单亲

Single Parents S02E12

Part 3 June 24, 2020, 4:08 p.m.

and she'll know it was me.
我们瞒住的话就不会
Not if we cover it up.
我们不会说谎
You and I aren't built for lying.
你是对的
You're right.
我们搞不定的
We'll never be able to pull this off.
我们需要一个坏人
We need a bad person.
道德败坏的人
Someone 100% morally bankrupt.
我听说有些事需要我们来做
I understand our services are needed.
我们听说有些证据需要被清除
We hear there's evidence that needs to be destroyed.
别担心我们很小心的
Don't worry. We're discreet.
他们又开了一瓶红酒
They just opened another bottle of wine.
什么时候普朗斯图勒和圆脸迈克诺姆
When are Pronstroller and Round Head McNormal Face
才能开搞啊
gonna smush already?
我饿了
I'm hungry.
盯梢的时候一般不都有零食吗
Don't people usually have snacks at these stakeouts?
你给我吃
You're offering me loose beef jerky
从杂物箱拿出来的牛肉干
from your glove compartment?
抱歉公主
Sorry, princess.
天啊这也太难啃了
Oh, hell yeah, that's hard to eat.
你还有小型监视望远镜
Also, you own a tiny spy telescope?
能说说你为什么买♥♥它吗
Wanna tell me the story of buying that?
我真的很好奇
Just very curious about your headspace
你买♥♥它的时候在想什么
during that time of purchase.
谢谢你的提问
Thank you for your question.
首先这是一个望远镜
First of all, it's a spyglass.
店里标价400张券
And it was reasonably priced at 400 tickets at Dave & B's,
我用了在滑雪球赢到的券
which I easily won rippin' it at Skee-Ball.
你知道吗我们是很好的朋友
You know what? You and I are best friends,
但是我们在消遣方式上非常不同
but we have very different approaches to our recreational time.
嗯这是一个监视的好段子
Yes. See? That is great stakeout banter.
看看我们俩
Check us out,
就像一对怪人卧底警探搭档
just two odd-couple, buddy-cop knucklebutts
待在小货车里一边开对方的玩笑
camped out in a van, razzing each other
一边监视人♥渣♥
while we eagle-eye some dirtbags.
没错
That's right.
你没事吧
Are you okay?
手♥机♥要充电吗
Your phone need juice?
我有
I have...
七个不同的充电器
seven different chargers,
都是给旧手♥机♥充电的
none of them for contemporary phones,
但应该可以拼凑一下
but we could cobble something together.
是莎伦
It's Sharon.
她把超声波图发给了我
She sent me her sonogram.
是个女孩
It's a girl.
一个美丽健康胎位良好的女孩
Beautiful, healthy, well-positioned girl.
罗里的妹妹
Rory's little sister.
我已经准备好聊聊我的真实感受了
I think I'm ready to talk about how I'm really feeling.
是啊差不多了
Oh, yeah, that sounds about right.
-嗯 -来
- Okay. - ?Come here.
波比在呢
Poppy's got ya.
双胞胎处理尸体的时候
I don't know how you can eat while the twins are...
你居然还能吃东西
disposing of the body.
看到你的高大形象轰然倒塌
Well, I guess seeing you fall off your high horse
我突然有点饿
left me a bit peckish.
我只关心我女儿的道德感
"All I care about is my daughter's moral compass."
扯淡
Bunk.
你才扯淡棒棒糖男孩
You're bunk, Lollypop Boy.
没错我学会了
Yeah, that's right. I took it,
而且从我嘴里说出来更贴切
and it sounds better coming out of my mouth.
我没有怼你
I'm not judging.
我只是为你贴上了虚伪的标签
I'm just merely labeling your hypocrisy
并因此看不起你
and thinking less of you for it.
好吧我想要
Fine. Do I enjoy
一个颇有成就的女儿吗
being the father of a high-achieving daughter?
当然了
Of course.
我有送她去哈佛的18年计划
Do I have an 18-year plan where she goes to Harvard
但她想像《费莉希蒂》那样去声望显赫的纽约大学
