老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E15

Part 2 April 12, 2020, 10:01 a.m.

像保姆一样吗
Like a nanny?
不像父亲一样
No, like a father.
如果父亲是保姆的话
If the father's a nanny.
你真是又帅又幽默
You got the looks and the funny.
凭什么不能
Well, why shouldn't
男人看孩子女人上班
the man watch the kids and the woman work?
我是女人同时也兼顾很多
I mean, I'm a woman, and I'm many things.
妻子母亲温柔的爱人
A wife, a mother, a tender lover.
别说别说
No. No. No, no. No.
我觉得你们这样做是与时俱进
I think what you two are doing is very modern.
安迪我为你骄傲
Andi, I'm proud of you.
谢谢你贝弗
Oh. Thanks, Bev.
你就像我的女儿一样
You're like a daughter to me.
我唯一的女儿
My one daughter.
好了贝弗你有两个女儿
Come on, Bev. You've got two daughters.
多谢了乔
Thank you, Joe.
我是说现在照看的孩子亚当也算一个
I meant Adam now that he's watching the kids.
看我告诉他事情的下场
You see what happens when I tell him stuff, huh?!
亲爱的放轻松
Okay, honey, relax, okay?
过几天他们就会去看世界上
I mean, in a few days, they'll be off to see the world's
比普通巧克力块稍微大点的巧克力
slightly-larger-than-average chocolate bar.
我们聊了一下我们考虑也许应该
Uh, we were talking. We're thinking we might
终止公路旅行
stop our road trip.
留下来帮你们看孩子
To stay and help with the kids.
对我们希望你找回尊严
Yeah. We just want you to have your dignity back.
但你们把房♥子卖♥♥了
But you guys sold your house.
你们没地方住
You don't have any place to live.
我们有房♥车
We've got the RV.
我们可以住你家车道
We can live right in your driveway!
我家车道
Our driveway!
安迪他们想住我们家车道
Andi, they want to live in our driveway.
我听到了
I heard them.
我们必须解决粪池泄漏的一些问题
Yeah, we just have to work out a few kinks
就万事大吉了
with the septic runoff, and we'll be good to go.
老爸有招
第一季第十五集
妈奶油卷真好吃
Oh, Ma, this cannoli's great.
你继续这样喂我我会长肥的
You keep feeding me like this, I'm gonna get fat.
不会你骨瘦如柴
Oh, not you. You're skin and bone.
你真是好妈妈
Oh. You're a good mother.
有什么不同
Now, what's different?
我得用不同的猪油
I had to use different lard.
我喜欢的牌子倒闭了
The company I liked went out of business.
谢你全家奥巴马
Thanks, Obama.
爸他现在都不是总统了
Dad, he's not even president anymore.
他知道自己干了什么好事
He knows what he did.
话说
So,
你们考虑我们的提议了吗
have you two thought about our offer?
是这样
Oh, you know what?
我们不想占用你们的生活
We don't want to take advantage of you.
你们剩下的旅行怎么办
I mean, what about the rest of your trip?
在乔退休后走遍全国是你们的梦想
Seeing the country after Joe retired was your dream.
在行走的大箱子里五个月已经够多了
Five months in that box on wheels is plenty.
浴室太小了
The shower is so small,
你都没法洗到你的正反面
you can't even wash both sides of you.
你只能选一面洗前面还是后面
You got to pick one-- the front or the back.
堪比《苏菲的抉择》
It's a real Sophie's Choice.
没错但你们在这边
Yeah, but you guys got better things
也有更有趣的事可做
to do than hang around here.
你们应该和朋友们聚聚
You should be out with your friends,
追忆下美好的往昔
talking about the good old days
还没发明汽车的时代
before the wheel was invented.
我们的朋友要么是死了
Hmm. Our friends are either dead,
要么就住在那些养老院里
or living in one of those old folks homes.
我们路过佛罗里达时去了几家
We visited a few on our swing through Florida.
是的那是去死的好地方
Yeah, it's where you go to die.
其中有一家他们在大厅出♥售♥棺材
One place we went-- they sold caskets right in the lobby.
亲爱的我觉得那些种花的
Honey, I think those were planters.
是种人的吧
People planters!
我喜欢那地方
I liked that place.
