单亲

Single Parents S02E12

Part 4 June 24, 2020, 4:08 p.m.

Do you have an air horn?
什么没有我又不是早间广播主持人
What? No, I'm not a morning radio deejay.
我没有汽笛
I do not have an air horn.
安吉波比
Angie? Poppy?
-你们是谁 -你最可怕的噩梦
- Who are you? - ?Your worst nightmare.
没错你最可怕的噩梦帅小贼
Yeah, your worst nightmare, you hot biatch!
你们以为自己是谁啊
Who do you guys think you are?
你还背叛米基搞笑吗
You, cheating on Miggy? Really?
我应该用安吉的小望远镜打烂你的狗头
I should bust you over the head with Angie's spyglass.
不波比这是我赢的
No, Poppy! I earned this.
你们这些小屁孩太放肆了
You kids do whatever you want without any regard
根本不考虑这个社会设立的界限
for the boundaries we've agreed on as a society.
-波比 -你们直接邀请别人陪你做超声检查
- Poppy -- - ?You just invite people to your ultrasound
逼人家去确认宝宝的性别
and force-confront them with your baby's sex,
完全不在乎别人的感觉
never considering how that might be making them feel!
-什么玩意 -波比你跑题了
- What's that, now? - Uh, Pop, you're veering.
我发现了我再圆回来
I hear it. I'm bringing it home.
-你们 -波比
- You -- - ?Poppy!
我就觉得我听见了你那老妈子的可怕谩骂声
I thought I heard your scary, scoldy mom voice.
你们在这里干嘛
What are you guys doing here?
你在这里干嘛
What are you doing here?
你们认识我的女朋友霍米莉
Oh, you know my girlfriend, Homily.
这是布莱恩我们的男朋友
And this is Brian, our boyfriend.
我们过来只是因为
We were just barging in 'cause...
安吉要用你家厕所
Angie's got to use your toilet.
她拉肚子了
It's a diarrhea thing.
老姐不是吧为什么
Dude, seriously. Why?
你们三个在相互恋爱吗
Okay, so the three of you are dating each other?
是的我们是三人夫妇
Yeah, we're a throuple.
我从未如此快乐
I've never been happier.
我现在就给我妈打电♥话♥
I-I-I call my mom now.
我不知道这有啥关系
I don't know how that relates.
靠你们厉害啊
Dang. Y'all are cheesin' hard.
米基你和男人约过会吗
Miggy, did I even know you dated guys?
你见过他的男朋友
No, you've met his boyfriends before.
记得小胖·马里奥·洛佩兹吗
Remember Chubby Mario Lopez?
以防你不记得了
Yeah, if you're confused,
他长得跟马里奥·洛佩兹一样就是胖点
he looked exactly like Mario Lopez but chubby.
是的他很酷
Oh, yeah, he was dope.
好吧看来我是知道的
Okay, I guess I did know.
抱歉我的这个旧脑篮子洞太多了
Sorry, this old brain basket of mine's got a lot of holes in it.
没关系姐们
It's all good, bro.
我不喜欢标签
I don't really dig labels.
我更注重感觉
It's just more of the vibe for me.
现在我跟两人来电
And right now, I'm vibin' double.
-安吉不行 -什么我不能抛媚眼吗
- Angie, no. - ?What, I can't wink?
你不属于他们
You are not part of the group.
我有个问题
I have a question.
抱歉我怕听起来像个老千禧一代
Sorry to sound like the old Millennial,
这到底是怎么回事
but how does this work?
有人会觉得被冷落了吗
Anybody ever feel left out or...?
我们有个三管齐下法
We have a three-pronged approach
来解决棘手的问题
for working through the sticky stuff --
完全诚实积极倾听
radical honesty, active listening,
开诚布公
and open communication.
然后就成功了
And it just works.
我都想参加三人夫妇了
Well, now I want to be in a throuple!
你们怎么认识的
How did you guys meet?
有个多方约会应用"大床"
Oh, there's a poly dating app. It's called Big Bed.
布莱恩你在用吗
And, Brian, you're on it?
好吧
Okay.
苏菲·库珀今天下午三点
Sophie Cooper, at 3:00 p.m. This afternoon,
我正在爬进我的室内吊床
I was crawling into my indoor hammock,
准备聆听一本关于自我同情的有声读物
