单亲

Single Parents S02E08

Part 1 Nov. 24, 2019, 3:16 p.m.

感恩节就这么开始了吗
So, this is how we're kicking off Thanksgiving, huh?
看二年级班长
Watching a second-grade president
下令赦免火鸡
on a power trip pardon a turkey?
可悲的是这就是我本周的亮点
Sad thing is, this is the highlight of my week.
别吐槽罗里了他药准备连任
Give Rory a break. He's running for re-election.
我整晚都在帮他
I spent all night helping him
模仿贝拉克·奥巴马
with his Barack Obama impression.
听着我想说清楚
Uh, look, uh, I want to be clear.
-?模仿得不错啊 -谢谢
- ?That's pretty good. - Thanks.
米基马上就到
Miggy's gonna be a minute.
安检不让他过
He's stuck in the security line.
这不合适吧
This ain't right.
这是我们的工作
We all got a job to do.
班主任我看到你的咖啡站了
Hey, Room Parent, I saw your coffee station.
我感觉那些咖啡豆好像不合格
A little worried those beans weren't farmed responsibly.
你感觉的没错请走开
Yeah, that's because they weren't. Move along, please.
普朗斯图勒她刚和男朋友分手
Pronstroller -- she just broke up with her boyfriend,
所以现在她所有的精力都放在我身上了
so now all of her extra energy is directed on me.
她昨晚给我发短♥信♥
She texted me last night,
问我对无性别心肺复苏假人有什么看法
asking if I was okay with non-gendered CPR dummies.
我对这些事压根没有意见
?I have no opinion in these matters.
我告诉你那个女人需要一个男人
Tell you what I do know -- that woman needs a man.
威尔你帮我摆平吧
Will, why don't you take her off my hands?
我在和其他人交往
I'm dating someone.
特蕾西·弗里兹
Tracy Freeze?
我说了我要带她参加你家的感恩节派对
I told you I'm bringing her to your Thanksgiving?
米基
Hey, Miggy.
你们知道如果你在这所学校没有孩子
Did you know if you don't have kids at this school,
他们就会标记你吗
they put you on a list?
听好了你和我
Check this -- you and me,
咱俩是感恩节唯一的单身失败者
we're gonna be the only single losers at Thanksgiving.
你听了肯定很难过
Oh, you're not gonna love this,
我已经和人交往几个星期了
but, um, I've been seeing someone for a few weeks.
我们很合得来我要带她过来
We're vibing pretty hard! I'm gonna bring her.
真的吗
Really?
所以单身桌只剩我和托尼了
So, it's just gonna be me and Tony at the singles table.
其实吧
Well, actually,
卡桑德拉和托尼和好了
Cassandra and Tony are back together again.
她不赌博了
She stopped gambling,
他也在学习如何倾听
and he's actually learning how to listen.
早上好山顶小学
Good morning, Hilltop.
今天我想利用班长特权
Today, I would like to grant a presidential pardon
赦免一位特别的客人
to a very special guest.
请欢迎饼干
Please welcome Cookies!
蓝色警报带班长离开这里快点
Code Blue! Get him out! ?Let's go! Let's go!
单亲
第二季第八集
你好托尼感恩节快乐
Hello, Tony. Happy Thanksgiving.
我以为是我来做火鸡呢
I thought I was doing the turkey,
看来我们今天有两只火鸡了
but I guess we have two turkeys.
真是幸事
What a blessing.
他又来了
Well, he's doing it again.
托尼在假期总想抢我风头
Tony always has to one-up me at the holidays.
今天就像劳动节一样
This is just like Labor Day.
你知道吗托尼是位老人
You know what? Tony is an old man.
他唯一的敌人就是时间
The only thing he's at war with is time.
我过会应该很忙
Well, looks like my hands are gonna be full,
你能帮我个忙吗
so can you do me a favor
特蕾西来了以后帮我招待一下吧
and hang out with Tracy when she gets here?
不是吧伙计
Oh, really, dude?
感恩节单身唯一的好处就是
The one good thing about being single on Thanksgiving
可以喝得昏天黑地
is being able to drink without having responsibility
不用管其他人
for anybody but myself.
-格雷厄姆不是在吗 ?-可能吧
- Isn't Graham here? ?- Probably.