有一天晚上在餐厅
One night in the dining hall,
我观察了一个古巴男人吃烤土豆
I watched this Cuban man eat a baked potato.
太吸引人了
It was just fascinating.
妈你为什么要强调他是古巴人
Ma, why do you have to say the guy was Cuban?
他是古巴的这会让故事丰满
He was Cuban. It makes a good story.
假如我就说是一个男人吃土豆
I mean, if I just say a man's eating a potato,
就没意思了无聊透顶
I got nothing, snoozefest.
所以你觉得呢
So what do you say?
我们要不要住你家行车道
Are we living in your driveway or not?
很好留下来吧
Yes, great. Please stay.
太好了真棒
Oh, great! Hooray.
-肯定会非常好的 -没错
- Oh, it's gonna be wonderful! - Oh, yes.
我和亚当今晚会讨论这么做的好处
Adam and I are gonna be talking about how wonderful this is
直到非常非常晚
long, long into the night.
"很好留下来吧"
"Yes, great. Please stay""
那我该怎么说亲他们是我父母
What was I supposed to say, honey? They're my parents.
知道吗这是个很好的时机
And, you know, this could actually be really great timing.
我和老唐在商场工作了
Don and I have that mini mall job.
比从前忙很多他们可以帮到我
We're a lot busier. I could use the help.
亲爱的你知道我爱你的父母
Honey, you know I love your parents,
但他们没法给孩子们树立好榜样
but they're just not the moral compass I want for our kids.
那些奶油卷不是奥巴马的错
I mean, those cannolis were not Obama's fault.
这种事孩子们也听不进去
Well, that stuff goes right over the kids' heads.
我们能不能至少试运行一下
Okay, can we at least give it a trial run?
结果能有多坏
How bad could it be?
我觉得泰坦尼克号♥也是试运行
Well, I think the u202dTitanic was a trial run.
拜托他们知道怎么养孩子
Come on. They know how to raise kids.
他们养了我我多棒啊
They raised me, and I'm fantastic.
你很谦虚这点毋庸置疑
Well, you're humble. I'll give you that.
好吧我会和他们谈
Look, I will talk to them,
让他们按我的方式来
and make sure they do everything the way I do.
我们的方式你的方式来
Oh, the way we do. The way you do.
好吧我允许你试运行
All right, fine. I'll give you your trial run.
朱莉亚·罗伯茨也会这么做
It's what Julia Roberts would do.
好了
All right!
-再见奶奶 -太爱你了
- Bye, Grandma. - Oh, I love you so much.
好了拜
All right, bye.
-拜拜 -听我说
- Bye-bye. u202d- Okay, listen.
3点整在这里接孩子
Meet the kids here at 3:00 sharp,
给他们零食否则他们会发疯
and give 'em a snack, or they turn into maniacs.
但不能是糖否则他们会发疯
But not candy, or they turn into maniacs.
然后让他们立即做作业
And make 'em start on their homework right away,
否则他们会想发疯了一样乱跑
or they'll just run around like maniacs.
基本上他们就是疯子
Basically, they're maniacs.
我不得不多说一句
And I can't believe I have to say this,
别给他们武器还有爆竹
but no weapons and no explosives.
放轻松我们养了你你现在多棒啊
Relax. We raised you, and you turned out fantastic.
我也是这么说的
That's what I said!
别站这了伯恩斯快走吧
All right, keep it moving, Burns. Let's go.
这两位"年轻人"是谁
Oh. Who are these youngsters?
我父母贝弗和乔
Oh, uh, my parents, Bev and Joe.
爸爸妈妈这位是艾米的老师罗德里格兹
Mom, Dad, this is, uh, Emme's teacher, Mrs. Rodriguez.
罗德里格兹［西班牙口音］
Ooh, Rodriguez!
妈
Mom.
你来自墨西哥吗
Are you from Mexico?
实际上我来自费城
Actually, I'm from Philadelphia.
有趣你爱吃烤土豆吗
Oh, fascinating. Now, do you eat baked potatoes?
好了艾米你带爷爷奶奶
Okay, okay! Okay, Emme, why don't you show
去看看你的教室吧
Grandma and Grandpa your classroom, hmm?
好啊他马上会给我们道歉的
Aw, yeah. He's gonna apologize for us now.
他就是太紧绷了
He's gotten real uptight.