老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E22

Part 2 April 12, 2020, 10:02 a.m.

不我想听你说 "我明白了我同意"
No. I need you to say, "I hear you and I agree."
我明白了走着瞧吧
I hear you... and we'll see.
走着瞧前面三个就是这么来的
"We'll see" Is how we got the first three!
-安迪还疯狂想生小孩 -对啊
- Andi still have baby fever? - Yeah.
她在冲澡的时候唱摇篮曲
She's singing lullabies in the shower.
又不是芭芭拉·史翠珊
And she's no Barbra Streisand.
我家情况也不怎么好
Yeah, things aren't great at my house, either.
玛茜为了当奶奶这件事特别不爽
Marcy's in a tailspin about being a grandma.
已经说到要去拉皮了
There's been talk of a facelift.
是吗
Really?
是现在她的情绪
Yeah. I mean, I have a hard enough time
我都很难懂了
reading her moods as it is.
如果她的脸僵成一个表情我死定了
If they freeze her face in one expression, I'm a dead man.
我有大♥麻♥烦安迪想再要一个孩子
I am in big trouble. Andi wants to have another baby.
她知道造人的过程我是喜欢的
And she knows I like doing the thing you do to make a baby.
把自己弄得对她来说没吸引力
So, make yourself less appealing to her.
我听说麦当劳又开始卖♥♥猪排堡了
Hey, I hear the McRib is back.
吃点猪排堡你就能一个人睡了
Put away a few of those and you'll be sleeping alone.
得了就算我
Please. I could be covered
全身是烧肉酱她一样会粘着我
in barbecue sauce and she'd still be all over me.
你家老婆太特别了
You got a real special woman there.
-宝贝 -什么
- Hey, baby. u202d- Hey, what...?
你真是一点时间也不浪费对吗
You're not wasting any time, are you?
怎么了
What?
老婆就不能欢迎老公下班回家吗
Can't a wife welcome her husband home after a long day?
可以但是
Yeah, but-- ooh. Yeah.
但你这不是欢迎
But that's-that's... that's not what you're doing.
好的孩子们下来
Okay, I think I... Kids, get in here!
你不能在孩子们面前对我上下其手
You can't manhandle me like that in front of the kids.
孩子们去你♥爸♥妈家了
The kids are at your parents'.
他们早上才送他们回来
They're dropping them off in the morning.
看来家里只有我们了
Guess we're alone.
做什么呢做什么呢
What to do? What to do?
我午餐吃了三个猪排堡
I had three McRibs for lunch!
我不在乎
I don't care.
我知道你不在乎因为你现在
Well, I knew you wouldn't, 'cause you're all
性激素狂飙
jacked up on lady hormones.
好了好了知道吗
Okay, right, okay, fine. You know what?
你让我别无选择
You-you-you leave me no choice.
我要关闭工厂没错
I'm shutting down the factory. That's right.
我和我的员工们要罢♥工♥
Me and my employees are going on strike.
好的
Okay.
好吧
u202dWell...
我了解你的员工们
I know your employees...
我可以让其中几个冲过警戒线
and I can get a couple of 'em to cross the picket line.
不不不
No, no. No!
所以我要跑开不不
That's why I'm running. No, no! No!
亲爱的不行这不是一个好主意
Honey, not that. Not a good idea!
你好肌肉男
Hello, muscles.
手铃干嘛的
What's with the tambourine?
你摇我跳舞
You shake it, I'll dance.
看看最后会怎样
We'll see where it leads.
我觉得最后是进精神病院
I'm gonna say straight to the mental hospital.
什么味道新香水吗
What's that smell? Is that a new perfume?
法国的叫做"好生养"
It's French. It's called Fertilité.
好了你真吓到我了
Okay, you're... you're really starting to freak me out.
亲爱的我下定决心了
Sweetie, this is happening.
把我的孩子给我
So, give me my baby! u202dWell...
不不不你
No, no, no! You...
你的手和性感手铃离我远点
keep your hands and your sex tambourine away from me!
你穿的是什么
What are you wearing?
七条裤子
Seven pairs of sweatpants.