firing up an audiobook on self-compassion.
我刚把猫放下小睡一会
I had just put down my cat for a nap.
好的
Okay.
那时候你在哪里
Where were you at that time?
我在购物中心购物
I was shopping at the center for...shopping?
鹰岩商场一楼克莱尔饰品店
The Eagle Rock mall. First floor. Claire's.
一个人吗
By yourself?
不是道格拉斯放学后带我和艾玛艾米一起去的
No, Douglas took me with Emma and Amy after school,
然后他送我回家了所以他在这里
and then he brought me home, which is why he's here now.
下个问题
Next question.
我的天她成功了
My God, she's doing it.
她很会说谎啊
She's good at lying.
我们成功了我们摧毁了她的内在良心
We did it. We destroyed her inner conscience.
现在她势不可挡
Now there's no stopping her.
也许是时候撕掉哈佛保险杠贴纸了
May be time to break out that Harvard bumper sticker.
但我可以告诉你
Though, I can tell you one thing,
还是比不上纽约州立大学水牛城分校
can't hold a damn candle to SUNY Buffalo.
你买♥♥东西了吗
Did you purchase anything?
嗯两个束发带
Yes, two scrunchies
和一条画着肌肉男的毛巾
and a towel with a drawing of a muscled body on it.
我爸爸喜欢玩笑毛巾
My dad loves joke towels.
好吧
Alright.
你的说辞没有问题
Seems like you have your story straight.
不知道现在该怎么办了
Don't know what to do now.
毫无头绪
Got no leads.
看来老雅布斯又要过个超棒的周末了
Sounds like another A-plus weekend for old Yarbs.
反正已经过了62年
Well, 62 bad years under my belt.
多一个又何妨
What's one more?
没错这周末是我的生日
Yeah, it's my birthday.
谢谢爸爸
Thanks, Dad.
既然我已经失去了讨厌的道德感
Man, now that I've lost that pesky moral-compass thing,
我们赶紧填满苏菲架吧
let's fill up that Sophie shelf until it explodes!
人无良则无敌
I'm riding these hollow insides to the top.
等等雅布尔副校长
Wait! Vice Principal Yarble!
你喊什么喊我就在这
You're screaming. I'm right here.
苏菲在撒谎但是我让她这么做的
Sophie's lying, but I-I told her to lie.
都是我的错
It's my fault.
爸爸别啊
Dad, no!
不我让她误入歧途
No, I led her astray.
我们不该掩饰这件事
We should never have tried to cover this up.
没错其实是她偷了鸟
The truth is, yes, she stole the bird, okay?
但只是因为她听从了良心的呼唤
But only because she was following her conscience.
爸爸
Dad!
我们差点就躲过一劫了
We were getting away with it.
没错但是代价呢
Yeah, but at what cost, bud?
你那么善良你应该继续从心
You have such a great heart, and you should always follow it.
管它有什么后果
Consequences be damned.
谁在乎我只能在梦中拥有费莉希蒂的卷发
Who cares if I only have Felicity's curly hair in my dreams?
听着她人生唯一的罪行
Look, the only crime was her lie,
就是我让她撒谎
and I told her to do that.
所以如果你要怪谁就怪我吧
So if you're gonna blame anybody, blame me.
好吧我会怪你
Okay. I will blame you.
-谢天谢地 -还有她
- Oh, thank God. ?- And her.
什么但是但是她什么也没做
What? But -- But she didn't do anything.
她都不是故意要杀鸟的
She didn't even mean to kill the bird.
鸟死了
The bird's dead?!
现在是你在大喊大叫
Okay, well, now you're screaming.
听着我们俩都会接受一切惩罚
Look, both of us will accept any punishment coming our way.
这件事跟你有什么关系
And what was your part in all this?
没关系
Oh, nothing.
我只是来朋友家转转
Just hanging with my buds.
完活该算账了
Deed's done. Time to settle up.
我们按小时或者遗体重量收费
We can charge by hour or by weight of the remains.
我的女儿从来不留指纹雅布尔
My girls don't leave prints, Yarble.
你没法证明的
You'll never be able to prove anything.
生日快乐
Happy birthday.
三人夫妇看上去真幸福
That throuple seemed so happy
而且支持彼此