单亲

Single Parents S02E05

Part 2 Nov. 24, 2019, 3:16 p.m.

真的有一战的机会啊
at the tournament this weekend.
这提醒了我
Uh, which reminds me,
我需要一份罗里出生证明的复印件
I need a copy of Rory's birth certificate.
出生证明
Birth certificate?
参加儿童足球联赛还要这个
For a kids' soccer league?
是的为了证明他的年龄
Yeah, just to prove his age.
因为这是九岁及以下的儿童联赛
'Cause it's a 9-and-under league.
你认识罗里
Well, you know Rory.
他九岁可以了吧
He's 9. We good?
其实不可以
No, actually.
这是联盟的政策
League policy.
如果我没有他的出生证明的复印件
If I don't have a copy of his birth certificate,
罗里就不能比赛
Rory can't play.
既然你这么坚持
Well, I mean, if you must know,
其实他的出生证明在泥石流中丢失了
that document has been lost in a -- a mudslide.
你经历过泥石流
You were in a mudslide?
还是飓风
Or was it a hurricane?
伊迪丝飓风
Hurricane...Edith.
没错你居然不记得了威尔
Yes. I'm surprised you don't remember, Will.
你是气象员啊丢人了
You're a weatherman. Shame on you.
你在1971年袭击路易斯安那州的飓风中
So, you lost Rory's birth certificate
弄丢了罗里的出生证明
in a hurricane that hit Louisiana in 1971?
在我的领域不要跟我闹
Come at a weatherman, you best not miss.
敬请关注交通状况
Stay...tuned...for...traffic.
好吧其实是在一场火灾
Okay, it was a fire, and the, um --
波比怎么回事
Poppy, what's going on?
好吧好吧好吧
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
罗里不是九岁
Rory isn't 9.
他十岁了
He's 10.
-不可能 -是的
- No, he's not. - ?Yes, he is.
等等所以我去的瑞安·墨菲主题
Wait, so the Ryan Murphy-themed birthday party
九岁生日派对
for a 9-year-old I went to
其实是瑞安·墨菲主题生日派对
was actually a Ryan Murphy-themed birthday party for a --
十岁的派对是的
A 10-year-old, yeah.
因为那天他不是刚到九岁而是
'Cause he wasn't turning 9, he was actually turning --
十岁
10. 10.
天哪罗里十岁了
Oh, my God. Rory's 10?
他十岁了他不知道
He's 10. And he doesn't know.
他不知道自己的真实年龄
He doesn't know his real age.
好吧好吧
Okay. Okay.
好吧好吧
?Okay. Okay.
这不好
It's not okay.
不
No.
你在做什么
What are you doing?
在门口等着
Waiting by the door.
为什么
For what?
道格拉斯回家以后
When Douglas comes home,
我想着我们可以一起玩会儿
I thought maybe we'd hang.
喝点沙士玩玩扭扭乐
Throw back some root beer, play some Twister...
再看看晚上的安排
see where the night takes us.
虽然我也很期待
You know, as much as I'd pay to see that,
但我们应该谈谈
we should talk.
伙计
Buddy...
你得给道格拉斯一些空间
I think you need to give Douglas some space.
-为什么 -因为他不正常
- Why? - ?Because he's not normal.
他那代人
And he's from a generation
可以把孩子交给消防员
where it was okay to give your children to firefighters.
但我们是他的客人如果我们想留在这里
But, you know, we're his guests, and if we want to stay here,
就得尊重他的特殊生活方式
we have to respect his particular way of living.
但我关心道格拉斯
But I care about Douglas.
我怎么能假装不关心呢
How am I supposed to pretend that I don't?
真棒你们好啊
Oh, great. People.
道格拉斯
Doug...las.
晚上好
Evenin'.
晚上好
And to you.
我做得好吗妈妈
Did I do good, Mom?
我够冷酷吗
Was I coldhearted enough?
伙计你做得很好
Oh, buddy. You were great.
但我有很多问题
But I have so many questions.
他衬衫有一处汤渍
He had a soup stain on his shirt.
怎么弄的
How did it get there?
是奶油吗如果是又是什么汤呢
Was it a "Cream of", and if so, of what?
他可能只是喝汤的时候穿着衬衫
My guess is he was eating soup while wearing a shirt.
仅此而已
End of story.
那我就不管他吗
So, I'm just supposed to leave him alone?
不闻不问
Show no interest?
差不多吧
Pretty much.
今天我学到了很有价值的一课
Well, today I've learned a valuable lesson --
如果关心一个人就憋在心里不说
if you care about someone, keep it to yourself.
妈我怎么才能学到你的冷血呢
Mom...how do I learn to be dead inside like you?
孩子
Buddy...
以后我会告诉你的
I'll tell you one day.
但不是今天好吗
But not today, okay?
忘掉我说的话
Forget what I said.
不要改变自己
You just -- don't change who you are.
做好自己
Be yourself,
即使这意味着把道格拉斯烦死
even if that means annoying the crap out of Douglas.
-真的吗妈妈 -真的
- You mean it, Mom? - Yes.
那个大个子只能受着了
That giant'll just have to deal with it.
这个家可不止他一个大个子
He's not the only giant in the house.
我觉得自己有三米高
I'm feeling 10 feet tall.
道格拉斯
Douglas!
道格拉斯你在哪儿
Douglas, where are you?!
这段时间我们也过得不错
Well, we had a good run.
有钱人的家我会想念你的
I'll miss you, rich guy's house.
难以置信
I can't believe it.
罗里今年十岁
Rory is 10?!
好了小声点好吗
Okay, okay, keep your voice down, alright?
这事只有我罗恩
Nobody knows this except, well, me, Ron,
儿科医生和米基知道
our pediatrician, and Miggy.
-米基知道 -是的
- Miggy knows? -? Yeah.
我们会在通风口分享秘密
You know we like to share secrets through the vent.
行吧我说我的牛仔裤从没洗过
Okay, I'll say it -- I've never washed my jeans.
你觉得这就算坏事吗
Yeah, well, you think that's bad?
罗里还不知道他的真实年龄呢
Rory doesn't know his real age.
什么
What?
我很羡慕你们我也想加入
Okay, I'm very jealous of vent time and want in somehow.
但我还是不理解
But I -- I still don't understand.
我知道这很难让人相信
I know it's hard to believe,
但按年龄来看罗里真的很矮
but Rory was really small for his age.
他和年龄小一点的孩子处得更好
He just -- he fit in better with the younger kids,
所以我才瞒着他
so I held him back.
那你为什么撒谎呢
Okay, but why lie about it?
因为我不希望让他烙下
Because I didn't want him to have the stigma
被同龄人抛弃的耻辱
of being left back.
我本来想跟他坦白的
I mean, I was gonna tell him down the line,
但现在已经回不了头了
but now I am in deep.
就跟约炮一样
I mean, this is like when I got bangs.
我也约过
I've had bangs.
这可完全不一样
This is nothing like that.
很遗憾你得一直瞒着他
But I'm sorry you've had to carry this around with you.
很难受吧
It's a lot.
真是谢谢了
Thank you for saying that.
虽然我也不想
But, as much as I hate to say it,
但罗里不能加入鳄鱼队
Rory can't play on the Gators.
你知道我们队的口号♥ "绝不作弊"
You know our team motto -- "We don't cheat."
抱歉仅此而已没有下文了
No, sorry, that's it. There's no spin or anything.
不我明白
No, I get it, I get it.
真是太可惜了
And it just sucks,
尤其是考虑到队伍赢球以后
especially considering how being on a winning team