单亲

Single Parents S02E08

Part 2 Nov. 24, 2019, 3:16 p.m.

我加上她等于爱心表情加烟花表情
Me plus her equals heart emoji plus fireworks emoji
加两个火车表情
plus a double dose of train emojis.
这是我和她之间的笑话
It's an inside joke.
道格拉斯你收到我充气雪人的短♥信♥了吗
Douglas, did you get my text about the blow-up snowman
假日庆典需要的那个
we got for the holiday pageant?
雪人不带鼓吹机
Well, it didn't come with a motor,
所以你得用嘴吹了
so you're gonna have to blow it up with your mouth.
我收到了而且会照做
I did and will certainly get to it.
我只是不想占据你和米基的二人世界时间
I just wouldn't want to take time away from you and Miggy.
这也叫电光火石的情愫
You call that vibe electric?
你怎么一句话不说
Why didn't you say anything?
我们从没说过话
Oh, we've never talked.
你在和一个从没说过话的人约会
You're dating someone you've never talked to?
数字时代的交往就是这样
That's how people date in the digital age.
全都是私信
It's all about sliding into DMs,
动图集赞转发和点赞
GIFs, likes, reposts, double taps.
你懂吗
You feel me?
我不懂永远不会懂
I do not, nor will I ever.
鞋真好看特蕾西
Nice shoes, Tracy.
你的鞋也不错
Oh, nice shoes to you.
我刚说了"鞋真好看"吗
Did I say "Nice shoes"?
对我回应了吗
Yeah. Did I say it back?
嗯
Yeah.
我已经好久
You know, it's been a while
没和大伙一起过感恩节了
since I've done a group Thanksgiving.
大多数时候我只是在沃尔特餐馆吃个饭
Most years, I just do Walter's Diner.
不会吧
Shut up.
-你知道沃尔特餐馆 -当然了
- You know Walter's? - Yes! Of course.
专为悲伤的单身狗准备
It's exclusively for sad and single people.
就像飞机上中间的座位一样
It's like the middle seat on a plane,
只不过是个餐馆
but a restaurant.
特蕾西·弗里兹知道沃尔特餐馆
Huh. Tracy Freeze knows Walter's.
真是没想到
Did not see that coming.
没错我可狂野着呢
Oh, yeah. I'm a wild card.
听好了我有个叫BJ的松狮蜥
Check this -- I have a bearded dragon named BJ.
什么不会吧
What? No way.
没错没有笼子在我家散养
Yeah. No cage. Just loose in my house.
给力啊弗里兹我不换台了
Okay, Freeze. I'm not changing the channel.
你还有什么新鲜事
What else you got?
米基借一步说话
Miggy? A moment?
听着
?Listen.
我又收到了普朗斯图勒的邮件
I just got another e-mail from Pronstroller.
主题是"把后面五周的周六都空出来"
Subject heading -- "Clear your next five Saturdays."
我以为你会让她不再烦我呢
I thought you were gonna get her off my back.
哥们我说过了我这年代的人不说话
Dude, I told you, people my age don't have conversations.
也许是时候让你们学着说话了
Well, maybe it's time you learned how to have one.
对了普朗斯图勒
In fact...Pronstroller?
你们俩十分钟后去我书房♥
Both of you, in my study, 10 minutes.
你们最好做好准备
And you may want to brace yourself,
因为我书房♥里有好几副
because I have multiple paintings
乔治·W·布♥什♥的画作
by George W. Bush in there.
你开玩笑呢
You're kidding.
完全没有
I am not kidding!
这台打印机又时髦又防火
This printer is stylish and fire-resistant.
斯内芬打印
?Snerfink.
记到你手♥机♥里
Make a note of it in your phone.
斯内芬
S-N-E-R-F...
-打印 -打印
- ...i-n-k. - ?I-n-k.
我被种草了
?I am sold.
我要买♥♥一台
I am buying one.
绝版了多年前就被召回了
Can't! It was recalled years ago.
-不会吧 -好吧该你了
- No. ?- Okay, your turn.
好吧我想想
Okay. Um...let's see.
我给你说了
