单亲

Single Parents S02E04

Part 2 Nov. 24, 2019, 3:16 p.m.

米基你要看着孩子
Miggy, you're watching the kids.
还是我吗
Still?
靠我好累
Damn, I'm tired.
-我是凯瑞 -我是凯文
- My name is Kerry. - And I'm Kevin.
-我们是凯奇夫妇 -厨房♥夫妇
- And we're The Kitchens. - The Kitchens.
我们真的姓这个
It's our real name.
现在该干活啦
And now our job!
这些人也太棒了吧
?Aren't these guys just the freakin' best?
我知道凯文因为殴打邮递员受审了
I-I know Kevin is on trial for punching a Postmate,
但他在节目中太讨人喜欢了
but he's just so likable on the show.
我还在纠结
I'm just still struggling with the fact
你跟格雷厄姆说
that you told Graham
是我害你们房♥子着火的
I'm the one who set your house on fire.
而且还有一个很好的理由
But for a good reason --
杀死美国最受欢迎的美人鱼
killing America's favorite mermaid.
我能怎么说呢
What was I supposed to tell him --
抛弃你的爸爸来过了我们还做了爱吗
that his AWOL dad was here and we had sex?
不你说得对只有这两个选择呗
No, you're right. It was one or the other.
你能帮我背次锅吗
Can you just take this fall for me,
就这一次
just this one time?
凯文在诺福克施工期间
I guess Kevin did take the fall for Kerry
可能真的帮凯瑞背锅了
during the Norfolk job,
可能是凯瑞把坐浴桶装错了
when she installed the bidet wrong
刺穿了房♥主的结肠
and it perforated that homeowner's colon.
没错真男人
Yes. My man!
我们唱主题曲吧
Now let's crank that theme song.
这是我放手电筒的地方
This is where I put my flashlight,
那些是我的罐头
those are my canned goods,
这就是我睡觉的地方
and this is where I try to sleep
但是我睡不着因为我心中有了新的恐惧
but don't, 'cause of all the new fear in my heart.
格雷厄姆
Oh, Graham.
亲爱的宝贝亲爱的
Oh, honey, sweetie, baby, darling.
你不能在这里待着了
We need to get you out of here.
但是外面很吓人啊
But it's scary out there!
在这里很安全
And in here, it's safe.
好好想想
Think about it.
只有你和我
It's just you and me.
我们可以创造一个全新的社会
We could create a whole new society.
-一个全新的社会 -是的
- A whole new society? - ?Yeah.
社会需要统治者
And every society needs a ruler.
毕竟这是我的房♥间
Well, it is my room --
好吧那我就是这个地堡的统治者了
Okay, I'll be the ruler of this bunker,
但你得按我的风格来
but you need to bend to my vision.
-什么风格 -简单
- What's your vision? - Simple --
肯尼迪家族隐居加强版
extended Kennedy family reclusiveness,
重现《灰色花♥园♥》
full-on "Grey Gardens."
我一个字也没听懂
That just seemed like a bunch of words,
但是听你的
but I'm in.
塑造我吧
Mold me.
虽然你说我不喜欢这种场合
I know you said it's not my scene,
但我想见见你的朋友
but I want to meet your friends,
如果这意味着
and if that means that
我得注册一个步♥枪♥协会邮件列表
I have to sign up for an NRA mailing list,
那我就直接拖进垃圾邮件了
then I'll send it straight to spam.
没用的
Oh, that won't help.
一旦你上了名单他们肯定能找到你
Once you're on the list, they find you anyway.
看到了吗我已经在学新东西了
See? I'm already learning something new.
让开我想见见他们
Now move aside. I want to meet the guys.
你不想
You don't want to.
道格拉斯
Douglas?
波比来见见姑娘们吧
Poppy, meet the girls.
看看这抹墙粉
Look at that spackling.
我们补得太好了
Our patchwork is so good,
感觉墙上其他的地方太丑了
it makes the rest of the wall look like ass.
现在我可以把格雷厄姆叫出来了
Now I can get Graham out of that bunker
免得他开始腌东西了
before he starts pickling things.
好吧明天见
