老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E17

Part 1 April 12, 2020, 10:01 a.m.

多谢你下厨妈
Thanks for cooking, Ma.
我没吃正宗家常菜的日子已经有
I haven't had a real home-cooked meal in...
一天了
one day.
天你真漂亮
God, you're pretty.
算你运气好你长得也漂亮
Oh, you're lucky you're pretty, too.
我想念这样的夜晚
Oh, I've missed nights like this.
我爱的人全在一个屋檐下
Everybody I love under the same roof.
我老婆没来所以人并不全
Well, my wife couldn't make it, so not everyone.
我知道自己说的什么
I knew what I was saying.
你们应该看看我姐妹对爷爷做了什么
You guys got to come see what the girls did to Grandpa.
太棒了
It's awesome.
我打赌没你妈妈煮的咖啡这么棒
I bet it's not as awesome as your mother's coffee.
是我煮的
I made that.
太苦我不...
It's bitter. I don't...
我们把他变成了公主
We turned him into a princess.
现在我的图片分享上全是他
He's all over my Instagram now.
你马上要成网红了[打破网]
You're about to break the Internet.
很好我讨厌网络
Good. I hate the Internet.
暴脾气公主全世界脾气最坏的公主
Princess Cranky, the grumpiest princess in all the land.
和孩子们在一起你太好说话了乔
You're such a pushover when it comes to these kids, Joe.
我无法拒绝这些可爱的小脸
Well, I can't say no to these sweet faces.
等你和她们一起生活以后
Ah, well, when you live with them,
很快就能下得去手了
that wears off pretty quick.
孩子们睡觉去
Okay, guys, up to bed.
晚安爷爷晚安奶奶
Good night, Grandpa. Good night, Grandpa.
-晚安 -晚安
- Good night. - Night.
-爱你们 -晚安
- Love you. - Night.
该死的肩膀又痛了
Ooh, this damn shoulder's barking at me again.
你有止痛药吗
You got a couple of pain pills?
你看了你的女士包吗
Did you check your purse?
冷静公主我去厨房♥给你拿
Relax, Princess. I'll get you some from the kitchen.
我有点担心你♥爸♥
I worry about your dad.
他最近吃的药太多了
He's been taking way too many pills lately.
如果是改善心情的药它们算是碰到对手了
Well, if they're mood enhancers, they've met their match.
他的医生怎么说的
What does his doctor say about all this?
他上次去看医生还是...
Oh, he hasn't been to the doctor since...
奥巴马第一次当选的早上
Well, it was the morning after Obama first won.
他的血压一下子就破表了
His blood pressure shot through the roof.
妈差不多有十年了
Ma, that's almost ten years ago.
你得让他去看医生
You got to get him to go.
我试过了但他太顽固了
I've tried, but he is so stuck in his ways.
所有的事都顽固
About everything.
给他买♥♥了个无绳电♥话♥
Bought him a cordless phone.
他还是站座机旁边打电♥话♥
He still stands right next to the base.
我快气死了
Makes me furious.
应该有人跟他谈谈
Well, somebody should talk to him.
有自愿者吗
Any volunteers?
好我去
Fine, I'll do it.
谢谢你亲爱的
Oh, thank you, honey.
别去别去
No, no, no. No.
我们上楼假装不知道
Let's go upstairs and pretend like we don't know
出了什么事快来
what's happening. Come on.
我每天都能跟你学到新知识
I learn something new from you every day.
爸你得去看医生
Dad, you got to go to the doctor.
如果你不检查
If you don't get a check-up,
你怎么知道自己病了
how will you know if something's wrong with you?
我不想知道
I'd rather not know.
笑笑笑挂
Smile, smile, smile, dead.
我的人生就要这样结束
That's how I want to punch my ticket.
好吧你什么时候笑过
Okay, when did you ever smile?
他总是对我笑
He smiles at me all the time.
瞧你为什么不能像你哥这样呢
Yeah, see? Why can't you be more like your brother?
他总是支持我对吗小唐
He's always on my side, right, Donny?
那当然老爸
Ah, you got it, Pops.
