小谢尔顿

Young Sheldon S06E05

Part 2 Oct. 29, 2022, 5:23 p.m.

走廊不允许溜滑板
Aah! No skateboarding in the hallway.
这种幼稚行径不应该继续下去
This childishness cannot be allowed to continue.
打扰了我想来告状
Hello. I need to tattle.
怎么
What?
你房♥间失火了吗
Is your room on fire?
没有啊
No.
但我看到里面在冒烟啊
But I see smoke.
好吧
Okay.
我想通报有人在走廊溜滑板
You need to know there's people skateboarding
还有人在放超大声的音乐
and playing loud music in the hallways.
那你希望我做什么呢
What do you want me to do about it?
你是宿舍的宿管
You're the resident advisor.
你得负责让别人守规矩啊
It's your job to enforce the rules.
我马上就去办
I'll get right on it.
谢谢
Thank you.
监管系统一切正常
The system works.
我明天脾气绝对要人命
Oh, I'm gonna be so cranky tomorrow.
所以你是从哪听说有赌博机卖♥♥的呢
So, how'd you hear about these poker machines?
我有认识人
I know a guy.
什么样的人啊
What kind of guy?
一个认识其他人的人
A guy who knows a guy.
那你对那个人有什么样的了解呢
Well, what do you know about that guy?
他曾拥有一艘赌船
He owned a riverboat casino.
曾拥有吗
He owned?
他有可能已经不在人世
He might be dead.
死了吗
Dead?
也可能还没啊
He might not be.
一直都没有找到他的尸体
They never found the body.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
-很刺♥激♥对吧 -是很闹心
- Exciting, huh? - No. It's upsetting.
不要这样好吗
Oh, now, come on.
你在体育用品界也那么多年了
You've been in the sporting goods business long enough.
难道你就没有过贩卖♥♥过从货车后面
Haven't you ever sold a bunch of shoulder pads
掉到路边的护肩吗
that fell off the back of a truck?
当然没有
Absolutely not.
我都是跟商誉好的品牌进货
I buy 'em from a reputable company named Tuffy.
你真无聊
Boring.
我闻到您的洗发精味了
I smell your shampoo.
靠
Aw, damn it.
你在这里坐多久啦
How long have you been sitting out there?
-整晚 -为什么呢
- All night. - And why?
你听过蝙蝠侠漫画里的阿卡姆吗
Are you familiar with Arkham Asylum from the Batmancomics?
-没有 -那是一家疯人院
- No. - Well, it's a madhouse,
我宿舍在太阳下山过后也是如此
as is my dormitory after the sun goes down.
谢尔顿我是大学的校长
Sheldon, I am the president of this university.
我不处理噪音这种小事
I don't handle noise complaints.
所以我们才设置了宿管啊
That's why there's a resident advisor.
-我去找过他啊 -然后呢
- Oh, I went to him.- And?
你也看到我像流浪汉睡在椅子上了
You saw me sleeping on the bench like a hobo.
-你说呢 -你就不能...
- What do you think? - Can't you just--
你难道就不能... 把这当做大学经历的一部分吗
I don't know-- chalk this up as part of the college experience?
如果我读的是小丑大学的话就行
Yeah, the clown college experience.
失礼了我心情很差
I'm sorry. I'm cranky.
我写下了一串
I've compiled a list of reasons
我为什么应该被指派为宿管的理由
why I should be appointed the dormitory R.A.
- 理由一 -行宿管给你当
- Number one... - Fine. You're the R.A.
好的 "理由一我喜欢规矩
Okay. "Number one: I love rules--
无论是定规矩遵守规矩
Creating them, following them,
还是最有趣的执法"
and most fun of all, enforcing them."
你就是宿管谢尔顿
You're the R.A., Sheldon.
太好了 "理由二惩罚
Excellent. "Number two-- punishment
不守规矩的人必须做到公平与无讲情面"
for rule infractions must be both fair and merciless."
鸡蛋与松饼
Eggs and pancakes.
耕了一整晚田的牛就值得吃点好的
That's what a lumberjack gets for chopping all that wood.
如果我是猛牛
