老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E20

Part 2 April 12, 2020, 10:02 a.m.

You did not invest in the company.
你是给我私人借钱来着
You loaned the money to me personally.
那有什么关系
What's the big deal?
大唐好像很高兴见到我
I mean, Don seemed happy to see me.
好像是的确是
Yes, I did and yes, I am.
你应该听老爸的他有些想法不错
You should listen to Dad; he's got some great ideas.
他都不需要从我这里借钱
You know, he didn't need to borrow money from me.
我比他开销大
Well, I have more expenses than he does.
他只生了一个孩子你生了三个
He only had one kid; you had three
因为你控制不住你自己
because you can't control your urges.
我现在就在控制我自己呢
I'm controlling my urges right now.
这什么
What's this?
是小商场项目买♥♥木材时开的票
That's a lumber invoice for the mini-mall project.
这么多木头你们数过吗
That's a lot of wood-- have you counted it?
什么没人会数木头的爸
What? Nobody counts the wood, Dad.
那一辈子也数不完
It'd take forever.
公♥司♥就直接改名为伯恩斯兄弟数木材公♥司♥了
This place'd just be called Burns Brothers Wood Counting.
我来数
I'll do it.
所以过来帮你们盯着是对的
This is why I got to keep an eye on this place.
真高兴你能过来老爸
And I'm happy to have you, Pop.
简直是个噩梦你得把他解决掉
This is a nightmare, you got to get rid of him.
他在的时候你怎么不说
Why didn't you say that while he was in here?
那不是我在家里的角色一般是你对抗我们
That's not my role in the family; it's you versus us,
所以现在你得要阻止我们
and right now you've got to stop us.
有个事不知道你们感不感兴趣
I don't know if either of you are concerned,
不过你们爸在外面冲一堆木头大喊大叫
but your dad is outside yelling at a pile of wood.
据我妈说这是对木头表示关心的方式
According to my mother, that's how the wood knows he cares.
能把这个发♥票♥给玛茜吗
Can you give this receipt to Marcy?
我正在筹办一个慈善活动她特别好心
I'm doing a charity drive and she was kind enough
把你的旧电脑捐给了图书馆
to donate your old laptop to the library.
我的旧电脑吗
Did you say my old laptop?
我的私人电脑
My personal, private laptop?
她是怎么找到的
How did she find it?
我都藏在装袜子的抽屉里
I hid it in my sock drawer.
这是我们小时候
That's where he used to hide his girlie magazines
你藏色情杂♥志♥的地方
when we were kids.
人是长高了但依然这么变♥态♥
You know, you're taller, but you're still a pervert.
老唐在跟大众共享之前
Don, they'll erase the laptop
他们会清空电脑
before they share it with the public.
不行他们不能这么做上面还有我的私藏呢
No, no, they can't do that. I got personal stuff on there.
我得要回来
I need it back.
不知道能不能拿回来
I'm not sure I can get it back.
这太尴尬了
This is gonna be so embarrassing.
今天早晨是让人挺不爽的
You know what? This day did not start out great,
不过你已经成功让我愉悦了起来
but you have really turned it around for me.
快看
Check it out.
一整包香肠面包
A full bag of hot dog buns.
跟以前一样亲爱的
We're back, baby.
我觉得这钱借得非常对
I am feeling very right about this loan.
是吗
Oh, yeah?
今天下午把我逼得在这工作
I had to work here this afternoon.
爸爸去了办公室
Dad came to the office
对所有事都指手画脚的
and was sticking his nose in everything.
我知道你想激怒我
Look, I know you that you want me to be outraged,
但我刚刚付了孩子们夏令营的定金
but I just paid the kids' summer camp deposits,
所以我觉得你的短期痛苦
so I'm thinking that your short-term pain
相对于我们的长♥期♥收益来说是值得的
is worth our long-term gain.
大乖乖
A-boop.
你的信♥用♥卡♥账单太扯了
Your credit card bill is ridiculous.
好极了他现在来查我们的信箱了
Oh, great, now he's here and he's going through our mail.
这绝对是联邦犯罪
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's a federal offense.
我是退伍军人联邦法律对我没用
I'm a veteran; federal laws don't apply to me.
每月50块钱健身
50 bucks a month for the gym?
你去吗
Do you use it?
好久没去了
Uh, well, not in a while.
上周想去的不过估计他们搬走了
I was gonna go last week, but I guess they moved
因为那里现在是傲虎牛排餐厅
because now it's an Outback Steakhouse.
