单亲

Single Parents S02E08

Part 3 Nov. 24, 2019, 3:16 p.m.

I've got to talk to you. Wait, what are you doing?
道格拉斯不告诉我这扇门后面有什么
Douglas won't tell me what's behind this door,
所以我要撬进去
so I'm breaking in.
好吧我的事情更有料
Yeah. My thing's more interesting.
听着听好了
Look. Get this, alright?
威尔的女朋友特蕾西·弗雷兹
Will's girlfriend, Tracy Freeze,
说她不喜欢苏菲
said she doesn't like Sophie.
重磅猛料
Bombshell.
-等等这算什么重磅猛料 -因为
- Wait. How is that a bombshell? - Because.
如果道格拉斯说罗里很烦人你不会生气吗
Wouldn't you be upset if Douglas said Rory was annoying?
道格拉斯肯定觉得罗里很烦人
Oh, I'm pretty sure Douglas does find Rory annoying,
醒醒孩子就是很烦人
because -- news flash -- kids are annoying.
这句话应该拿来当避孕套的口号♥
Ooh, that should be a slogan for condoms.
总之安吉你没有小题大做吧
Anyway, Ang, please tell me you didn't make a big deal out of this.
放心好吗
Relax, alright?
虽然我内心很喜欢评头论足
On the inside, I was super judgmental,
但我还是明白人情世故的
but on the outside, I said all the right things.
天啊
Oh, God.
我居然说我不喜欢男朋友的女儿
I can't believe I said I didn't like my boyfriend's daughter.
这是个大问题
That is a big problem.
而且我是认真的
And also, I meant it.
我和威尔是不是完蛋了
Are Will and I doomed?
应该
I meeeeeean...
不是吧你跟她说"应该"
Oh, no. You "I meaned" Her?
"应该"很中立啊
"I mean" Is a neutral statement.
没错但是你后面拖了高音啊
Yeah, but what about the high-pitched part?
我没办法解释了
That part I can't explain.
你不觉得应该告诉威尔吗
Look, don't you think that Will should know about this?
安吉我自己还有急事呢
Okay, look, Ang, I'm on my own deadline here, okay,
所以我们得赶紧加快进度
so let's speed things along.
请求切换到婊♥子♥模式
Permission to switch into bitch mode.
批准
Permission granted.
婊♥子♥ 你干嘛呢
Bitch, what is this really about?
你挑拨别人的关系
Are you hating on other people's relationships
就因为你是这里唯一的单身吗
just because you're the only single person here?
婊♥子♥ 干嘛拿我单身说事
Bitch, do not single-shame me, alright?
虽然我是单身
I may not be in a relationship,
但至少我不会
but at least I'm not trying to
撬我男朋友锁上的门啊
break into my boyfriend's locked door.
婊♥子♥ 那个男人有个私生子
Bitch, that man had a secret son.
谁知道呢门后说不定还有个双胞胎兄弟
For all I know, there's a twin brother behind that door,
或者死掉的前妻
or -- or a dead wife
或者是我能用的非法进口护肤品
or illegally imported skin products
万一黑人也显老呢
I could use just in case black does crack.
安吉威尔和特蕾西的关系
Now, look, Ang, Will and Tracy's relationship
不关你的事
is not your business.
支持他吧他也会为你做同样的事
So just support him. He'd do the same for you.
你说得对好吗
You're right, okay?
我不纠结了
I will let it go.
但是事先声明
But for the record,
我不是这里唯一的单身
I'm not the only single person here.
那些孩子也都是单身啊
None of the kids have dates.
可不是吗婊♥子♥
Yes, bitch.
-你看到波比了吗 -没有
- Hey, have you seen Poppy? - No.
你看到特蕾西安吉米基
Have you seen Tracy or Angie or Miggy
或者我们的孩子了吗
or any of our children?
大家都去哪了
Where is everyone?
你的手怎么了
What the hell happened to your hand?
简而言之我锤了托尼的火鸡
The short version is, I punched Tony's turkey.
饶了他吧
Will you cut the guy a break?
他是个好人生活却不顺
He's a good egg, and he's had a hard life.
