老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E09

Part 3 April 12, 2020, 10 a.m.

I could tell. I'm not feeling the sexy.
我现在就为你展示我最火♥辣♥的一面
Look, I'm gonna give you one smoldering look,
我都会被自己吸引
because I know that works for me.
你现在就拿我的手♥机♥拍下来
And you're gonna take a picture on my phone,
然后再也不要提起这件事
and then we are never gonna speak of this again.
准备好了吗
You ready?
好了其实也还不错
Okay. Actually, that's not bad. u202dOh.
我现在就发送
Okay, I'm gonna send it.
糟糕
And... oops.
-艾丽西娅是谁 -什么
- Who's Alicia? - u202dWhat?
我一不小心发给了艾丽西娅·罗德里格兹
I accidentally sent it to someone named Alicia Rodriguez.
那是艾米的幼儿园老师
That's Emme's kindergarten teacher.
在你通讯录里她和安迪的名字是挨着的
Her name is right next to Andi's on your phone.
都怪我这胖手指
These fat fingers, I'm telling you.
那张照片肯定会在学校疯传的
That picture's gonna go around the whole school.
我有办法我有办法
I can fix it, I can fix it.
等等糟糕
Hold on... Oops.
又糟糕
Oops, again?
我本来想发一个抱歉
I was texting to say sorry,
结果自动更正为了"爆你"
and it autocorrected to salami.
拿给我
Give me that.
孩子们行动起来
Okay, kids. Let's move it along.
我们5分钟后就要干正事了
We're wheels up in five minutes.
抱歉我的鞋子声音太大了
Sorry my shoes are so loud.
高跟鞋嘛
High heels.
你从来不♥穿♥高跟鞋去上班的啊
You never wear high heels to work.
我打扮了一下
Well, I dressed up.
为什么
Why?
我和鲍勃一起看的厨艺节目
Well, it's the finale of the cooking show
演到最终集了
that Bob and I watch,
所以他想带我
so he's taking me out for a, you know,
去吃一顿特别的午餐来庆祝
a special lunch to celebrate.
就我们俩
Just the two of us.
我看那个鲍勃还挺好的
Got to love that Bob.
-太好了 -太好了
- Great. - u202dGreat.
抱歉哥们儿
Oh. Uh, I'm sorry, buddy.
让我给你擦擦
Let me clean you up a little bit.
好了转过去
Okay, turn around.
走吧上楼去
Let's just go, uh, up.
对了
So, um,
亚当有没有跟你说过
has Adam ever said anything to you
安迪的一个的朋友叫鲍勃
about Andi's friend, Bob?
让我想一想
Let me think.
你是说"鲍勃"还是"罗布"
Are you saying "Bob" Or "Rob"?
-鲍勃 -托德吗
- Bob. B-O-B. u202d- Todd?
你是想忽悠我什么的吗
Are you trying to hide something from me?
没有而且你也别想从我这儿套出点什么
No. And you're not gonna get the secret out of me.
我稳如泰山
I'm like a rock.
所以你的确有个小秘密
So there is a secret.
好吧我上当了
Okay, I see what I did there.
好了老实交代吧老唐
Okay. Spill it, Don.
好吧你想知道这个秘密吗
Fine. You want the secret?
亚当一定会杀了我的算了没事
Adam's gonna kill me, but okay.
我们悄悄买♥♥了一条渔船
We have a secret fishing boat
从来没跟你说过
we never told you about.
你知道我的秘密是什么吗
You want to know my secret?
我半年前就知道那条渔船了
I've known about that boat for six months.
看来你对我无所不知啊
Wow, no keeping anything from you.
所以呢
So,
没有什么关于鲍勃的事要汇报吗
nothing about Bob?
罗德吗
Rod?
老唐
Don!
我就是老唐
Well, I'm Don.
-爸爸再见 -爸爸再见
- Bye, Dad. - u202dBye, Dad.
-爸爸再见 -再见
- Bye, Dad. - Bye-bye, bye.
玩得开心再见
Have a good day. All right, bye.
