单亲

Single Parents S02E06

Part 1 Nov. 24, 2019, 3:16 p.m.

孩子们居然不肯说
I can't believe the kids won't tell us
今年他们要打扮成什么
what they're going as this year.
我一想到这个小腿就冒汗
Like, I'm having the shin-sweats just thinking about it.
肯定是他们五个人商量好了
Must be a group thing with the five of them.
但是不好猜
But nothing obvious.
罗里不喜欢拍脑门的主意
Rory can't stand first-thought ideas.
千万别让他提起"芝士工厂"
Don't even get him started on the name "Cheesecake Factory."
让我想想
Well, let's see.
我们有三个女孩两个男孩
We have three girls and two boys.
我想这个干嘛
I don't even know why I'm trying to figure it out.
我真的没兴趣
I really could not care less.
米基你确定你可以
Alright, Miggy, you're sure you're good
在我家发万圣节糖果吗
to hand out Halloween candy at my house?
任务很艰巨啊
It's a big job.
你得恐怖一点
You gotta keep it spooky,
具体就是吓人超自然我的妈
which is an acronym for "Scary," "Paranormal," "Oh, no,"
我的天离我远点
"Oh, God," "Keep that thing away from me," "Yay!"
淡定我明白
Chill. I get it.
我开门发糖关门
I open the door, I hand out candy, I close the door.
杰克和我能搞定
Jack and I got it covered.
你把他扮成了《荒岛余生》同款排球
You made him the volleyball from "Cast Away"?
是的我想找个人聊天
Yeah, I wanted someone to talk to.
米基你儿子穿常服也可以聊天啊
Miggy, you can talk to your son when he's in regular clothes.
我们准备好了我们来啦
We're ready! Here we come!
你你们是陪陪审团吗
Are -- Are you guys j-jury duty?
天啊他们扮成了我们
Oh, God. They're us.
我卖♥♥关于红酒的书
I sell books about wine.
差不多吧
More or less, yeah.
我是个律师还开小货车
I have a law job and I drive a minivan.
不错她说了两个点
Cool. She gave me two things.
我有三米高
I'm 10 feet tall.
网络还没发明的时候
You know, I couldn't even buy jeans
我连牛仔裤也买♥♥不到
until the Internet was invented.
我讨厌鞋里有沙但我想养活我的宝宝
I hate sand in my shoes but like keeping my baby alive.
这简直就是《周六夜现场》
Yo, this is like "SNL"!
哪位好人帮个忙把奶油芝士递给我吧
Could someone be a mensch and pass the schmear?
我没懂啊这不是我
I don't get it. That's not me.
那就是你
Okay, that's you.
但她为什么把我演成犹太人
Yeah, but why is she doing me Jewish?
你不是犹太人吗
You aren't Jewish?
不是
No.
但这就是你的精髓
It's your essence, though.
我都是自己拿奶油芝士的
I always get my own schmear.
单亲
第二季第六集
看
Look.
我刚给南瓜雕上最后几笔
I just put the finishing touches on our pumpkin.
看起来真棒
Oh, this looks great.
各位看看
Everybody, check it out.
这是鲁思·巴德·金斯伯格
It's Ruth Bader Ginsburg
按着两个小的金斯伯格的肩膀
shoulder-pressing two smaller Ruth Bader Ginsburgs
她俩又按着更多金斯伯格的肩膀
shoulder-pressing even more Ruth Bader Ginsburgs.
分形几何学
It's a fractal.
现在所有东西都有名字
Everything's gotta be something now.
倒是提醒我了所有人别动
Oh, which reminds me, before anybody moves,
先对着特蕾西庆生录像打个招呼吧
can you all wave hi to Tracy for her birthday video?
-生日快乐 -生日快乐
- Happy birthday. - Happy birthday.
太棒了谢谢
Awesome. Thank you.
苏菲告诉所有人
Sophie, I want you to tell everybody
五分钟后大家都坐好
I want butts in seats and pumpkins on laps
把南瓜放在腿上
in five minutes.
等等所以今天是特蕾西生日吗
Okay, wait, so, it's Tracy's birthday?
是的她在一家叫软垫病室的
Yeah, she's having a party
奇葩酒吧开派对
at some weird bar called The Padded Cell.
她有从波兰过来的亲戚
She's got family coming in from Poland.
他们不带香肠
No, they are not bringing sausage,
而且这么问很不礼貌
and, yes, it was offensive to ask.
