老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E17

Part 2 April 12, 2020, 10:01 a.m.

我没打算说
I wasn't going to.
我本打算跟安迪来个你都懂的眼神
I was just going to look at Andi knowingly.
没人愿意干涉吗
Okay, so nobody's gonna do anything?
好
Fine.
我过去和爸谈
I'll go over there and talk to Dad--
我一点也不像他
who I'm nothing like...
我去做坏人像以前一样
...and be the bad guy like I always am.
培根不是我唯一的武器
Bacon's not my only weapon.
我还有办法对他施压[调高温]
I got one more way to turn up the heat.
祝你好运他已经把暖气开到27度了
Good luck. He already keeps the heat on 82.
你应该看看我汗湿睡衣的样子
You should see how I sweat through my nightgown.
妈别说了
Ma, no.
爸我知道你在家我听到你对新闻咆哮了
Dad, I know you're home. I heard you yelling at the news.
你别砸我家房♥子行吗
Hey. Would you stop banging on my house?
我想让我爸出来
I'm trying to get my dad to come out here.
慢着你是房♥东帮我开门好吗
Wait, you're the landlord. Can you unlock his door for me?
不行比起你我更喜欢他
Nah, I like him more than you.
你喜欢他
You like him?
他叫你金吉达香蕉女士
He calls you Mrs. Chiquita Banana.
我叫他肯德基上校
Yeah, and I call him Colonel Sanders.
我们俩的昵称这叫风趣
We have a thing, we're fun.
叫什么夏罗[和她很相像的演员]
What's with all the yapping, Charo?
爸上车
Dad, just get in the car.
我不听你的话
I don't have to do what you say.
没关系我可以在这外面站一天
Fine, I can stand out here all day.
你不要在我的门廊上
Eh, not on my front porch, you can't.
行了你这个老鸡腿
All right, you old drumstick,
快把你这肯德基油炸的身躯塞进车里
get your Kentucky Fried butt in the car.
好吧淡定我去
Okay. Okay, settle down. I'm going.
你想学学怎么做一个男人吗
You want to learn how to be a man?
看她
Watch her.
他这是一石二鸟厉害
He got us both in one shot. He's good.
爷爷请您去看医生吧
Grandpa, please go to the doctor.
是啊爷爷
Yeah, Grandpa.
如果你去世了谁还会让我
If you're gone, who's gonna ask me
每天早上给他拉扯手指[以使放屁]呢
to pull their finger every morning?
奶奶吗
Grandma?
不那是你爷爷的事
No, that's a grandpa's job.
他要动摇了
He's teetering.
是的现在派最小的去取胜利果实
Yep. And now the little one for the win.
请您去看医生吧爷爷
Please go to the doctor, Grandpa.
我太爱你了
I love you so much.
孩子我无法拒绝你
Oh, kids, I can't say no to you.
所以你们都离开房♥间我好拒绝你们爸爸
So why don't you leave the room so I can say no to your dad.
不会吧
Come on!
这里的每一个人
Everybody in this room
每年都会去看一次医生
goes to the doctor once a year.
这是正常人都会做的事
Okay, it's what normal humans do.
为什么你就不行呢
What is your problem?
我有个朋友巴尼是个退伍军人
Look, I had this friend, Barney, from the VFW.
他妻子叫利比
His wife was named Libby.
我一直觉得很奇怪
I always found that strange.
利比全称是什么呢
Libby. What's that short for?
利莎白吗
Elibabeth?
让我说话好吗
Can I talk here?
总之有一段时间了
Anyway, it had been a while,
巴尼因为咳嗽去了医院
and Barney went in 'cause he had a cough.
当他离开医生的办公室时
When he came out of that doctor's office,
他的咳嗽没了
his cough was gone.
因为他去世了
Because he was dead.
可怜的利莎白
Poor Elibabeth.
现在她成了寡布
Now she's a wibow.
不要跟着他胡来好吗
Don't do what he does.
我们走吧小唐
Let's go, Donny.
我是支持你的老爹
I'm with you, Dad,
就像上回亚当没被邀请的
just like on our mall walks
我们在林荫路上的漫步
that Adam is not invited to.
