小谢尔顿

Young Sheldon S06E21

Part 3 May 22, 2023, 5:39 p.m.

You've never changed a diaper?
一次都没有
Not a one.
可你有孩子也有孙子啊
You have kids. And grandkids.
你怎么逃过换尿布这一差事的
How did you get away with never changing a diaper?
其实也不容易
Mm. It wasn't easy.
不过面对重要的事情
When there's something important to you,
人总会想到办法的
you find a way.
也许我们可以到你家过夜
Maybe we can do a sleepover at your place.
为什么不能在这里
Why can't we do it here?
米希
Missy.
这就是原因
That's why.
给我滚啦
Go away.
为什么你们又在密谋什么
Why? What secret plot are you hatching now?
他到底哪根筋不对
What's wrong with him?
每根筋都搭错了
Literally, everything.
米希
Missy.
-他会打我们的小报告吗 -不会
- Is he gonna rat us out? - No.
他是天才但也是傻♥逼♥ 看好了
He's really smart but also really dumb. Watch.
进来谢尔顿
Come in, Sheldon.
-什么事 -我研读德国史后意识到
- What? - I've been reading up on German history
面对违规行为
and I've realized that appeasement
采取绥靖政策会导致滑坡效应
in the face of rule-breaking is a slippery slope.
就当你偷溜出去
Let's say that sneaking out was
是"占领苏台德地区"好了
your "occupying the Sudetenland."
那你的"入侵波兰"会有多可怕
What's your "invasion of Poland" going to be?
我明白了
I see it.
你到底在说什么
What are you talking about?
如果我不能向爸妈打你的小报告
If I can't tell Mom and Dad on you,
你就得保证我不在家期间
then I need you to promise you won't break
你不会再违反别的规矩
any more rules while I'm away.
行我保证滚吧
Fine, I promise. Now get out.
好极了
Excellent.
等等我怎么知道你说的是真心话
Wait, how do I know you meant that?
也许她应该发誓她句句属实绝无虚言
Maybe she should promise she was telling the truth.
那就最好了
I like that.
我发誓我句句属实绝无虚言
I promise I was telling the truth.
等等如果你做的第一个保证是谎言
Wait, if you were lying about the first promise,
那我怎么知道你第二个保证是不是也在撒谎
how do I know you weren't lying about the second promise?
我保证我没撒谎
I promise I wasn't.
他好像被你逼崩溃了
I think you broke him.
不他还会卷土重来的
No, he'll be back.
我一定会
I will.
看啊
Look at this.
-还不错 -别装淡定了
- Nice. - Oh, come on.
你是把车♥库♥当家住的人
You live in a garage.
这绝对是你人生中见过的最豪华的房♥间
This is the nicest room you've ever seen in your life.
我说了还不错啊
I said it was nice.
太舒服了
Oh, my God.
你必须来感受下这床我都不想再起来了
You have to feel this bed. I may never leave.
还行吧
Yeah, that's something.
-挺软的 -够了
- Soft. - Okay.
到底怎么回事你不想来吗
What is going on? Do you not want to be here?
干嘛我不是来了吗
What? I'm here.
按♥摩♥真的让你那么担忧吗
Are you that worried about the massage?
你不按也可以的
You know, you don't have to get one.
不是因为按♥摩♥啦
It ain't the massage.
好吧也有部分是因为按♥摩♥
Well, it's a little the massage.
他们不会摸我的屁♥股♥吧
They ain't gonna touch my butt, are they?
肯定会摸我订的专攻屁屁的情侣按♥摩♥套餐
Oh, yes. I ordered the couples' butt massage.
比普通套餐贵呢
I paid extra for it.
-真的吗 -假的傻子
- Really? - No, dummy.
算了当我没说
Oh, forget it.
我还以为你想要这样
I thought this is what you wanted--
我们单独出来
us together.
本来是想
I did.
本来你为什么改主意了
You did. What changed?
反正现在就是不一样
It's just different now.
哪里不一样了
What's "different" about it?
你好你们预订了上门的情侣按♥摩♥套装
Hi. I have you booked for an in-room couples' massage.