你夹在女朋友和女儿之间了吗
Caught between your girlfriend and your kid?
完全没问题
It's been totally fine.
我直接当面问她
I went to her directly, and I said,
"你介意我去不了你的派对吗"
"Are you okay with me missing your party?"
她说"不介意"
And she said, "Yes."
你知道我想去你的派对
Hey, you know I want to be at your birthday,
但那天是万圣节
but it's Halloween.
没问题对吗
That's okay, right?
行吧
Yaiyse.
亲爱的
Oh, honey.
"行吧"不是肯定
"Yaiyse" Is not a yes.
"行"后面加上字就是否定
When there are that many letters in the word "Yes," It's a no.
所以你觉得她不开心了吗
So, you think she's upset?
是
Ya.
听见我说得多么简短了吗
See how few letters my "Yes" Had in it?
这表明我很肯定
That's how sure I am.
天啊我以为我把
Aw, man. I thought I was balancing
孩子和女友的事情处理得很好呢
the whole kid-girlfriend thing perfectly.
关键在于
Alright, look, the trick is
你要让特蕾西觉得她是第一位的
that you have to make Tracy feel like she is a priority,
哪怕今晚是一年里对小孩最重要的一晚
even though this is the most important night in the kid year.
就像《美国总统》里一样
It's like in "The American President," right?
国家为先
The country comes first,
但安迪还是忘不了西德尼
but Andy still can't completely screw over Sydney.
好吧所以这两者之间
Okay. So, how does that --
姐妹这是我最喜欢的电影之一
Girl, that is one of my favorite movies.
你想跟我在手♥机♥上看个片段吗
You want to watch a scene real quick on my phone?
必须的
Uh, yes.
这就是女人
Well, that's women for ya.
她们一针见血地指出问题
You know, they're quick to point out a problem,
然后当你需要解决方案时
and then when you need a solution,
她们就去手♥机♥上看迈克尔·道格拉斯了
they're watching Michael Douglas on their phones.
我得想个办法
Okay, I need to figure this out.
我觉得我能赶到特蕾西的派对
I think I can actually make it to Tracy's party,
迅速跟她打个招呼
drop in for a quick hello,
然后回学校赶上"动手"大赛
and make it back to the school in time for the Jack-Off.
什么玩意
The what now?
现在小孩子都这么叫
Well, that's what the kids have started calling
南瓜雕灯比赛了
the jack-o'-lantern contest.
说得容易鱼和熊掌不可兼得
Breezing through, you're not gonna be able to make both,
毕竟万圣节这么堵
not with Halloween traffic.
要不这样让托尼载你
This is what you do -- You get Tony to drive you.
他开得超快的
He's insanely fast.
他是《追追追》1和3的特技车手
He was the stunt driver on "Smokey and the Bandit" 1 and 3.
那《追追追2》呢
But not "Smokey and the Bandit II"?
他不喜欢剧本
Didn't like the script.
爸爸他们快到了
Daddy? They're coming.
太棒了苏菲
Oh, great. Um, Sophie,
我可能要晚点才能一起过万圣节
I-I think I'm actually gonna be a little late to Halloween.
为什么
Why?
大人谈恋爱的时候
when grown-ups are in an adult relationship --
他要去买♥♥救生圈糖果
He has to go pick up Life Savers.
但你能赶上南瓜雕灯比赛吧
But you'll be back in time for the pumpkin contest?
-肯定的 -我们今年势在必得
- Oh, yeah. - We're gonna win this year, for sure.
第一名奖品是30块的丹尼斯礼品卡
First-place prize is a $30 gift card to Denny's.
救生圈糖果
Life Savers?
这不就救了你吗
It's right there in the name.
好了我们出发吧
Alright, alright, let's go.
去山顶小学的到这来
Everyone leaving for Hilltop, please step forward.
妈妈安吉别急
Not so fast, Mom and Angie.
我和罗里有事要说
Rory and I have something to say to you.
我们现在是大孩子了
We've decided that we're big kids now,
我们过万圣节就不用你们跟着了
and we can handle Halloween without you.
我们当众跟你们讲这个事情
We're telling you in front of other people