很容易的你和特蕾西是朋友
Look, it'll be easy. You and Tracy are friends.
我们只说过四句话
We've said, like, four words to each other ever --
"嗨" "你好" "嘿" "鞋真好看"
"Hi," "Hello," "Hey," And "Nice shoes,"
这只是女生打招呼的方式所以不算
which is just girl-speak for "Hello," So, doesn't count.
安吉这是特蕾西和我第一次一起度假
Angie, this is Tracy and I's first holiday together,
更重要的是
and, more importantly,
这是我第一次为她做♥鸡♥
my first opportunity to cook her a bird.
所以风险很高
So the stakes could not be higher.
求你了请受点累
I'm begging you, please just put in a little effort.
今天的重点是欢聚一堂相互分享
Today is about gathering and sharing in the...
没关系托尼
Oh, no, that's fine, Tony.
我的海盐随便用
Use as much of my sea salt as you need.
狗♥娘♥养♥的
Son of a bitch.
干嘛啦客人都来了
What are we doing? The guests are arriving.
你知道这是白色感恩节
And you know this is a white Thanksgiving,
所以大家要在2点吃饭
so folks are gonna want to eat at 2:00.
在我们被流氓围困之前
I just want to savor this moment
我只想好好享受这一刻
before we're besieged with riffraff --
是的也包括我们的孩子
and yes, I am including our kids in that mix.
这么大的房♥子
Well, I don't know. It's such a big house.
可以感恩的房♥间多的是
So many rooms to give thanks in.
的确
Indeed.
包括我从没进过的房♥间
Including rooms I've never seen before.
这扇门锁上了
Oh, that door's locked.
我们能打开吗
Can we unlock it?
不要用问题来破坏性感的气氛
Let's not ruin the sensual atmosphere with questions.
该接客了
Time to play host.
好吧
Okay.
抱歉门里面有什么
Sorry, but what's behind the door?
老娘非要打开
Oh, your ass gonna get opened.
这才是生活
This is the life.
我们为什么要等到假期才可以放松
Why do we need to wait for holidays to relax?
每周四都应该这样
Every Thursday should be like this.
艾玛·福格蒂下班了
Emma Fogerty's off the clock.
能放松一下真好
Feels good to let the gut out.
好吧我去开门
Fine, I'll get it.
躺五秒钟都不行
Got forbid I lay down for five seconds.
霍米莉·普朗斯图勒老师
Ms. Homily Pronstroller!
格雷厄姆种族灭绝日快乐
Graham. Happy Genocide Day.
我的老师
My teacher.
来我的临时家里
In my temporary home?
那谁在看着学校
Who's watching the school?
朋友们
Hi, friends.
我们今天干什么
Uh, what are we doing with our day?
不会光躺着吧
I hope we're not just lying around.
不不会
Um...no. No. ?
我们穿着舒适的裤子
We are in our comfy pants...
因为我们在排练感恩节的话剧
because we are rehearsing our Thanksgiving play.
我相信它会反映出我教你们的一切
Well, I'm sure it'll reflect everything I've taught you
而不是对传统节日的刻板印象
and not traditional holiday stereotypes.
太好了现在我们得想一出话剧出来
Great. Now we got to come up with a play.
完蛋了
We're screwed.
你们还记得感恩节主要是关于什么吗
Do any of you even remember the Thanksgiving unit?
不记得
No.
我还以为今天自己可以不指导话剧呢想啥呢
If I thought I wasn't gonna direct a play today, I was crazy.
去桑拿室
To the sauna!
好吧你真的打算把这个放这里
Okay, so you're really just gonna let it sit...
-你在和老师交往 -没错
- You're dating the teacher? ?- Yeah.
你以为我去你家孩子
Did you think I was hanging
上学的地方是毫无目的吗
out at your kids' school for no reason?
你们都不觉得奇怪吗
And none of you said anything?
这太棒了
Oh, this is fantastic.
我正希望她能重新开始交往
I was hoping she'd start dating again
好让她有自己的生活别再指使我♥干♥这干那了
so she'd have more in her life than just ordering me around.
米基我头脑简单的朋友
Miggy, my simple friend,
你是我祈祷的答案
you are the answer to my prayers.
我们有电光火石的情愫
Our vibe is electric.