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戴着有两个小孔的面具
masks with tiny, little eyeholes.
开车很容易撞上这种孩子
It's hard not to hit a kid with your car.
家长还让孩子们出去吗
And parents still let their children go out?
是啊 当然了
Oh, yes, they do.
有钱赚了
Cha-ching!
如果有人受伤 那就有钱可赚
If it's killable, it's billable.
太好了 你来了
Oh, good. You're here.
我有东西给你
I have something for you.
真好看
Oh. Neat.
谢谢你的轮滑鞋
Thank you for these wheel shoes.
你会把图蒂演得活灵活现的
You'll make the perfect Tootie.
就像这样
And just like that,
我成为了一个现实生活中的
I had become a real-life
八十年代黑人情景剧角色
'80s black sitcom character.
这就意味着我的职责是制♥造♥喜剧元素
Which meant it was my job to provide comic relief
还得给白人们好好上一课
and teach white people lessons.
你喜欢喝盒装果汁
So, you like juice boxes, huh?
你知道谁也喜欢喝盒装果汁吗
You know who else likes juice boxes?
黑人
Black people.
好吧
Oh. Okay.
我妈妈给我带的
My mom packed it for me, so...
这样啊
Cool.
你们知道谁也有妈妈吗
Do you know who else has moms?
黑人
Black people.
黑人的事情你知道的不少啊
You know a lot of random black facts.
我当时还在学习当一个"半黑人"的技巧
Okay, I was still getting the hang of being a magical half-negro.
但我想让她们知道我们是一样的
But I wanted the girls to see that we are all the same.
我姨妈也很喜欢麦当娜
You know, my aunt really likes Madonna, too.
这说得通
Oh, that makes sense...
因为你有一半白人血统 是吧
because you're half-white, right?
其实我的丹丹姨妈是黑人
Actually, my Aunt Dee-Dee's black.
黑人喜欢各种音乐
Black people like all kinds of music.
真不错 我给你录个混音带吧
Oh, cool. I'll make you a mixtape.
再见
See you later.
感觉真棒
What a rush!
我就像外国领土上的秘密特工
It felt like I was a secret agent in foreign territory,
不断地改变想法
changing hearts and minds.
不过和秘密特工一样
But like any secret agent...
你的伪装会被揭穿
your cover can be blown.
好了
All right,
这是万圣节最精彩的部分了
this is the best part of Halloween...
决定你想扮成什么
figuring out what you want to be.
我小时候都扮成电影里的角色
When I was a kid, we used to go as characters from the movies.
你们最喜欢的电影是什么
So what's your favorite movie?
《魔茧》
"Cocoon."
1985年的喜剧科幻片
《魔茧》
"Cocoon."
还有别的吗
Anything else?
没了
Nope.
那我来定吧
I'll figure this out.
《星球大战VI 绝地归来》
那是卢克·天行者
That's Luke Skywalker!
《星球大战》系列电影的重要角色之一
-抓住他们 卢克 -抓住他们
- Oh! Get 'em, Luke! - Get 'em!
是贾巴
It's Jabba!
《星球大战》中作恶多端的怪物
不要 到右边去
No! Go right!
这是我们离开公社后的第一个万圣节
It was our first Halloween off the commune,
爸爸希望约翰和圣莫妮卡
and Dad wanted Johan and Santamonica to have
经历一次最难忘的"不给糖就捣蛋"
the greatest trick-or-treating experience ever.
所以他克服万难
So he pulled out all the stops
做出社区里最炫酷的服装
to build the greatest costumes the neighborhood had ever seen.
而他面前唯一的阻碍就是…
And the only thing that stood in his way was...
-妈妈 -妈妈
- Mommy! - Mommy!
看看你们俩
Wow! Look at you guys!
你们会在学校里吸引眼球的
You're gonna look amazing at school.
我等不及去"不给糖就捣蛋"了
I can't wait to go trick-or-treating.
等一下
Slow down.
谁说要去"不给糖就捣蛋"
I mean, who said anything about trick-or-treating?