but then eschews that for a prestigious New York university
追求自己一生的真爱吗
to chase after the love of her life, just like Felicity?
我有
I do.
我有时会不会想象自己
And do I sometimes picture myself
留着《费丽丝蒂》那种发型
with the Felicity haircut?
不是好看的那种是大家都觉得不好看
You know, not the good one, but the one everyone says is bad
但我觉得我应该挺合适的那种
but I think I could pull off?
你脑洞还真不小啊
It's really busy up there, isn't it?
你到底帮不帮我们
Look, can you help us or not?
我可以帮你们
Yes, I can help you.
苏菲
Sophie!
是时候制♥造♥完美不在场证明了
Listen, it's time to construct the perfect alibi,
关键是你得真心相信自己的说辞
but the key is that you have to really believe your own story.
好吗明白吗
Okay? You got it?
应该吧
I-I think so.
好的
Okay.
你下午三点在哪
Where were you at 3:00 p.m.?
商场吗
Th-The mall?
胡说
Baloney!
闭上眼睛幻想一下身处的商店
Now, close your eyes and see the store you're in.
感受一下闻一下
Feel it. Smell it.
好吧
Okay.
我在克莱尔饰品店
I was in Claire's.
不是天使冰王
No! TCBY.
你买♥♥了什么
And what did you buy?
作业吗
Homework?
在酸奶店吗
At a yogurt store?
瞧你还不够投入
Okay, see, your head's not in the game.
跑一圈
Take a lap!
直说吧她肯定会被戳穿对吧
Alright, give it to me straight. She's gonna blow this, right?
她是我见过最不会说谎的人了
She's the worst liar I've ever seen.
孩子们通常都擅长说谎
And kids are usually good at it.
他们蠢到可以相信自己说的话
They're dumb enough to believe what they're saying.
该死都怪我养了个这么优秀的女儿
Damn it, I raised too good of a daughter.
至少我们还有一个周末来解决
But at least we have all weekend to figure it out.
威尔·库珀
Will Cooper.
山顶小学的鹦鹉不见了
The Hilltop parrot is missing.
我猜是苏菲干的
I assume it was Sophie.
因此我才会在三天周末假期的
Thus, I am here on Friday afternoon
周五下午来调查这件事
of my three-day weekend to investigate.
你为什么这么讨厌我
Why do you hate me?
一想到罗里的妹妹不是我的孩子
It just feels impossible to wrap my head around the idea
我就脑子发懵
of Rory having a sibling that isn't my kid.
虽然莎伦让我亲她的肚子
And Sharon can tell me to kiss her belly all she wants to,
但其实这件事和我无关安吉
but the truth is, I'm not a part of this, Ang.
但是和罗里有关系
And Rory will be.
你肯定很难接受
Yeah, that's gotta be really hard to process.
尤其是莎伦还把她肚子里
Especially with Sharon sending you pictures
恶心的"新室友"照片发给了你
of her gross new body roommate.
抱歉每个孩子都是奇迹上帝为证
Sorry, all babies are miracles. Proof of God.
我也不能当面告诉莎伦我的感受
And it's not like I can confront Sharon and tell her how I feel.
不行我得当一个十全十美的前妻
No, I have to be the perfect ex-wife.
优雅得体常备口香糖
Gracious, evolved, always has gum.
我没有难过的权利但有时候我就是想难过
I'm not allowed to get upset, and sometimes I wanna get upset.
那就难过吧
Well, then, do it. Get upset.
宣泄出来
Come on. Let it out.
宣泄到这两个废物身上
Let it out on these losers.
在窗边接吻
Ugh, kissing in the window,
他们就像那部圣诞电影里的大腿灯一样
like they're the leg lamp from that Christmas movie.
没错给他们点颜色看看
Hell yeah. Let's go bust some skulls!
让他们看看什么叫真正的接吻
Yeah, let's go show them what a real kiss looks like!
没错等等
Yeah! Wait.
你以为我们是要做什么安吉
What do you think we're about to do, Angie?
我们要想个计划让他们开门
Okay, so, we need a plan so they open the door.
你有汽笛吗