单亲

Single Parents S02E15

Part 1 June 24, 2020, 4:09 p.m.

好了情人节晚餐需要的东西
Okay, I think we got everything we need
我们都买♥♥齐了
for the Valentine's Day dinner.
桌布起泡葡萄汁
We got tablecloths, sparkling grape juice,
还有世界末日宣传折页
and a Doomsday pamphlet
停车场有个奇怪的家伙给我的
I got from that weird guy in the parking lot
我折成了一只天鹅
that I folded into a swan.
肯定棒极了
This is gonna be awesome.
是吗我可提醒你
Is it? 'Cause to remind you,
这是我们的孩子情人节在学校做的晚餐
it is dinner cooked by our kids at the school on Valentine's night.
-还有什么比这更丧失性趣的 -什么
- Could anything kill sexual energy faster? ?- What?
切斯二年级派对很性感
Chez Second Grade is hella sexy.
等下这不合适
Wait, that's inappropriate.
只能私下说
Off the record. Off the record!
另外如果你不愿意
Besides, if you didn't want to do it,
就不该主动申请和我一起负责
you shouldn't have volunteered to run it with me.
我没有是你给我报的名
I didn't. You signed me up.
现在我得和最讨厌的人
Now I got to spend this holiday
一起过节了
with all the people I hate most --
班上的学生家长
the parents in our class.
那位新来的单身爸爸呢
What about that new single dad
大家都喜欢他
everybody's going crazy for?
他背的斜挎包我在网上都搜不到
The one with the messenger bag I can't seem to find online.
科林那个英国人
Colin? The British guy?
我们一见面就很尴尬
He is so awkward around me.
我们在加油站吵过一次
We had one run-in at the gas station,
他每次看见我都会提一次
and he brings it up every time I see him.
干嘛老是纠结过去呢
It's like, "Move on with your life."
别管其他学生家长了
Okay, who cares about the other parents?
重要的是我们又能一起玩了
The important thing is we're hanging out again.
抱歉我和特蕾西约会时中断了一阵
Sorry we had to take a break while I was seeing Tracy.
然后她甩了你
But then she dumped ya butt.
是的她甩了我
She did. She dumped ma butt.
所以明天我要弥补一下
So tomorrow, I'm gonna make up for being a bad friend.
威尔和安吉回来了
Will and Angie are back.
《比武》的新预告刚出来
In fact, the new teaser for "Joust!" just came out.
你想多看几遍吗
Do you want to watch it a hundred times?
-慢慢来吧 ?-好的
- Let's take it slow. - ?Okay.
等等这都是什么
Wait, what is this?
电池卫生棉条烟雾报♥警♥器
Batteries, tampons, smoke alarms?
这些东西不在清单上
These things weren't on the list.
我刷了家庭教师协会的卡所以帮他们买♥♥的
Yeah, it's on the PTA for letting me use their credit card.
单亲
第二季第十五集
下午好亲爱的
Good afternoon, my love.
什么情况
What's happening?
你在给我放《红衣女郎》吗
Are you "Lady in Red"-ing me?
没错
You're damn right I am.
情人节
Valentine's Day,
你是女人我也准备好了
you're a woman, and I am prepared.
有熊有卡
Got the bear, got the card,
我有足够的巧克力
got enough chocolate
可以把狗窝变成琼斯镇
to turn that Hotel for Dogs into Jonestown.
道格拉斯不用这样
Douglas, we don't need to do this.
跟你约会的女性
You're dating a woman who doesn't subscribe
不怎么默守陈规
to archaic cultural norms, okay?
我与时俱进
I'm evolved.
是吗但是从谁进化而来
Oh, you are. But evolved from whom?
雅典娜
Athena?
珀尔塞福涅阿芙罗狄蒂
Persephone? Aphrodite?
这些是希腊女神
Those are Greek broads.
你可真行快别说了
You were doing so well. You should've just stopped.
话说我得挂了
Oh, oh, you know what? I gotta go.
-爱你 -我也爱你
- Love you. ?- Love you too.