也就是我才去过
So I just did that. u202dAh.
你每年都在浪费600块钱
You are wasting 600 bucks a year.
你听见了吗
Are you hearing this?
他说的有道理啊
Well, he's got a point.
现在健身房♥对你而言是不需要的奢侈品
I mean, the gym is a luxury you don't need right now.
你都已经勾引到我了还想去撩谁
I mean, you already hooked me. Who are you trying to impress?
再看看这个
And look at this.
星巴克星巴克星巴克
"Starbucks, Starbucks, Starbucks."
每天五块钱买♥♥咖啡
Five bucks a day for coffee
明明就能在家里喝不要钱的
when you can make it here for free.
实际上这些费用是我的您可以忽略
Actually those charges are mine, you can skip those.
爸如果把咖啡钱加一加总共多少
Yeah, Dad, if you add all that coffee money up, what's that?
一年差不多2000块
Almost $2,000 a year.
一年2000块钱买♥♥咖啡
$2,000 a year on coffee.
等等 2000块钱买♥♥咖啡
Wait, $2,000 a year on coffee?!
你们要节省不必要的开支
I need to put you two on a budget.
我会把你们的账单都拿走
I'm gonna take all your bills
明天你们来家里的时候
and we'll go through everything tomorrow
我们一起过一遍
when you come to the house.
欢乐时光结束了
Party time is over.
可我不想欢乐时光结束啊
But I don't want party time to be over.
你现在觉得这个短期痛苦怎么样
Yeah. How are you feeling about that short-term pain now, huh?
小乖乖
Boop.
你♥爸♥爸怎么敢动我的拿铁
How dare your dad go after my lattes.
它们可是我早上醒来
I mean, they are the first thing I think about
想到的第一件事
when I wake up in the morning
晚上睡前想到的最后一件事
and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep at night.
棒极了亲爱的
Thanks, honey.
-亚当我们得阻止他 -我知道
- Adam, he has to be stopped. u202d- I know.
他想取消我的傲虎会员
He's trying to cancel my Outback membership.
不过我们都已经说好不要为钱争吵了
You know, we always agreed we'd never fight about money.
即便如此这都是你的错
That said, this is all your fault.
你就不该问我爸借那个钱
You should have never taken that money from my dad.
你说得完全对
You are 100% right.
天呐我喜欢在厕所听到这种声音
Boy, I like hearing that in the bathroom,
回声真不错
it's got a nice echo.
他想看我们所有的开支
I mean, he wants to look at all of our money stuff.
-不可能 -对不可能
- That's not happening. - No, it's not.
我们得表明自己的立场
Okay, we have got to draw a line in the sand.
然后过去告诉他
We're gonna go over there and tell him
不要插手我们的事
to stay out of our business.
-对你应该这么做 -不是我说我们
- Yeah, you are. u202d- N-No, I said "We."
我说你
And I said "You."
不行我们一起去
No, no, we'll do it together, all right?
然后我们去一趟我的健身房♥
And then afterward, we're gonna stop by my gym
吃点芝士薯条喝点啤酒
and have some cheese fries and a beer.
大家好
u202dHey, everybody.
现在就去跟你♥爸♥爸谈吗
u202dShould we talk to your dad now?
不不不不
No, no, no, no.
先给他来点糖衣炮弹
Let's soften him up first.
孩子们去给爷爷献吻
Hey, kids, go give Grandpa kisses
让他开心一下
and put him in a good mood.
就跟妈妈想要什么时让我们这么对你一样吗
Like Mom tells us to do to you when she wants something?
-什么 -没什么快去吧孩子们
- What? - u202dNothing. Go, go. Go, go. Kids.
好了既然大家都到了
Okay, since we're all here now,
那我们来解决这个老唐生日的争议吧
let's settle this Don birthday controversy.
这不是什么争议
It's not a controversy.
连是什么都没办法意见统一
We can't even agree on what to call it.
既然你们两个都没办法决定谁来举办老唐的生日宴
Look, since you two can't decide who should have Don's party,
或许你们应该考虑一个折中地点
maybe you should consider a neutral location,
比如儿童餐厅
like Chuck E. Cheese.
很有趣食物好吃音乐绝佳
Well, that sounds fun. Good food, great music.
我觉得应该让我来办
Uh, I just think I should host it.
毕竟老唐出生的那天我也在