他见过世面
He's seen things --
通常是通过一支高能狙♥击♥枪♥见到的
usually through the sight of a high-powered rifle.
什么声音
What was that?
那是两个24岁的年轻人
That's the sound of two 24-year-olds
尝试对话的声音
attempting to have a conversation.
他们肯定是拿到了"沙漠风暴"的卡片
They must have gotten to the card that says "Desert Storm."
是啊
Right.
等等什么
Wait, what?
我们必须进攻萨♥达♥姆♥把我们逼急了
We had to invade. Saddam had us by the balls --
天啊
Oh, God!
道格拉斯你的抽认卡很棒
Hey, Douglas. Great flashcards.
你不要了吧
Hope you don't want them back.
两个小时了我们一点进展都没有
It's been two hours, and we're nowhere.
怎么办
What do we do?
其实吧我们可以演一次急诊
You know what? I say we stage a medical emergency.
苏菲你晕倒一个看看
Sophie, let me see you faint.
-你自己来 -好吧
- You do it. - ?Fine.
记笔记了宝贝们
Take notes, babies.
97年
It's '97,
我们刚刚失去了公主
and we've just lost our princess.
孩子们
Hey, guys.
谁说话了你是天使吗
Who said that? Are you an angel?
是的你们看见特蕾西了吗
Yeah. Have you seen Tracy?
没有
No.
安吉怎么回事
Hey, Angie, what the heck?
我刚收到短♥信♥ 特蕾西说她走了
I just got a text. Tracy said she left?
我的天
Oh, my God.
好吧跟我来
Okay. Come with me.
卡
And scene.
D 你想一起吗
Hey, D, you want to get in on this?
我想和你一起喝自来水吗
Do I want to drink from the faucet with you?
-我不想 -好吧
- I do not. - ?Okay.
看来你们不需要那些抽认卡了
Uh, guess you didn't need those flashcards.
我们需要我们抽到了一张"船名"
No, we did. We got to one that said "boat names,"
我就说"我不知道什么船名"
and I was like, "I don't know any,"
然后她说"我们来做♥爱♥吧"
and she was like, "Let's have sex."
你答应了还在我家里
And you obliged, in my home.
至少你们俩的关系有所进步
Well, at least things with you two are moving along.
不我们分了
Nah, we're through.
我们先私聊喜欢彼此的帖子然后滚床单
We DM'd, we liked each other's posts, we had sex.
-这就是套路 -不不不
- That's the arc. - ?No, no, no.
套路是你一直跟她交往
The arc is you keep seeing her
我就可以回到一个没有坚果过敏
so I can get back to a world with no nut allergies
大家都知道自己性别的世界
and where everyone knows what gender they are.
但我不知道我喜不喜欢普朗斯图勒
Yeah, but I don't know if I really like Pronstroller.
我根本不了解她
I barely know her.
你还不了解为什么就分手
Well, then why end it before you find out?
拜托别装得像你在乎一样
Come on. Don't pretend like you care.
我在乎
I do.
我希望你能找到女朋友
I started to like the idea of you having someone.
我不想再看你一个人戴着怪帽子
I was tired of watching you walk around alone
抱着怪宝宝的样子了
with your weird hat and weird baby.
他是很奇怪对吧
He is weird, right?
你可以继续"湿聊"
Listen, you can always go back to your BMs,
但你扪心自问一下
but you have to ask yourself --
"或许我已经可以真实的交往了"
"Maybe I'm ready for something more real."
你是说像你和波比一样吗
You mean like what you have with Poppy?
不要讨论我的私生活
Do not discuss my private life.
但是没错
But yes.
各位话剧要...
Hey, guys, the play is almost...
不
Oh, no.
我的天
Oh, God.
没人相信你罗里
No one's buying it, Rory.
老天这孩子真烦
God, this kid's annoying.
沃尔特餐馆
无尽的单人感恩节晚餐
沃尔特餐馆这地方不是
Walter's? Isn't this place
没家人没爱人没希望的人来的吗
for people without families, loved ones, or hope?
不沮丧不绝望无信♥号♥♥
No depression, no despair, no service.
不特蕾西在这里
Oh, no. Tracy is here.
这都是我的错