下一个病人在火车室
Your next patient is in the Choo-Choo Room.
我最后说一次那叫二号♥诊室
Okay, for the last time, it's called Exam Room Two.
我不
No.
你好花栗鼠
Ding-dong, Chipmunk.
红发佳人
Big Red.
我是来检查皮肤的
I'm here for a skin check.
我在巴拿马的阳光下晒了一年
I've been sizzling in the Panamanian sun for the past year,
我都晒熟了
and... I'm cooked through.
-甚至最深的地方 -一年
- Even the thick parts. ?- A year?
我以为你只要去五个月
I-I thought your trip was supposed to last five months.
我卷进性♥交♥易了
I was sex trafficked.
自愿的
Voluntarily.
有点不一样了
Something's different.
你在谈恋爱
You're in a relationship now.
她做点小买♥♥卖♥♥ 有一个孩子
She has a small business and has a child
大约20年后会主持感恩节游♥行♥
who will host the Thanksgiving Day Parade in about 20 years.
我可以给你介绍
Y-You know, I could refer you
几位出色的皮肤科医生
to some fantastic dermatologists.
我懂了
I dig. I dig.
如果你女朋友知道你和我在一起
If your gal finds out that you're here with me,
肯定会疯狂尖叫吵得不可开交
she's gonna scream so loud her ass'll fall out.
天啊你说得太生动了
Oh, God, you paint with words.
我的女朋友
A-And as far as my lady friend,
她会处理得很好
she would handle it perfectly fine.
她是个与时俱进的女人
You see, she is an evolved woman.
我不在乎她是谁
I don't care who she is.
女人只要恋爱了就会吃醋
When a woman is in love, she's jealous.
-我们深爱着对方 -你确定吗
- Well, we are deeply in love. - Are you sure?
听起来她的喷气机已经冷却了
Sounds like maybe her jets have cooled.
你错了
You're wrong.
她的喷气机正冒火呢
Her jets are...firing.
你喜欢喷气机是吧
Oh, you like jets, do you?
来两架巨型喷气机如何
How about a couple of jumbos?
助理斯泰茜女助理
A-A-Assist! Stacy! Female assist!
各位
Alright, folks.
这个游戏叫小费
The name of the game is tips.
这就是你当酒保的原因格雷厄姆
That's why we've got you bartending, Graham.
-我不知道怎么做 -?很简单
- I don't know how to bartend. ?- It's simple.
深情凝视对方
Bat those doe eyes,
客人说什么都同意
agree with everything the customer says,
有问题时就说"我明白朋友"
and when in doubt, always say, "I hear you, partner."
-我的小提琴手呢 -我都说了
- Now, where's my fiddler? - I keep telling you,
我不会拉小提琴
I don't know how to play violin.
我是吹单簧管的
I play the clarinet.
我也一直跟你说
And I keep telling you --
没人愿意吻木管乐器
nobody's smooching to a woodwind.
今天是情人节
It's Valentine's Day.
亮彩唇才有小费赶紧的
Wet lips get tips. Now hit it.
霍米莉得了咽喉炎
Homily's got strep,
所以她让我去厨房♥帮忙
so she asked me to help out in the kitchen.
那你不也感染了吗
Doesn't that mean you have strep?
没有只是发烧吞咽时有点疼
Nah, just a fever. Hurts when I swallow.
告诉我怎么走
Tell me where to go.
米基稍等
Miggy, give us a moment.
我们该怎么办
What should we do?
他好像也感染了但我们人手不足
He sounds contagious, but we're understaffed.
我知道
I know.
赌一把吧
Let's roll the dice, man.
反正我不吃那些垃圾你呢
I-I'm not eating any of that crap. Are you?
?绝对不吃
?Definitely not.
米吉去厨房♥吧
Miggy, hit the kitchen.
酷
Cool.
天啊新来的英国爸爸
Oh, God. There's the new British dad.
威尔把脸转过去
Will, look away. Look away.
安吉威尔
Hi, Angie. Will.
-科林 -记得加油站吗
- Hi, Colin. ?- Remember the gas station?
我们见过
We met there.
是的我们说过了安吉
Yep. Yeah, we've been over this, Angie.