老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E15

Part 4 April 12, 2020, 10:01 a.m.

我不知道
I don't know.
感觉这地方有问题
There's something about this place.
为什么到处都是坡没有台阶
Why are there ramps everywhere instead of stairs?
那是因为坡是未来的台阶
Oh, uh, that's because ramps are the stairs of the future.
对没错过不了几年
Yeah, yeah. That's right. I mean, in a few years,
你就只能在博物馆里看到台阶了
you're only gonna see stairs in a museum.
不是用来走的只能看
A-And not to walk on, just to look at.
最终人类将会
Eventually, people will be born
失去爬台阶的能力
without the ability to climb steps.
未来没有台阶
Nature has no stairs.
山峰都是自然通往天空的坡
Mountains are nature's ramps to the sky.
如果你说台阶也行
Or steps, if you will.
说的什么乱七八糟的
That doesn't make any sense.
我在大厅看到的他们这里还有
So, I read in the lobby that they have
宾果之夜歌♥剧之夜喜剧之夜
bingo, musicals, comedy nights.
还有一个餐厅在下午两点到四点
Oh, and there's a restaurant that serves dinner
提供晚餐
00 to 4:00 p.M.
我最爱在那时候吃晚餐了
I know that's when I like to eat.
听起来不错
That sounds fun.
可能我是疯了吧乔
Call me crazy but, Joe,
我觉得这个地方很适合我们俩
I-I'm thinking this place could be good for us.
你们住哇妈妈
For you? Wow, Ma.
我们从来都没想过
That never occurred to us.
对不错的
Yeah, yeah, it's not bad.
这有个小册子
Oh, here's a brochure.
不不不别看都是骗人的
Oh, no, no, no! Don't read that! That's full of lies.
中国制♥造♥的
It's made in China.
橡树区欢迎各阶段客户
"Here at the Oaks we welcome all levels of clients.
第一阶段完全自理
"A Level-- full independence.
第二阶段需要针对性帮助
"B Level-- targeted support.
第三阶段全天候看护
C Level-- live-in staff."
还有
And then
第四阶段
D Level.
第四阶段是什么
What's D Level?
只有张照片是野地里的一棵树
It's just a picture of a tree in a field.
这里是养老院
This is an old folks' home!
什么
What?!
为什么大唐和玛茜要住到养老院来
Why would Don and Marcy want to live in an old folks' home?
不是他们想住是想我们住
Well, it's not for them-- it's for us.
他们用这招忽悠我们来的
They used it as a trick to get us out here.
他们想把我们赶出他家
They want us out of the house,
可没胆量直说
but they're just too chicken to tell us.
这可太不对了玛茜
Well, that was not very nice at all, Marcy.
你希望我死在哪张椅子里
Uh, which chair would you like me to die in, huh?
这个那个还是那个啊
This one or that one or this one, right?
这就是这里的优点
That's the great thing about this place--
提供多种选择
there are so many options.
如果你想让我们走应该直接说的
If you wanted us to go, you should've just told us to go!
我不希望惹你生气
I didn't want to upset you. You know,
让你比平时火气更大
more than you are usually.
很难开口跟你说这种事
Look, it's hard to tell you stuff, all right?
我把安迪回去工作的消息告诉你了
I told you Andi went back to work,
你就给我难堪
and you gave me a hard time.
玛茜诚实
Marcy was honest
19年前跟你们说不希望跟你们住
and said she didn't want you to stay with her 19 years ago,
到今天你们还生她的气
and you're still mad at her.
哪有的事确实有
That's not true. Well, it is true,
但我不爱听你说
but I don't like the way you said it.
好吧听着只是
Okay, look, it's just...
住在我们家车道上
you know, living in our driveway,
给孩子们看验尸
showing our kids autopsies,
还从路边
stealing turtles
偷乌龟
from the side of the road.
太难接受了
It's-it's a lot to take.
我无所谓主要亚当有意见
I'm fine with it. It's just Adam.
你有话想说就说吧
You got something to say, say it.
就是啊亚当说呗
Yeah, Adam. Say it.
好吧
Fine. Okay.
我说了
Here it is.
我爱你们但你们得找你们自己的地方住
I love you, but you got to find your own place to live.
好的
Okay.
什么这就好了
Wha--? That's it? Okay?
其实我们也不爱住这
We haven't really enjoyed our time here anyway.
什么
What?
你家规矩太多了
You make too many rules.
我们不能说喜欢的故事
We can't tell stories like we like
不能看爱看的电视节目
or watch the TV shows we like.
也不能捡
Or pick up a turtle
属于全美国的乌龟
that technically belongs to any American.
我交的税
My taxes
至少能够买♥♥只路边的破乌龟了吧
have bought me at least one stinkin' street turtle.
所以我们走
So we'll go.
你们不生气吧
And-and you're not mad?
你生气吗
Are you mad?
你们不我就不
Not if you're not mad.
日常生气吧
Just the usual mad.
谁能对我们家可爱的宝贝儿子生气啊
Nobody could stay mad at our sweet boy.
他这么帅就像…
He's so handsome, just like...
那个谁来着乔
Oh. Who-who is it, Joe?
-拉里·金 -不是
- Larry King? - u202dNo.
那个演员
No. The actor.
唐·里克斯
Don Rickles?
不对那个演员有头发的
No, the actor. With the hair?
他们都有头发
Oh, they all have hair.
特利·萨瓦拉斯就没有
Not Telly Savalas.
他是个好演员
Oh, he was good.
尤尔·伯连纳也是个好秃子
Yul Brynner was a good bald guy, too.
要是他们俩一起演电影
Oh. If only the two of them had been in a movie together.
看他们的背影
You can't do that. From behind,
你都看不出来谁是谁
you can't tell who's talking.
跟我保证我以后绝对不会变成那样
Promise me I will never get like that.
你绝对会变成那样
Oh, you're gonna be exactly like that.
不过我会依然爱你
But I will love it.
知道谁不爱吗我们家娃
You know who won't love it? Our kids.
对以后我们给他们的孩子
Yeah. We're gonna get their kids
送各种奇葩礼物
all kinds of crazy gifts.
雷瑟枪鬣蜥
Tasers, an iguana,
碎木机
a wood chipper.
提醒我了
Hey, that reminds me,
你怎么处理的那只乌龟
what did you do with that turtle?
我把它送到一家动物园了
Oh, I dropped him off at the zoo with a Post-it on its back
宣传♥单♥后面写着感谢奥巴马
that said, "Thanks, Obama."
妈怎么了收拾行李呢
Hey, Ma. What's going on? You're packing up?
我们找到个公♥寓♥
We found an apartment.
你♥爸♥爸在屋里
Your dad's inside
跟女房♥东签租约呢
right now signing the lease with the landlady.
太棒了那些好像是我们家毛巾
That's great! Uh, I think those are our towels.
你把我们赶走了我们就拿你家毛巾
You kick us out, I take towels.
值了
That's worth it.
你好伯恩斯
Hello, Burns.
啥
What?
看吧瞧他那表情我就说肯定有意思
See? Look at his face. I told you it'd be funny.
你要搬她家去
You're moving in with her?
她把她的双层公♥寓♥租给我们一半
She's renting us the other half of her duplex.
妈你怎么没告诉我
Ma, why didn't you tell me
她是你们的女房♥东
she was your new landlady?
你不是让我讲故事的时候别描述人吗
You never like me to describe anyone in my stories.