你知道他们一块去散步了吗
Yeah, did you know they go mall walking together?
我不该跟亚当说这些事的
I never should have said anything to Adam.
现在他们大吵起来了
Now they're just in a big fight.
贝弗这样不行
Bev, this is going nowhere.
他们现在在相互扔雪
Oh, they're throwing handfuls of snow at each other.
很不错啊我就喜欢看我的孩子们玩耍
Oh, well, that's nice. I like to see my boys playing.
我们该这样我会给亚当的医生打电♥话♥
Here's what we'll do: I will call Adam's doctor
给乔预约
and make Joe an appointment,
然后你去闹他直到他同意去
and then you will annoy him until he goes.
闹人我行
I can do annoying.
我需要预约
I'd like to make an appointment
菲利普医生的麻烦了
with Dr. Phillips, please.
什么
What?
没事我待会再打过去
No, that's okay. I'll call back.
-再见 -怎么了
- Okay, bye-bye. - What happened?
菲利普医生已经退休五年了
Dr. Phillips retired five years ago.
但是亚当跟我说他每年都会去
But Adam said he sees him every year,
这么说来有人是骗子
which means someone's a liar.
为什么菲利普医生要撒谎说他退休了呢
Why would Dr. Phillips lie about his retirement?
我都忘了你也是小唐的亲妈
Oh, that's right, you're Don's mom, too.
你不能让我做我不愿意做的事
Listen, you can't make me do what I don't want to do.
所以要不你回厨房♥吧
So why don't you go back in the kitchen
和那些个叽叽喳喳待一起
with the rest of the jibbedas.
什么是叽叽喳喳
What's a jibbeda?
你知道的说个不停的你们
You know, jibbeda, jibbeda, jibbeda.
亚当
Adam?
我在想
Look, I was thinking,
如果你告诉你♥爸♥爸你上回的体♥检♥如何
maybe your dad would feel better if you told him
可能他会感觉好一些
how your last physical went.
那是什么时候的事来着
Huh? Wh-When was that again?
我不知道我大概六个月前
Uh, I don't know, I saw Dr. Phillips,
看了菲利普医生
like, six months ago.
检查了我的心脏血压
Checked my heart, my blood pressure,
让我做了单手杂耍
gave me the one-handed juggle.
有趣因为菲利普医生已经退休五年了
That's interesting because dr. Phillips retired five years ago.
是的
Yeah.
我刚给他办公室打了电♥话♥ 被抓包了吧
I just called his office. Busted.
不没有抓包
No, no, not busted.
我还去的他办公室但我看的是另一位医生
I still go to his office, but I see a different doctor.
是吗他叫什么
Oh, really? What's his name?
佩普医生
Dr. Pepper.
说真的你说个其他的名字我都信了
Literally any other name would've worked.
亚当为什么你不去体♥检♥呢
Adam, why haven't you been going to the doctor?
怼他贝弗
Get him, Bev.
你怎么只说我不说爸爸
How can you say that to me and not Dad?
因为我跟他住一起而他控制着恒温器
Because I live with him and he controls the thermostat.
天
God.
一个人只能买♥♥这么多睡衣了
A person can only buy so many nightgowns.
是这样的上回我去的时候
Okay, look, last time I went,
他们想让我做所有额外的检查
they wanted to run all these extra tests,
我坐立不安地等了结果一礼拜
and I had to sweat the results out for a week
他们才告诉我一切正常
before they came back normal.
我真是吓怕了
It scared the crap out of me.
所以你就撒谎然后不去了吗
So you lied and stopped going?
你也有秘密的楼上的糖果抽屉
Hey, you have secrets, too, upstairs candy drawer.
那不是我的我们搬进来的时候就有了
That is not mine, that was here when we moved in.
爸你也不喜欢去医院支持我一下
Dad, you're a doctor-hater, back me up on this.
亚当你忽视自己的健康真是太傻了
Adam, you are being a moron for ignoring your health.
什么
What?!
这居然是从你嘴里吐出来的真的假的
From you? Seriously?
这是不同的
Well, this is different.
你有小孩有个美丽的妻子
You have young kids, a beautiful wife.
你有理由活着
You have a reason to live.