老爸有招
Man with a Plan
第一季
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老爸有招
Man with a Plan S01E01
Part 2
April 12, 2020, 9:59 a.m.
我觉得你还是变了
I'm gonna say it has changed you.
抱歉 我现在有点心焦
Sorry, I'm a little revved up.
我不敢相信幼儿园
I just can't believe they're not introducing
完全不教外语
any foreign language in kindergarten.
我们的小孩不会说一门流利的外语
How can our children compete
怎么去参与全球化竞争
in a global economy without fluency in a second language?
你知道这个学校是免费的吧
You know this school is free, right?
免费的都没什么好东西
Free stuff is not that great.
水是免费的
Water is free,
可啤酒你就得付钱
but beer you got to pay for. Hm?
啤酒
Beer.
又能跟爷们交往了 太好了
It's so great to connect on a masculine level again.
别的普通妈妈呢
Where are the regular moms?
我好像认识你 是吧
I-I think I know you, right?
是你把酒瓶子带进学校戏剧演出的吧
Didn't you sneak a flask into the school play?
是我
Yeah. Yeah.
玛丽亚·法达纳多
Marie Faldanado.
我小孩跟泰迪一个班
Ah. My kid's in Teddy's class.
布雷迪的生日会有邀请泰迪去吗
Hey, uh, did Teddy get invited to Brady's birthday party?
没请我家维克托 以前也发生过
Because my Victor didn't and it's happened before.
我们去年请了维克托 他...
Yeah, we had Victor over last year, he's a...
啊那个维克托
Oh, yeah, Victor.
怎么了
What?
他把泰迪的几个风火轮玩具车
Well, he flushed a couple of
扔马桶冲掉了
Teddy's Hot Wheels down the toilet,
还称呼我老婆为辣妹
he called my wife a hottie.
是个小混♥蛋♥
He was kind of a jackass.
你居然用这个词骂我儿子
I can't believe you'd call my child that word!
那不是两个词吗
Hey-hey, isn't it two words?
是两个词的吧
It's two words, right?
为了弥补我们的资金不足 我们需要家长做志愿者
And to make up for a lack of funding, we depend on parent volunteers.
我一心只想着孩子们
I just think of the children.
为了孩子我愿意做任何付出
There's not a thing I wouldn't do for them
我知道你也一样
and I know you feel the same way.
并不是
No.
不过其他人都已经拒绝做家长代表了
But everyone else has refused to be room parent.
很好 我也跟他们一样
Great, put me on that list.
太遗憾了
That's a shame.
如果我不教你女儿识字那也是挺遗憾的
It would also be a shame if i don't teach your daughter to read.
你说什么
What are you saying?
我说太遗憾了
I said that's a shame.
不是 后面还有
No, you said something after that.
没有了
I don't think so.
-还有 -没有了
- Yes, you did... - No, I didn't.
-还有 -没有了
- Yes, you did. - No, I didn't.
-还有 -没有了
- Yes, you did... - No, I didn't.
-还有 -没有
- Yes, you did. - Nope.
好吧 我♥干♥
Okay, I'll do it.
太好了
Wonderful!
第一个活动是明天
Your first event is tomorrow's
早上十一点 冰淇淋圣代♥开♥心日
Ice Cream Sundae Fun Day party at 11:00 a.M.
可以 不过
Okay, but I mean,
你要教艾米识字的吧
you're gonna teach Emme to read, right?
我们看看明天活动进行得怎么样
We'll see how the party goes.
老爸有招
第一季 第一集
医院
亚当 怎么了
Adam, what's up?
孩子们都还好吧
Are the kids okay?
孩子们都还好
Yeah, the kids are fine.
你怎么没告诉我你以前是家长代表
How come you didn't tell me you were room mom?
亲爱的我忘了
Oh, honey, I forgot.
你忘了
You forgot?
你猜现在谁是家长代表了 我
Well guess who's room mom now? Me!
你是在笑我吗
Are you laughing at me?
太好笑了
So hard.
我不想跟你说话了
All right, I'm done talking to you.
我理解 我爱你
I understand. I love you.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
这傻♥逼♥惨了
Oh, poor bastard.
你没挂掉 我能听见
You didn't hang up, I can still hear you.
孩子们 今天在学校怎么样
So guys, how was school today?
-我饿了 -又渴 -我也是
- I'm hungry. - And thirsty. - Me, too.
我没... 我这什么也没有
Uh, I didn't-- I don't have anything.
-什么 -我这辈子没这么渴过
- What? - I've literally never been thirstier.
妈妈以前每天都准备零食和冰水
Mommy had snacks and ice cold waters every day.
别激动 是我 是老爸的欢乐时光
Hey, easy, it's me, Daddy fun times.
来
Uh, here...
吃点李施德林洁口片
have a Listerine Strip.
什么玩...
What the...
耳机都放下
Headphones off.
所有人站成一列
Everybody line up.
什么
What?
站成一列 一 二 三
Line up, one, two, three.
我居然还得给你们解释什么叫一列
I can't believe I have to explain a line to you.
你们为什么把东西到处丢
Why did you just dump all your stuff everywhere?
一直都这样啊
We always do.
那谁收拾呢
Well, who cleans it up?
妈妈
Mommy.
她就没有不爽吗
And she's not upset about that?
不知道
I don't know.
从现在开始
Okay, well, from now on,
你们必须把书包挂起来
you're gonna hang your backpacks up,
下车之前必须把车子
and you're gonna clean up the truck
收拾干净
before you get out,
而且要把门关上
and close the door!
没有错
That's right.
有问题吗
Any questions?
我有个问题
Well, I got one.
我的人生是特么怎么了
What the hell happened to my life?
爸爸说了脏字
Ooh, Daddy said a bad word.
这你倒是听见了
Oh sure, that you heard.
什么烂人会把口香糖留在椅子上
What kind of animal puts gum on a chair and just leaves it?
孩子们呢
Where are the kids?
在楼上 收拾收拾 准备吃饭
Upstairs, washing up for dinner.
你今天怎么样
How was your day?
太棒了
It was incredible.
就是 刚开始还是很紧张
All right, I mean, first I was freaking out
因为我在家带了这么多年孩子
because I'd been home with the kids for so long,
-可我很快就融入了 -真好
- you know, but I fit right in. - Good.
我虽然说是差点动手把人家三明治
I mean, I did try to cut the crust
上面的面包边给切掉 不过除此以外
off somebody's sandwich at lunch, but other than that,
简直棒呆了
it was amazing
而且要不是你的话
and it wouldn't have been possible
这根本就不可能
if it weren't for you.
谢谢你
Thank you.
那太好了
Oh, that's great.
不用谢
You're welcome.
我不干了
I want out.
什么 出什么事了
What? What happened?
太可怕了 那几个不是
It was awful. Those are not the same kids
我原来晚上回家看到的孩子
I used to see when I came home at night.
原来的孩子又香又可爱
Those kids smelled good and were delightful.
是啊
Well yeah,
我花了整天功夫才把他们收拾成那样
it took me all day to get 'em that way.
你听到的是精选辑
You were just getting the greatest hits.
对 现在全是专辑里凑数的
Yeah. Now it's the deep cuts.
鼓手独奏 贝斯手唱歌♥
The-- the drum solos, the bass player sings a song.
他们甚至连自己的卫生都不做
They didn't even clean up after themselves.
就像和三个小邋遢卡车司机住在一起
It's like living with three tiny truckers.
听着 亲爱的
Look, honey,
我知道你今天很不顺
老爸有招
Man with a Plan
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