单亲

Single Parents S02E07

Part 4 Nov. 24, 2019, 3:16 p.m.

然后你因为一场假风暴取消了比赛
and you called the game off because of a -- a fake storm.
我看见了闪电
I saw lightning!
你看见个屁
You saw my ass!
那天非常干燥
That day was as dry as a cracker!
你就确定你能推杆进洞吗
Oh, yeah, you're so sure you would have sunk that putt?
他能打得你落花流水老家伙
He'll sink it on your grave, old man!
收回这句话
Take it back.
各位还有你卡米尔
Okay, guys -- and Camille --
跳过高尔夫比赛
let's move past the golf game.
我们打一场吧
Or let's move to it!
我们去果岭吧
Let's get to the green!
好啊
Yes, let us!
今天真适合运动啊
What a lovely day for sport!
-没错 -不
- Indeed! - ?No --
去果岭
To the green!
不伙计们安吉
No, guys! Gu-- Angie.
抱歉势头正猛
Sorry. A lot of momentum.
安吉安吉
Angie. Angie!
卡米尔
C-Camille!
好吧你们手上有我们的东西
Alright, you have something of ours,
我们手上有你们的东西
we have something of yours.
我们来解决问题吧
We can figure this out.
是的我们都是成年人了
Yeah. We're all adults here.
非常不准确我们开始吧
Totally inaccurate. Let's do this.
特蕾西可能在生我的气了
Tracy's probably furious with me.
没错
Oh, she is.
鉴于这些短♥信♥
Based on these texts,
她都要气炸了
she's steamed like a nice vongole.
你想要什么
What do you want?
我们的设备还有17万5
Our devices... and $175,000.
把《猫》首映式的红地毯送上门
Red carpet for the "Cats" premiere with transportation.
尊严还有青蛙软糖
Dignity. And gummy frogs.
-没错那个超好吃 -我也要那个
- Oh, yeah, those are really good. - I want those, too.
我也要
I want those.
-挺好吃的 -是吧
- Oh, those are delicious. - Right?
-超好吃 -我的天呐
- So good! - Oh, my God.
好吧你们赢了
Alright, fine! You win.
那些都归你们把我手♥机♥还我
You can have 'em back. Just give me my phone.
数三声设备放到桌子上
Devices in the center of the table on three.
一二三
One, two, three...
四五六
Four, five, six --
-只数三声 -好
- Just to three. - ?Okay.
放手
And release.
你拿我的手♥机♥干嘛伙计
What are you doing with my phone, ese?
冷静冷静
Chill. Chill.
无线网络断了
The WiFi's not working.
地球离轴了吗
Is the Earth off its axis?!
我正在买♥♥利佐的门票呢
I was in the middle of buying Lizzo tickets!
爵士
Jazz.
这样
Here's the deal --
你们今天因为胡闹受罚结束前
you will not have access to the Internet
你们都不能上网
until you make up for today's bad behavior.
每个家务换取密♥码♥的一个字母
Each chore will yield one letter, number,
数字或符号♥
or symbol of the password.
开始
哥们
Bro!
我的爵士和你的仪乐队
We took my jazz and your marching band,
咱俩一起成为了灵魂伴侣
and together we became soul mates.
爵仪队
Marching jazz.
爵仪队
Marching jazz.
我就是这个意思
That's -- That's what I meant.
你最好祈祷有闪电
You better pray for lightning.
你最好祈祷我不用空手道打你
You better pray I don't karate you.
该死
Damn it.
-真是莫名其妙 -不别这样
- That made no sense. - No, don't do that.
这非常有道理
It made perfect sense.
我马上回来
I'll be right back.
天哪这事失控了
God, this thing is out of control.
我得做个了结
I gotta end it.
但我很难过
But I'm sad.
那些谈论积极向上感受的人
People talk about positivity feeling good,
我通常很鄙视他们
and I usually want to drown those people,
但是的确感觉很好
but it -- it feels good.
你这个可怜可人多愁善感的小笨笨
Oh, you poor, sweet, emotionally stunted dumb-dumb.
你知道就算你不扮演空姐
You know you can still be sweet
你也可以做个可人儿
even when you're not playing a flight attendant.
这是你的内在安吉
It's inside you, Ang.
我说不好
I don't know.
卡米尔会怎么说
What would Camille say?
她会说
She'd say...
"那当然啦"
"Oh, you betcha!"
我决定卡米尔来自明尼苏达
I decided Camille's from Minnesota.
好吧
Okay.
天哪
Oh, boy.
你的鼻孔跟煎饼一样大
Okay, your nostrils are the size of pancakes.
你很紧张吗
Are you nervous?
等等
Wait a minute.
你当时作弊了吗
Did you actually cheat back then?
当然了
Of course I did!
当时根本没有闪电
There was no lightning.
我们又不是在大平原
Where are we, the Great Plains?
我不能让儿子击败我
I couldn't let my son beat me.
道格拉斯你干嘛跟他这么较劲
Douglas, why are you so competitive with him?
你对双胞胎不是那样
You're not that way with the twins.
是啊她们一出生就在大多数事上比我强
Nah, they were born better than me at most things.
躲开
Fore!
你打了左旋球
You hooked it.
但赞德不是
But not Xander.
他小的时候真是太完美了
Oh, when he was little, it was perfect.
他崇拜我仿佛我是超级英雄
He used to look up to me like I was a superhero.
然后他长大了
Then he got older,
我也不知道发生了什么
and I don't know what the hell happened.
我不知道
I don't know.
也许你害怕他不崇拜你了
Maybe you were afraid he'd stop looking up to you?
我想是吧
Well, I guess so.
我太害怕失去我的宝贝儿子
I was so afraid of losing my little boy
结果真的失去了他
that I -- I actually lost him.
我搞砸了好吧
I screwed up, okay?
现在太迟了
And now it's just too late.
现在还为时不晚
It's not too late, Douglas.
你得告诉他你的感受
You have to tell him how you feel.
他不需要什么推杆
He doesn't need this stupid putt.
他需要他爸
He needs his dad.
天哪
God!
爸搞什么我以为你是头熊
Dad, what the hell? I thought you were a bear.
你以为高尔夫球场的熊把熊掌放在你肩上
You thought a golf-course bear put his paw on you?
随便吧听着
Doesn't matter. Look, um...
你不用这么做赞德好吗
you don't have to do any of this, Xander, okay?
你说得对
You were right.
那天我做弊了
I did cheat that day.
我想让你在我的光辉下
I tried to keep you in my shadow
因为我喜欢做大人物
because I liked being the big dog.
这是我的问题不是你的好吗
That's my problem, not yours, okay?
但现在你是大人物了我觉得你
But now you're the big dog, and I think you're --
我觉得你做得很不错
I think you're doing really well.
我做得是不错
I am doing great.
我在购物中心有间六千五的单身公♥寓♥
I've got a $6,500 studio apartment in a mall,
刚遇见了一个超棒的女孩
just met a great girl.
卡米尔
Camille!
对了我们得谈谈
By the way, we gotta talk.
不是现在