I'll be Paul Bunyan,
你就是我耕不坏的良田
you can be my babe, the blue fox.
乔治你坏死了
George.
还在腻腻歪歪呢
Ugh. Still?
早安啊宝贝
Morning, honey.
你们两个这是怎么了
What is happening with you two?
你这问题是什么意思
What do you mean?
你们有人生病要去世了吗
Is one of you dying?
没有人要过世
No one's dying.
有时候已婚夫妇也是可以亲亲的啊
Sometimes, married people kiss.
电视上有戏我们家没门
On TV maybe, not here.
小姑娘你觉得你是怎么诞生到这世上的呢
Well, young lady, how do you think you came into this world?
够了我要被恶心死了
Okay, you're freaking me out.
都在这里啦童叟无欺
Here you go, as advertised.
好的货看起来很不错啊
All right. Those look good.
不用着急我们怎么知道都还好用呢
Wait. Hold on. How do we know they work?
你觉得我是哪种商人啊
What kind of operation you think I'm running here?
不知道啊比如"不良"之类的
Well, I don't know. The word "sketchy" comes to mind.
好好说话
Be cool.
不介意我们插上电试几台吧
Uh, you mind if we plug a couple in?
不介意先让我看看钱吧
Mind if you show me the money?
没问题头转过去
Sure. Turn around.
为什么
Why?
你还想不想要钱了
You want the money or not?
好了你赶紧
Okay, go ahead.
好了
Okay.
两万
20 grand.
插电让我看看
Light 'em up.
这是我这辈子见过最性感的画面了
That's the sexiest thing I've ever seen in my life.
真的吗
Really?
可我才刚脱裤子秀大雕欸
Well, I just took my pants off.
鲍尔宿舍的各位住宿生请注意
Attention, residents of Bower Hall.
我叫谢尔顿·库珀是你们的新宿管
My name is Sheldon Cooper, and I'm your new R.A.
动♥乱♥时代结束了
The age of chaos is over.
我再说一遍动♥乱♥时代结束了
I repeat, the age of chaos is over.
请你们花些时间
Please take a moment
熟悉下贴在布告栏的
to familiarize yourself with the dormitory rules
宿舍规矩
posted on the bulletin board.
没有任何借口能无视这些规矩违反者将被...
Ignorance of these rules is no excuse, and violators will be...
新规矩不准擅自使用我的扩音器
New rule. Unauthorized use of my bullhorn is forbidden.
-我再说一遍... -你丫闭嘴
- I repeat. Unauthorized... - Shut up.
有人在家吗
Anybody home?
太好了你在家啊
Oh, good. You're here.
你好
Hey.
你看我租了介绍分娩的影片
Check it out. I got this video about childbirth.
我们今晚可以一起看
I thought we could watch it tonight.
听起来也太可怕了
That sounds awful.
外盒上的确写着
Well, it does say "Contains graphic images"
"含有血腥画面"
right there on the box.
改天再看吧小乔治
Maybe some other time, Georgie.
没事我还租了《飞跃童真》
No worries. I also picked up Look Who's Talking,
主角是个会说话的宝宝内容很温和
which is just about a baby who says stuff.
如果你是想把今晚营造成约会
If you're trying to make this, like, a date night
那你想多了
or something, it's not happening.
谁说要约会了
Oh, who said anything about a date?
不过是你我二人共进晚餐后再看部电影
It's just us having dinner and watching a movie.
我们上次做完这套流程后我就怀孕了
Last time we did that I wound up pregnant.
那次约会太爽了
Mm, that was a good date.
你今晚绝不会有机会"爽"
Well, that's not happening tonight.
我懂不涉及情爱嘛
I get it. Nothing romantic.
就是两个准父母一起看分娩的奇迹
Just two future parents watching the miracle of childbirth
或是一部影评家西斯科和伊伯特赞不绝口的电影
or a movie that got two thumbs up from Siskel and Ebert.
不只这样
And not only that.
接着还有人在我的规矩表上
Then someone defaced my rule sheet
乱涂乱画睾丸
with a drawing of testicles.
这举动太幼稚了
Well, that is so immature.