什么意思 这有问题吗
What do you mean? Is that... Is that a problem?
问题很大
It's a huge problem.
可这是孩子们第一个万圣节
But it's the kids' first Halloween.
他们为什么不能去"不给糖就捣蛋"
Why wouldn't they go trick-or-treating?
...泡泡糖里藏着很小很小的刀片
...teeny, tiny razor blades in bubble gum.
如果有人受伤 那就有钱可赚
If it's killable, it's billable.
万圣节不再像以前了
Halloween isn't the same anymore.
太多可怕的事可能会发生
There's just way too many bad things that can happen.
甜心 和我们小时候一样
Oh, sweetheart, it's the same harmless fun
乐趣多多 没有伤害
we had when we were their age.
不一样了
No. It's not.
所以没有万圣节了吗
So no Halloween?
我没说我们不能庆祝万圣节
Look, I'm not saying we can't celebrate Halloween.
我们可以在家过一个愉快的万圣节
In fact, we can have a great one right here.
我们甚至可以开个万圣节派对
We can throw a Halloween party if you want.
我们可以雕南瓜
We could carve pumpkins and...
咬苹果
bob for apples
玩"在巫婆头上钉帽子"的游戏
and play "Pin the Hat on the Witch."
没有人会在万圣节的时候来参加派对
Nobody's gonna come to a Halloween party on Halloween.
他们都在"不给糖就捣蛋"
They'll all be trick-or-treating.
我们会想办法搞定的
Well, we'll figure it out.
你得劝劝你老婆
You need to do something about your wife.
我们彩排的时候见
So, we'll see you later for practice?
除非我先看到你了
Not if I see you first.
就算我先看到你 我还是会在练习的时候见到你
But even if I see you first, I'll still see you at practice.
我和白人女孩的关系有所进展
I was making progress with the white girls,
但是黑人女孩呢
but the black girls?
你看见塔米克看我的表情了吗
Well, you see how Tamika was looking at me.
你为什么老盯着我看 好像我很臭
Why do you keep looking at me like I smell bad?
你为什么老跟她们在一起
Why do you keep hanging out with them?
我在了解她们
I'm getting to know them.
因为我们有很多共同点
Because, you know, we all have so much in common.
她们有妈妈 她们喜欢喝果汁
They have moms, they like juice.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
你应该找时间跟我们一起玩
I'm saying you should come hang out with us sometime
来了解她们
and get to know them.
不了 我妈说白人女孩头上有虱子
Nah. My mom said white girls have head lice.
如果你想解决种族主义
When you're trying to fix racism,
有很多方法...
there are many approaches...
游♥行♥ 抗♥议♥ 措辞巧妙的话题标签
marches, protests, a cleverly worded hashtag.
但一时冲动之下 我选择贿赂
But in the heat of the moment, I chose bribery.
好
Okay.
但她们的午餐里有好吃的
But they have awesome things in their lunches.
有什么 水煮鱼吗
What, like hot fish?
我倒想呢
I wish.
但不是
But no.
我是说夹馅面包
I'm talking Twinkies.
每天都有
Every single day.
如果你客气一点 她们会分你一个的
And if you ask nicely, they'll give you one.
午饭的时候和我们坐在一起 拜托
Just come sit with us at lunch. Please?
我会吃夹馅饼的
I'd eat a Twinkie.
然后 我们在桶里灌满水
Then, once we've filled the barrel with water
把苹果放进去
and we add the apples,
晃来晃去咬苹果好玩极了
the bobbing is gonna be off-the-charts crazy fun!
你知道我不会游泳
You know I can't swim.
这是我出生的那个桶吗
Is that the barrel I was born in?
不是
No.
爸爸 为什么我们不能去"不给糖就捣蛋"
Dad, why can't we just go trick-or-treating?
没错
Yes!
拜托
Guys, come on.
妈妈的态度强硬
Your mom feels strongly about this.
我支持她
And... And I support her.
老公支持老婆很重要
It's very important for a husband to support his wife.
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