我们相处的还不错
And we're really finding a rhythm.
准备好了
Ready?
-好了 -好了
- Ready. - ?Ready.
成功了
?Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
好了下一批是蓝莓
Okay, this next batch is blueberry.
大家都调整好自己
Everyone make the adjustments you need to make.
我们尝试给格雷厄姆做煎饼
We tried to make a pancake
我们想做成"G"的形状
into the shape of a "G" For Graham,
结果最后看起来像纳粹标志
but then, it ended up looking like a swastika.
纳粹我们把你当早餐吃了
Take that, Nazis! We ate you for breakfast!
孩子应该挺难理解的但我为你高兴
Sounds confusing for the boy, but I'm happy for you.
有没有什么尴尬时刻
Were there any awkward moments?
格雷厄姆有没有问
Graham didn't have any questions like
-"我爸之前去哪了" -没有
- "Where's my dad been my whole life?" - ?No.
他现在还是希腊蓝莓科学家
We're still sticking to the Greek blueberry scientist story --
德瑞克成为了地中海
Derek became the most
最出名的蓝莓科学家
famous blueberry scientist in the Mediterranean
然后作为使者被派往美国
and then was sent to the States as an emissary
帮拉佐快餐店推出新款蓝莓软糖派奶昔蛋糕
to help Ratso's launch the new blueberry fudge pie shake cake.
听起来还行
Sounds solid.
道格拉斯你干嘛呢
Douglas, what are you doing?
我错了
I'm sorry.
我想吃火腿
I wanted ham.
单亲
第二季第十四集
威尔我们来看看和特蕾西分手后
Will, we came to see how you're doing
你过得怎么样
after your breakup with Tracy.
不怎么样
Not great.
但是我在用大扫除让自己分心
But I am distracting myself with a deep clean.
就像我奶奶常说的
It's like my Gam-Gam always says,
"地板越干净..."
"The cleaner the floors..."
这就说完了
Is there more to that?
没有她通常就不说话了
No. Normally, she just trails off after that.
她健康的时候我跟她不是很熟
I never knew my Gam-Gam when she was doing well.
你在这上面写了什么
What you working on here?
我列了一个性♥交♥体♥位♥的清单
I wrote down a list of sexual positions
这样我再找女朋友
so that I don't forget them
就不会忘记了
by the time I'm ready to date again.
上上下下
"Up and down."
来来回♥回♥
"Back and forth."
颠来倒去
"Topsy pushy."
亲爱的这些在我看来没有差别
Sweetie, these all sound like the same thing to me.
而且你竟然认为你会忘记性♥交♥体♥位♥
Also, you think you're gonna forget sex positions?
你准备多久之后才性♥交♥啊
How long you planning on being out of the game?
不知道可能永远吧
I don't know. Possibly forever.
什么意思
How you mean?
米基问得好这是什么意思
Yeah. Miggy's right. How you mean?
朋友们我不知道怎么应对第一次约会
Guys, I don't know how to go on first dates.
我离婚之后只和苏菲的儿科医生
The only people I've seriously dated since my divorce
还有我上司认真谈过恋爱
were Sophie's pediatrician and my boss.
我都不用去找她们她们就在我身边
I didn't have to meet them. They were just there.
可以给我吗
Hey, can I have this?
可以给你吗
Can you have it?
是的
Yeah.
-好吧 -谢谢
- Okay. - ?Nice.
好了放下清洁剂
Alright, put down the Windex,
换件衬衣跟我们走
change your shirt, and come with us.
我们给你找个初次约会对象
We're gonna get you a first date --
跟你颠来倒去
someone to topsy pushy on.
和你颠来倒去
Topsy pushy with?
你懂我意思
You know what I mean.
朋友们我还没准备好
Guys, I'm not ready.
事先声明颠来和倒去
And for the record, "Topsy" And "Pushy"
是两个词
are two different things.
我只是写在了同一行
I just wrote them on the same line.
这更糟糕
That's worse.
有人可能会教你
Some people will tell you
把衣服卷起来或者折好
to roll your clothes up or fold them,
但是整理衣服最有效的办法
but the most efficient way to pack
就是把东西都塞进去
is just to jam all your crap right in there.
-好了 -有意思
- Yeah. - Interesting.
你的洗漱包呢
What about your toiletry bag?
你说呢
Well, ask yourself this --
为什么我需要洗漱包我已经有了
why do I need a toiletry bag when I already have...
一只鞋
a shoe?
你颠覆了我的三观
You just rocked. My. World.
看了没我可不会和一般人生孩子
You see? I won't have a kid with just anyone.
今天有什么计划
So, what's the plan today, guys?
你们想四处逛逛
You want to walk around, find a family
找个看不顺眼的人家干一仗吗
we don't like the looks of, and challenge them to a fight?
其实我和德瑞克
Actually, Derek and I were thinking
想独处一下
that maybe we could have a little alone time together.
格雷厄姆今天想来个父子日
Graham wanted to have a father-son day,
所以我要带他去家洛杉矶拉佐快餐店
so I was gonna take him to an L.A. Ratso's
让他了解我的工作
so he could see where I work.
他真的很想知道我们怎么解冻鸡蛋
He's really excited to see how we defrost our eggs.
所以不是三人一起
So not the three of us?
就你们两个人
Just the two of you?
现在你懂了
Now you're gettin' it.
-好没问题 -好
- Okay. That's cool. - ?Great.
路上我带你去一个神奇的地方
On the way there, I can show you
在那里你可以得到汽油
this amazing place where you can get gas.
加油站
It's a gas station.
我要加油
I have to get gas.
威尔开始你的第一次约会
Okay, Will. Let's get a first date under your belt.
那里有个女人正在盯着你
There's a woman over there who's looking at you.
伙计们她好像要用眼神扒光我
Ohhh, man, she's, like, undressing me with her eyes.
你们觉得她能发现我穿着紧身短裤吗
Do you think she can tell I'm wearing bike shorts?
-你穿着紧身短裤不是吧 -天啊
- You're wearing bike shorts? Oh, no. - ?Oh, God.
我不知道我真的没准备好
I don't know, you guys. I really don't feel ready.
准备什么咖啡吗你们只需要咖啡
For what? Coffee? Cause that's all it has to be.
快点快去吧
Come on. Get over there.
快去
Go, go, go.
来吧
Shamon.
不好意思我是说你好
Sorry. I meant to say hello.
迈克尔·杰克逊才说来吧
Shamon is what Michael Jackson yells.
你刚才听到了吗
Did you... hear what happened?
不重新来吧
No. Let's start over.
*来吧*
*Shamon!*
我在"响"
I was...wundeling...
你愿不愿意约个会
uh, if you would like to go on a date sometime.
天啊我们真是好朋友
God, we're really good friends.
确实
We sure are.
我还拿了他的性♥爱♥体♥位♥清单
You know, I took his list of sex positions.
-快读 -明白
- Read it! - ?I got you.
满手脏脏
"Holdy rubby."
坐位体前屈
"Sit and reach."
挤挤乐
"Squeezy fun fun."
躬身威尔
"Downward facing Will."
66式
"66."
德瑞克和格雷厄姆要去拉佐快餐店
So, yeah, Derek and Graham are going to Ratso's,
就他们俩
just the two of them.
我被一个我从小养到大的人排除了
I'm being boxed out by a human I cooked up from scratch!
我怎么没想到呢
How could I not see this coming?