I told you about...
我在孟菲斯合伙开的奇波雷墨西哥烧烤餐厅
the Chipotle I co-own in Memphis,
我在笑声工厂的崩溃经历
my meltdown at the Laugh Factory...
以及我怎么进了阴♥道♥环的测试实验
...how I was in the test trial of NuvaRing.
我觉得就这些了
I feel like that's it.
再想想弗里兹
Dig deep, Freeze.
我去添酒
I'm gonna go gas up,
等我回来时我要听猛料
and when I come back, I want juicy.
猛料
Juice.
猛料
Juice.
我觉得托尼在我的肉汁里加了什么
I think Tony put something in my gravy.
和特蕾西聊得如何看起来你们进展不错
How's it going with Tracy? Seems like you guys are bonding.
没错
We are.
威尔你知道特蕾西其实很酷吗
Will, did you know that Tracy is actually cool?
你在和一个超酷的人交往
Like, you are dating a cool person.
她家里竟然有一只蜥蜴
She's got a frickin' loose lizard in her house.
安吉我是带着很友善的语气说这话的
Well, Angie, and I mean this in the nicest way possible --
吃瘪了吧
in your face.
所以你想让我告诉你
So, you want me to tell you
我知道的所有感恩节的事情
everything I know about Thanksgiving.
对而且要快还是说你不想让我上大学
Yeah, and hurry. Or do you not want me to go to college?
好吧
Okay.
普利茅斯岩
Plymouth Rock.
威廉·布拉德福德和五月花号♥朝圣者下船的地点
《玉米就是苞米》
Corn is maize.
讲述印第安人帮助殖民者种植玉米的故事书
圣玛丽亚号♥
Santa Maria?
哥伦布首航美洲舰队三艘船中的旗舰船
那是哥伦布的船你逗我玩吗
That was Columbus. Are you kidding me?
真是浪费我时间
This was a waste of my time.
好吧你说得对
Alright. You were right.
我错了
I was wrong.
她很完美开心了吗
She's perfect. Are you happy?
等我把托尼埋了我才会开心
I will be happy when I am standing on Tony's grave.
托尼别碰那东西
Tony, don't touch that stuff!
我要把你这老东西预热到180度
I'll preheat your ass to 350!
安吉你知不知道关于
Oh, Angie, do you know anything about...
你当然不知道了
Of course you don't.
我想到一件我的猛料
Hey, uh, I thought of something juicy to tell you about me.
说吧弗里兹
Juice me, Freeze.
但记住你不能告诉任何人尤其是威尔
But remember, you can't tell anyone, especially Will.
老娘可喜欢秘密了快说
Mama loves a secret. Come on.
我
I, um...
我不喜欢苏菲
I don't like Sophie.
说真的到底是什么
But for real, what is it?
不我说真的那孩子真的很烦人
No, for real. That kid is so annoying.
-是啊 -?对吧
- Ooh! Yeah. - ?Right?
天啊
Oh, God.
有意思
This is fun. ?
真有意思
What fun.
我们依然聊得很开心
We're still having fun.
好了首先把你们的手♥机♥给我
Alrighty. First things first -- give me your phones.
什么
What?
完事后我会还给你们的快点
I'll give them back to you when we're done. Come on.
米基你在干什么
Miggy, what are you doing?
有时候我手上没有手♥机♥的时候
Sometimes, when I don't have my phone,
我的拇指还会习惯性打字
my thumb continues texting.
住手
Stop it!
我想了一些日常对话的开场白
Alright, I've come up with a few everyday conversation starters.
"棒球名人堂球星"
"Baseball Hall of Famers."
"诗为什么"
"Poetry -- Why?"
"锥形胸罩"
"Conical-shaped brassieres."
"如何在炎热的夏天看起来像个绅士"
"How to look like a gentleman in the hot summer months."
那个问题很有意思
Now, that is a rich vein,
你们可能会考虑到短裤的问题
and you may find yourself musing on the subject of shorts.
什么时候穿短裤才合适
Are they ever appropriate?
你们自己想吧
You'll get there on your own.
波比你在这呢
Oh, hey, Poppy. There you are.
我得和你谈谈等等你在干什么