Alright, well, I will see you tomorrow.
晚安凯瑞
Good night, Kerry.
等等你要走了吗
Wait. You're leaving?
是啊除非你还需要我的帮忙
yeah, unless there's something else you need me for?
是的我还有很事情没做呢
Actually, yes. There's so many things that I haven't gotten to.
这是清单
Here's a list.
清理冰箱整理香料架
"Clean out fridge. Organize spice rack.
给毛衣粘毛
De-fuzz sweaters."
这些是与火灾有关的紧急情况吗
Are these fire-related emergencies?
严格来说不是
No, not technically,
但是如果能一并解决就更好了
but it'd be great to get 'em out of the way.
好吧
Cool.
你知道我不是你的勤杂工对吧
you know I'm not your handyman, right?
知道当然不是
Well, yeah. Of course not.
如果你是的话我就得付钱了
I mean, if you were, I'd have to pay you.
没错
Totally.
但这不是我想说的
Also, not the point I'm trying to make. Um...
好吧你想说什么
Well, what is the point you're trying to make?
天啊你真是喜欢大喘气
Man, do you love a dramatic pause.
安吉你身后有只大老鼠
Angie, there's a giant rat behind you.
请不要误解我平静的语气
Now, please do not mistake my calm tone
我现在极度恐惧
for anything but gut-wrenching fear,
如果你转过身你也会这样的
which is what you will experience if you turn around,
所以不要转身安吉
so, Angie, do not turn around.
天啊那是负鼠
Oh, my God. That's a possum.
-我家有只负鼠 -是的
- There's a possum in my house. - ?Yeah.
看上去不友善而且有点饥渴啊
It looks really mean and a little bit horny.
是啊
Yeah.
它是怎么进来的
How did it get in here?
肯定是在我们补墙之前进来的
We must have sealed it in.
我们该怎么办
Oh, what do we do?
冲向地堡
We make a dash for the bunker...
但是要慢
...but slowly...
-以免打草惊蛇 -好的
...so as not to alarm it. Right.
-喵喵步 -喵喵步好的
- Kitten feet. - Kitten feet. Yeah.
-喵喵步 -喵喵步
- Kitten feet. - ?Kitten feet.
-喵喵步 -喵喵步
- Kitten feet. - ?Kitten feet.
喵喵步停
Kitten feet. Stop! ?
我也不想听上去像个女权主义婊
Okay, so, I don't want to sound like a bad feminist,
但那些贱♥人♥是谁
but who are these bitches?
我的悲伤互助团
This is my grief support group.
悲伤互助团
A grief support group?
道格拉斯你为什么不告诉我
Douglas, why didn't you tell me?
我谁也没说
I didn't tell anyone.
我特地没告诉你
And I wasn't gonna tell you especially because
是因为我了解女人
I know how you women are. ?
天啊
Oh, boy.
我是说如果在鸡笼放了太多的母鸡
All I'm saying is, if you put too many hens in the coop,
它们就会开始互啄
well, then they start pecking at each other.
争夺公鸡是它们的天性
You know, it's their nature to fight over the rooster.
新人难寻记住那些交友应用
It's so hard to meet people. Remember the apps.
重点是
Okay, the point is,
即使像你这样的现代女性
even for a modern woman like yourself,
我不想让你看到
I think it's better for our relationship
我在女人们面前示弱
if you don't see me being vulnerable
这也是为了咱俩的恋爱关系好
in front of a bunch of women.
不然你会争强好胜的
You'll get competitive,
我不想看你炸毛
and I don't want to see your feathers all in a bunch.
我这只母鸡可没那么容易发怒
Well, this hen doesn't ruffle so easily.
我为什么要顺着你的比喻说
Why am I continuing with your metaphor?
这是我的专业领域道格拉斯
What I mean to say is, this is my sweet spot, Douglas.
我以弱势女性互助为基础
I founded a whole business
建立了一个完整的企业
based on vulnerable women supporting each other.
我们还卖♥♥书呢
Plus, we sell books.