早上好啊猛♥男♥
Good morning, Burns.
早上好罗德里格兹老师
Good morning, Mrs. Rodriguez.
你们喜欢那张摩托车照片就好
I'm glad everyone enjoyed the motorcycle picture.
我们还为那张照片取了个标题
Yeah, we had a little caption contest.
我取的是 "与生俱来之狂野的尴尬"
Mine was, "Born to be wild-ly embarrassed."
好了那张照片本来是要发给我老婆的
Okay, that picture was supposed to be for my wife,
但是发错了
but mistakes were made.
那你为什么要照一张骑摩托车的照片
Why are you taking pictures of yourself on a motorcycle?
除了让我发笑以外
Besides to delight me.
我不跟你说这个了
I'm not talking to you about it.
从现在起我不跟任何人讨论这件事
From now on, I'm not talking to anyone about it,
除了安迪当然我本来第一时间
except Andi, which is what I should have done
就该和她谈一谈
in the first place.
所以我要去她上班的地方找她
So, I'm gonna go find her at work
把这件事情解决了
and settle this whole thing.
好了我要去看看租个广♥告♥牌发照片
All right, and I'm see how much it costs
要花多少钱
to rent a billboard.
鲍勃我已经处理完了这些样本
Okay, Bob, I finished processing these samples
现在准备去喝杯咖啡
and I'm gonna go grab a cup of coffee.
你要喝一杯吗
You want some?
氧和钾
oxygen potassium.
-什么 -元素周期表里面
- What? - From the periodic table.
氧是"O" 钾是"K"
They're "O" And "K."
不错啊鲍勃
That's a good one, bob.
氧...
Oxygen...
你就是鲍勃吧
You must be Bob.
没错我就是
Yeah, that's right.
给我看看你这强壮的大腿
Let's get a look at those muscular thighs.
也不怎么样嘛你想看看我的大腿吗
They're not so great. You want to see my thighs?
不用了
Uh, no.
我们把大腿放一起吧
Let's put our thighs against each other.
腿贴腿来吧鲍勃来呀
Thigh to thigh. Come on, Bob, let's do this.
你是谁啊
Who are you?
我是安迪她老公你站着别动
I'm Andi's husband, now hold still.
你先别动
No, you first.
听着哥们我不喜欢
Okay, listen, pal. I don't like you
你和我老婆一起看电视节目
watching TV shows with my wife.
我不喜欢
Okay? I don't like you
你和她共享午餐
having special lunches with her,
或是让她穿高跟鞋
or making her wear high heels.
我觉得你误会了
I think there's been a misunderstanding.
看啊你正好站在一个大垃圾桶旁边
Oh, look at that, you're right next to a big trash can.
你看过动画吗
You ever watch cartoons?
亚当你在这里做什么
Adam? W-What are you doing here?
我在教训这家伙
I'm just letting this guy know
让他知道和别人的老婆发短♥信♥是不对的
it's not okay to text another man's wife.
我从来没和她发过短♥信♥啊
I never texted her.
鲍勃你真是不断地自找麻烦啊
Oh, you just keep walking into problems, Bob.
安迪已经告诉过我短♥信♥的事了
Andi told me about the texts.
是不是安迪安迪是吧
Right, Andi? Andi, I'm right, right?
安迪我说得对吗
Andi, am I right?
是这样的
Okay, um...
说起来很好笑
...funny story.
我也许提到过
I-I may have mentioned
鲍勃在和我发短♥信♥
that Bob was texting me...
但是呢
...but that was a--
我也许夸张了一点点
a slight exaggeration
怎么夸张法呢
in-in the sense that, um,
其实他从来没有给我发过短♥信♥
h-he never did anything like that, ever.
哪里好笑了
Where's the funny part to that story?
好笑的地方就是
Oh, well, um, the funny part is,
他是我老板鲍勃·汤普森
he's my boss, Bob Thompson.
确实很好笑呢
That is funny.
真好笑啊
Well, that is funny.
我希望将来有一天