单亲

Single Parents S02E17

Part 3 June 24, 2020, 4:09 p.m.

Why do we still have to play with this creepshow?
我一轮也玩不下去了
I can't go through another harvest.
你已经和科林闹掰了
You already blew it with Colin.
我可没有
I did not.
我只是需要更多时间而已
I just need more time, that's all.
你就看着吧
You just watch.
他回来的时候
When he gets back,
我的性感会让他欲♥火♥焚身
I'm gonna burn his face off with my spice.
医院没有床位你只能腐烂了
No more hospital beds. You go rotten.
谢谢你帮忙照看珀西
Thanks so much for watching Percy.
我在塔吉特超♥市♥
I got so many errands done
搞定了很多东西
at your big American Target.
作为一个单亲爸爸
You know, now that I'm a single dad,
真的很难找到时间
it's so hard to find the time
在喂孩子的同时
to feed your child
还得去超♥市♥买♥♥
and then go shopping for all the food
喂孩子需要的食物
that is required for the feeding.
现在有喂猫器为什么没有喂孩子的呢
They make cat feeders, why not kid feeders?
是吧
Right?
-对那我们就先走了 -真的吗
- Right, we'll be off. - Oh, really?
这么快
Already?
但苏菲和珀西玩得正起劲
But Sophie and Percy are having so much fun.
-真的吗 -对
- Really? - Yeah.
苹果
Apples.
这真是太好了
This is huge. I...
珀西有时会很难交朋友因为...
Percy sometimes has trouble making friends because of the...
-离婚 -苹果吗好吧
- breakup. - The apple thing? Yeah.
那个
That, um --
但如果有这么个人
But, you know, if there's one person
能在一个话题上钻牛角尖到死
that can nerd out on a single topic,
-那肯定是苏菲·库珀 -好吧
- it is Sophie Cooper. - Okay.
那我们就任由这份友谊开花结果吧
Well, then shall we let this friendship bloom?
我再待一会儿
I'll stick around for a bit?
好啊我去暖上我的熔岩灯
Yeah, I'll get my lava lamp warmed up,
我们能把衣服脱了
we can take our shirts off.
我开玩笑呢
I'm just kidding.
我没有熔岩灯
I don't have a lava lamp.
这真好吃
That is really good.
那男人一直盯着我们
That man's still staring at us.
我们该叫个大人来吗
Should we call a grown-up?
交给我吧
I got this.
哥们你吓到泰勒了
Dude, you're freaking out Taylor.
她叫这个名字吗
Oh, is that her name?
之前可没人给我介绍
Yeah, I wasn't introduced.
-别闹了 -我才不要
- Cut it out! - I will not cut it out.
今晚本该是咱俩的夜晚
This was supposed to be our night!
本来是但我得见见异性啊
Yeah, well, I had to see about a girl.
你不会明白的
You wouldn't get it.
我不会明白
Oh. I wouldn't get it?
作为善意威尔我完全理解
As a Good Will myself, I completely get it.
我只是惊讶你的标准竟然下降了这么多
I'm just surprised you would stoop this low
只为打破你的干旱期
just to break your dry spell.
-我的干旱期 -对我说出来了
- My dry spell? - Yeah, I said it.
去年这个时候你简直势不可挡
Last year at this time, you were on fire.
兔耳朵路易莎我女儿
Bunny Ears, Louisa, my daughter --
而且从兰斯发给我的信息来看
and from all the texts Lance sent me,
听上去你迷倒了太空营的所有妹子
sounds like you cleaned up at space camp.
但目前为止才找个二年级的
But so far, in second grade?
零分
Goose egg.
别拿我当出气筒
Don't take it out on me
就因为我妈有伴儿而你没有
because my mom has someone and you don't.
与此同时你老弟我
Meanwhile, your boy's
正享受被年长女性喂芝士的快乐呢
having an older woman feed him mozzarelle.
行了格雷厄姆我们都知道你是意大利人
Ugh, Graham, we get it. You're Italian.
就像这个国家八分之一的人口一样
Like one-eighth of most of us!
"埃斯达库埃斯特瑞斯让特米迪拉哥"
Esci da questo ristorante, meteorologo!
这是意大利语
That's Italian for
"离开这家餐厅气象员"
"Leave this restaurant, weatherman!"
这是让我最痛快的事儿了
Nothing would make me happier.
但我不能走
But I can't.
因为你才9岁而且这样不地道
'Cause you're nine and that's not cool.
你就走吧
Just go!
行
Fine.
你玩你的
You do you.
我会走的
I will go.
我要走了
I'm gonna go.
我走了
I'm gonna go.
我现在就走
I'll just...go.
看着我离开你
Watch me how I go.
好吧第二轮
Alright. Round 2.
睡觉时间
Sleepy time.
该上♥床♥啦
Sleepy, sleepy.
这真是太棒了
This is a treat.
好极了
Terrific.
好吧道格拉斯
Okay, Douglas.
我能告诉你点事吗
Can I tell you something?
什么都行
Anything.
-我好讨厌这样 -什么
- I hate this so much. - What?
-你也讨厌这样 -你睡我床上
- You hate this, too? - You in my bed
就像和被闪电激活的怪物
is like sleeping with Frankenstein
同床共枕一样
being lightning-ed to life.
昨晚糟透了
Last night was awful.
翻来又覆去
Floppy flop flop.
连《欢乐一家亲》都不能安抚我
Not even "Frasier" could soothe me.
格雷戈里
Gregory.
那你怎么不说呢
So, why didn't you say something?
因为这是进步
Because it was progress.
你进入我的世界
You, you came into my world.
你睡在我的床上
You slept in my dumb bed.
你头一次进入我的领地
You were on my turf for once.
我没意识到这还是领地之争
Oh, I didn't know this was a turf thing.
我只是觉得在我家我们会更舒服
I-I just thought we were more comfortable at my house.
那是当然
Well, of course we are.
你住在007的对手才住得起的豪♥宅♥里
You live in the houseof a James Bond villain.
也因为如此我总是听你的
And because of that, I'm always the one schlepping to you.
面对现实吧道格拉斯你是拍板的人
Face it, Douglas, you call the shots.
得了吧
Oh, come on.
如果我能拍板
If I decided things,
我们的孩子就会去上寄宿学校
our kids would be in boarding school
而我们能吃着大虾
and we'd be eating shrimp
悠闲地待在你所选的热带避税天堂
at the tropical tax shelter of your choosing.
我已经尽力了波比
I'm doing the best I can, Pops.
我知道但这些不会改变
I know, but this isn't gonna change.
我只需要决定我是否想跟一个
And I just need to decide if I want to be with someone
他的世界总是
whose world will always be
比我的世界更重要的人在一起
a little more important than mine.
别这样这不公平
Oh, come on, that's not fair.
我也尽了我的职责我会带罗里
I do my part. I-I babysit Rory.
我假装在对话中保持开放心态
I pretend to keep an open mind in conversations
比如我们现在的对话
like the one we're having now.
好吧我们都精疲力尽了
Okay, we're both exhausted.
就道一声晚安
Let's just say good night
去各自的床上睡觉好吗
and sleep in our own damn beds, alright?
我想一个人待着一个人和《欢乐一家亲》待着
I need to be alone. Well, alone with "Frasier."
你知道吗
You know what?
我只想说一嘴大家都知道
Just for the record, everyone knows
自《执法悍将》以来这个国家再没拍过好电视
that this country has not made a great TV show since "JAG."
《执法悍将》是什么
What's "JAG"?
你猜怎么着
Huh? Okay, you know what?
我没法跟现在的你说话
I can't talk to you when you're like this.
科林