老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E01

Part 1 April 12, 2020, 9:59 a.m.

小宝贝儿们家庭会议
Okay munchkins, family meeting.
我和爸爸有好消息要宣布
Daddy and I have some exciting news.
没错
That's right.
所以凯蒂手♥机♥收起来
So, Katie, put your phone away.
艾玛别扣鼻子
Emme, don't pick your nose.
泰迪哥们别自摸了
Teddy, buddy, stop touching yourself.
我没有
I wasn't.
你双手都伸裤子里头
You had both hands in your pants,
在那鼓鼓捣捣像在里头折纸鹤一样
moving around down there like you're making origami.
手不许伸裤子里去
No hands in pants, all right?
把这句话当作家训吧
Let's make it a family motto.
随着暑假的结束
So, along with summer being over
明天就要开学了
and school starting back up tomorrow,
家里还有一个变化要发生
there's another change happening in the family.
我刚刚接到正式通知
I just got the official word and...
我要回去工作了
I'm going back to work.
什么工作
What's your job?
就是我在生你们之前的工作
It's the same job I had before you guys were born.
我在医院工作
I worked at a hospital,
检查大家的血液
checking people's blood
看看是什么让他们生病了
to find out what's making them sick.
你是医生吗
So you're a doctor?
不是
No.
她哪里是医生
She's not a doctor.
但这个工作是十分重要的
But it's very important work.
总之爸爸会送你们去上学
Anyway, Daddy's gonna be taking you to school,
接你们放学
picking you up,
在我下班前照看你们之类的
watching you until I get home, stuff like that.
对因为我是承包商我自己就是老板
Yeah, since I'm a contractor, I'm my own boss,
我可以按你们的时间表走
so, I can work my schedule around you guys.
你们只需要知道
Look, all you guys need to know is,
现在老爸当家了
Daddy's in charge now.
没错
That's right.
-抱抱 -我爱你老爸
- Aw, bring it in. - I love you, Daddy.
宝贝们
Oh, you guys.
我们一定会过得非常开心的
We're gonna have so much fun.
-我们能养条小狗吗 -当然了
- Can we get a puppy? -Sure.
-不行 -不行
- No! - No...
听谁的
Well, which is it?
问妈妈现在别问
Ask your mother. Not now.
一会儿再问等我不在的
Do it later, when I'm not around.
爱你哟老爸
Love you, Daddy.
看着没凯蒂已经觉得我做得不错了
See? Katie thinks I'm doing great already.
13岁的姑娘信不得
You can't trust a 13-year-old girl.
她现在荷尔蒙爆棚呢
She's all whacked out on hormones.
荷尔蒙
Hormones?
我妈原来也有
Mm. My mom had those.
她得贴上个膏药
She had to wear a patch
才不会来手撕我们
just to keep from ripping our faces off.
不敢相信我要工作了好兴奋
I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm so excited.
还愧疚
And guilty.
开心
And happy.
又担心
And worried.
他们也有膏药治这病
You know, they make a patch for that, too.
你放心吧
Will you relax?
我在这呢
Look, I got this.
孩子们和我一起玩得可开心了
Me and the kids have a blast together.
我是老爸的欢乐时光啊
I'm Daddy fun times.
倒也是
Yeah, that's true.
而且我肯定会赶回家吃晚饭的
And I'll always be home in time for dinner.
毕竟...
Yeah. I mean, it--
我又不是医生
it's not like I'm a doctor.
别这样甜心
Come on, honey,
这不是早就计划好了的
this was always the plan
等艾米正式上学就开始
when Emme started school full-time.
记得吗
Remember?
而且我们还要多攒钱供他们上大学
Plus, we're gonna need the extra money for college.
根据他们冲厕所的能力来看
Based on their ability to flush a toilet,
我觉得奖学金无望了
I'm not seeing scholarships.
你说得对没关系的因为你是好老爸
You're right, it's fine because you are a great dad.
你能挺身而出
Oh... And it means so much to me,
对我来说意义重大
you stepping up like this.
乐意效劳
Oh, well, I'm happy to do it. Mmm.
我这不是在邀赏
And I'm not looking for any kind of reward.
除非...
Unless...
你心里有打算如果是这样的话
you were thinking about something, in which case,
傻子才会拒绝
who am I to say no?
别担心会赏你的
Don't worry. You're gonna get your reward.
我俩说的是一件事吧
We're talking about the same thing, right?
今晚你就知道了
You'll find out tonight.
好的再照一张
Okay, just one more picture.
把艾米横抱起来假装是你们刚捕的鱼
Hold Emme in your arms sideways like a big fish you just caught.
老妈我不要
Mom, we're not doing that.
行了别折腾上班去吧
Okay, cut the cord and go to work.
好我得走了
Yeah, I got to run.
-我爱你 -我也爱你
- I love you. - Love you, too.
-我爱你 -我也是
- Love you. - You, too.
我好为你骄傲小豆丁
I am just so proud of you, sweet pea.
第一天上学一切顺利哦
You have a great first day at school. Okay?
好了
Okay.
老爸
Daddy?
怎么啦小豆子
Yeah, Butterbean?
我有点担心上幼儿园
I'm worried about kindergarten.
宝贝
Aw, honey.
你确实该担心
You should be worried.
小孩可坏了
Kids are mean.
不过记住了一旦觉得不爽
But just know if you ever feel uncomfortable,
直接上拳头
you start swinging.
知道吗
Okay?
瞄准鼻子打
A punch in the nose
是非常有效的解决办法
can be a real problem solver.
知道吗好啦
Right? All right.
再见老爸
Okay, bye, Daddy.
再见宝贝
Bye-bye, honey.
你们好各位家长们
Hello, kindergarten parents!
我是罗德里格兹老师孩子们的班主任
I'm Mrs. Rodriguez, your child's lead teacher.
欢迎各位加入幼儿园家长联谊会
I'd like to welcome you all to the Kindergarten Parent Mingle.
什么
What?
哪位看到伯恩斯夫人了
Now, has anyone seen Mrs. Burns?
伯恩斯夫人来了吗
Is Mrs. Burns here?
你叫的是我妻子
Uh, you must be talking about my wife.
我是亚当伯恩斯先生
I'm Adam-- uh, Mr. Burns.
太棒了伯恩斯先生
Oh, great. Mr. Burns,
您太太自告奋勇要当家长代表
your wife graciously volunteered to be our room parent,
-只有几件事... -等一下
- so there's just a few things... - Uh, listen,
她做不了了
she's not gonna be able to do that.
她决定回去工作了
See, she's decided to go back to work.
这样啊行那你替她
Okay, so I'll just pencil you in.
我其实是愿意的
I-I'd love to but, uh,
可我也有工作
I have a job, too, see,
请不要再写我的名字了
so please stop writing my name down.
多好的团队
What a wonderful group,
我真想赶紧认识你们所有人
I can't wait to meet each and every one of you!
伯恩斯先生待会我要单独跟你谈谈
Mr. Burns, I'd like to see you after the mingle.
你似乎也是迫不得已来的
Hey, looks like you got stuck in here too, huh?
我叫亚当
I'm Adam.
洛厄尔
Lowell.
我是全职父亲
I'm a stay-at-home dad.
已经四年了我一点也没变
Four years now, it hasn't changed me at all.
你这里有一点
Oh, you got a little something...