他不是支持你他只是一个好好先生
He's not on your side, he's just a big yes man.
你永远正确当然没人会反对你
Everybody's a yes man when you're always right.
好吧我来说清楚一下
All right, all right, so let me get this straight.
你们两个家伙决定不需要看医生
You two jokers have decided you don't need doctors.
我靠阿司匹林和止痛药膏就熬过了越战
I got through the Vietnam War on aspirin and Bengay.
不可能
That's not true.
你当时又不在
You weren't there.
你当时也不在
You weren't there!
亚当我们去厨房♥聊下
Adam, let me talk to you for a minute in the kitchen.
来
Come on.
什么事
What?
我就是把你带过来好让爸撤
I just brought you in here so Dad could leave.
什么
What?
爸
Dad!
多谢你把车借给我
Thanks for letting me borrow your car.
老爸有招
第一季第十七集
爸妈随时会来
All right, Mom and Dad'll be here any minute.
爸已经躲了我一周
Dad's been avoiding me all week
不想去看医生
about going to the doctor,
但我知道他无法抗拒早午餐
but I know he can't resist brunch.
为了一盘培根他愿意走过枪林弹雨
That man would walk into a hail of bullets for a plate of bacon.
我把排气扇开到最强劲了
Yeah. I turned the exhaust fan on high
香味全吹出去了
so the smell wafts outside.
他会像卡♥通♥熊一样飘到这里
He's gonna float in here like a cartoon bear.
如果你不再冲爸唠叨也许你们关系会好些
You guys might get along better if you stop nagging the old man.
我也想做像你这样的搞笑儿子
Hey, I'd much rather be the fun son, like you,
但必须有人站出来解决问题
but someone has to step up and deal with things.
就是这样的态度他才没邀请你
And that kind of attitude is why he doesn't invite you
和我们一起去林荫路散步
to go mall walking with us.
你们去林荫路散步吗
You guys go mall walking together?
我们有父子运动装非常可爱
Yeah. We got matching sweat suits. It's adorable.
如果邀请我我也愿意去
I'd mall walk if someone asked me.
三个男人穿一样的运动装
Three guys in matching sweat suits?
那是男孩乐队亚当
That's a boy band, Adam.
亲爱的我愿意陪你去林荫路散步
Honey, I'll go mall walking with you.
不想和你去
Not you.
早
Hey. Morning.
妈
Hey, Ma.
爸爸呢
Where's Dad?
他不想来他不想听医生的事
He won't come. He doesn't want to hear it about the doctor.
但洛厄尔非常好开车送我来的
But Lowell was nice enough to give me a ride.
他跟我说有任何需要
He told me if I ever needed anything,
就打电♥话♥给他
I should call him.
我没想到她会真打
I didn't think she'd really call.
她肯定会
Oh, she calls.
我爱他
Oh. I love him.
好像我有一个家僮
It's like having a house boy.
洛厄尔你不能惯着她
Lowell, you do not want to start driving her around.
她要去的地方可多了
All right? She's got a million places to go,
全都很烂
and they all suck.
我不能拒绝她她太好了
I can't tell her no; she's too nice.
我刚嫁给亚当时
Listen, when I first married Adam,
我被说服开车送她去各种地方
I got roped into driving her everywhere.
我唯一脱身的办法
And the only way I got out of it
是在去毛线店的途中
was by going into labor with Kate
阵痛发作要生凯特了
in the middle of a yarn shop.
在安迪之前是我送她
And before Andi, I used to drive her.
我在那时候学会了
That's when I learned a little trick called
"假装睡着"这招
"Pretending to fall asleep."
我看动物频道跟着负鼠学的
I got it from watching the possums on The Animal Channel.
谁不介意星期六送我去折扣店
Who wouldn't mind driving me to the outlets on Saturday?
真不敢相信爸不来
I can't believe Dad wouldn't come.
他太顽固了
He is so stubborn.
你俩都顽固
Oh, the both of you are stubborn.
别说我和爸一样
Hey, don't say I'm like Dad.
你知道我讨厌这点
You know I hate that.