没错
That's right.
你永远找不到要找的东西
You're never gonna find what you're looking for.
就算找到了
And even if you do,
它也在七层裤子的保护下
it will have been under seven pairs of sweatpants.
我无所谓
Doesn't bother me.
我会把你当洋葱一样剥了
I'll peel you like an onion.
不离我远点
No, you keep your distance!
我承认昨晚我不太正常
Okay, I admit that last night was not my proudest moment.
但我可以解释下我疯狂的原因吗
u202dBut can I... can I please explain my crazy?
不再近一步我就拿芥末喷你
No. No. One more step, and you're getting the mustard.
我意思是我们不再年轻了
Look, I'm just saying, we're not getting any younger.
如果我们还想再要一个孩子现在不生就没机会了
So, if we want to have another baby, it's now or never.
我们得在哨响前完成
We got to get this one in before the buzzer.
-什么哨声 -你知道篮球比赛
- What buzzer? - u202dYou know, like at a basketball game,
有人在比赛结束哨声响起之前
when the guy hits the winning shot
投进了致胜球观众都为之疯狂
right before the buzzer, crowd goes wild.
你也可以的亚当
You could be that guy, Adam.
你可以成为压哨投手
You could be the buzzer beater.
亲爱的我不能再经历照顾宝宝阶段
Honey, I can't go back to baby time again.
艾米刚刚全天上学
We just got Emme into school full-time.
你回去工作你喜欢你的工作
You're back to work, which you love.
一切顺利
Things are good.
我知道理智上来讲我明白
I know. I mean, intellectually, I get that.
但我的宝宝制♥造♥器说"给我给我给我"
But my baby-maker's all, "Give me, give me, give me."
我听到了邻居也听到了
Yeah, I hear it. The neighbors hear it.
对不起但我觉得现在很完美
I'm sorry, but I think we're perfect.
我们不需要小野洋子来拆散披头士乐队
We don't need some Yoko Ono coming in and ruining the band.
好吗求你了不要生孩子
Okay? So, please, no baby, okay?
我们这个乐队的确不错
Well, we do have a great band.
好的
Okay.
好吗
Okay?
好的
Okay.
好的
Okay.
我准备上学了
I'm ready for school.
你可以这样想我们有宝宝了
And-and if you think about it, we have a baby.
这个还可以抱起来
I mean, you can still pick this one up.
你可以这样做
And you can do this.
你可以这样做
And you can do this.
你没刷牙
You didn't brush your teeth.
去刷牙
Go brush your teeth.
为什么浴室有一大堆运动裤
why is there a giant pile of sweatpants in the bathroom?
爸爸把东西♥藏♥起来不让我找到
Daddy was hiding something from me.
艾米来亲亲
All right, Emme, let's bring it in for some kisses.
爸爸别在我朋友前这样
Daddy, not in front of my friends.
什么你在昨天还亲我了
What? Well, you kissed me yesterday.
对但我现在更大了
Yeah, but I'm older now.
拜托就一个吻这里
Come on. Just one kiss. Right here, come on.
我不是宝宝了
I'm not a baby anymore.
拜
Bye.
好伤心
Ouch.
这是我第一次
That's the first time
为你难过伯恩斯
I've ever felt sorry for you, Burns.
一瞬即逝
it's already gone.
希望这话有帮助你拥有我的免费拥抱的赠券
If it helps, you have a coupon from me for one free hug.
永不过期
Expiration date: never.
安迪是我家里见
Andi, it's me. Meet me at home.
我们造一个宝宝
We're making a baby!
你准备好了吗
You ready?
超有感觉
Feeling strong.
太剧烈了
That was intense.
我们不应该那样跑上楼梯
Yeah, we shouldn't have run up the stairs like that.
我们先休息缓一缓
Yes, let's take a minute to catch our breath,
然后再来造人
and then we are making a baby.
好
All right.
我得说
You know, I got to say,
过去几天我们做的事
what we've been doing the past few days,
肯定能造个宝宝出来
that is gonna make a baby.
我真的很开心
I am really happy about this.