现在不方便
Now's not a good time.
去你的老娘要做按♥摩♥
Screw you. I'm getting a massage.
好吧但我绝不脱裤子
Fine. But I'm keeping my jeans on.
很好很好
Great.
我在想啊
Look, I've been thinking...
我们一直在争论这趟旅程该谁去
we've been making this trip about us,
但其实最该优先考虑的是谢尔顿的想法
and it should really be about Sheldon.
你说得对
I agree.
所以在谁陪他去这件事上应该听听他的意见
So... maybe he should have some say in who goes with him.
为什么你给他灌了什么迷汤
Why? What've you been telling him?
-没有啊 -乔治
- Nothing. - George.
他可能提了下搭飞机让他有点紧张
He might've mentioned he was nervous about the flight,
又说了我们飞去加州那次我处理得有多好
and how great I handled it when we flew to California, so...
是他提起还是你自己提的
Did he mention it or did you mention it?
这很难说清啦
It's tough to say, really.
你真是绝了
You are unbelievable.
谢尔顿去德国的事你♥爸♥都在你耳边
Sheldon, what has your father been telling you
-吹了什么风 -什么
- about Germany? - What?
别这样玛丽
Come on, Mary,
别把孩子给搞糊涂了
don't try to confuse the kid.
我的确没搞懂
I'm confused.
这该由他自己来选
It's his choice.
什么该由我自己来选
What's my choice?
你想让谁陪你去德国
Who you want to go to Germany with you.
我们争执你竟然让他当夹心饼干
I can't believe you're putting him in the middle.
我没让他当夹心饼干啊
I'm not putting him in the middle,
我把他当作成熟的大人对待
I'm treating him like the responsible adult that he is.
米希半夜都会偷溜出去
Missy's been sneaking out of the house at night
我担心她迟早会去打劫商场
and I'm worried she's going to rob a mall.
她可能还有偷抽烟
I also think she's smoking.
-偷溜出去你去了哪 -没去哪
- Sneaking out of the house? Where did you go? - Nowhere.
你都干了什么
What were you doing?
没干什么
Nothing.
总之你就是偷跑去某个地方干了某些事
Well, you went somewhere and did something.
汤妮娅你有什么要说的吗
Tonya, do you have anything to say?
-没 -你为什么信谢尔顿不信我
- No. - Why do you believe Sheldon and not me?
因为他是个乖乖牌而你却偷开走过我的车
Because he's a Goody Two-shoes and you stole my truck!
好吧我招了
Fine.
我们偷溜出家门但只是到处走走
We snuck out, but we just walked around.
谢尔顿说你抽烟了
Sheldon said you were smoking.
我们因此懂得了这是个坏习惯
And we learned it's a disgusting habit.
反正我是吸取教训了
I know I learned my lesson.
够了
That's enough.
进来
Come in.
玛丽乔治感谢你们打给我
Mary, George, thank you for the call.
汤妮娅向库珀叔叔和阿姨道歉
Tonya, apologize to the Coopers.
对不起
Sorry.
你的确会后悔
Oh, you're gonna be.
我们原定去诺亚方舟儿童爱畜动物园的行程取消了
Our trip to the Noah's Ark petting zoo, that's off.
反正我也瞧不上那么幼稚的地方
I'm too old for that anyway.
真抱歉我都没想到14岁已经超龄了
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize 14 was too old
不适合去摸成双成对的动物们
to pet two of many kinds of animals.
走吧
Come on.
我会打电♥话♥告诉你♥爸♥妈
Your parents are getting a phone call.
太好了这样我就能被送去那个好玩的叔叔家
Great, maybe they'll send me to live with my fun uncle.
杰瑞才不好玩而且他进戒毒所了
Jerry is not fun, and he's in rehab.
希望你暑假没什么安排
I hope you don't have any plans for the summer,
因为你别想踏出家门一步
because you're not leaving the house.
整整三个月啊
That's like three months.
你想一直关到圣诞节吗
Oh, you want to make it Christmas?
随便吧
Whatever.
反正在这个鸟不拉屎的破小镇也没什么可干的