老爸有招

Man with a Plan S02E01

Part 1 April 12, 2020, 9:50 a.m.

居然要连续三天去剧院吗
You got us going to the opera three nights in a row?
你就说我做错了什么我改还不行吗
Just tell me what I did wrong, and I won't do it again.
不是这次是一场艺术节懂吗
No, no. It's an arts festival, all right?
第一天晚上是歌♥剧第二天是芭蕾
The first night is opera, the second night is ballet,
第三天是爵士诗歌♥
and then the third night is : jazz poetry.
你是说"爵士诗歌♥"吗
Did you say "Jazz poetry"?
是这样我看了欧普拉的一个视频
Listen, I-I watched this Oprah thing
说是让自己多接受艺术熏陶
about how exposing yourself to the fine arts
能够最大程度激发人的潜能
can maximize your life's potential.
你有没有注意到欧普拉没老公
You ever notice Oprah doesn't have a husband?
妈你把这衣服退了吧
Mom, you have to return this shirt.
我同学蒂芙尼说难看到辣眼睛
Tiffany from school said it was offensively boring.
安迪凯蒂不喜欢这件衣服我们不能走
Andi, Katie doesn't like her shirt. We can't go out.
我告诉你怎么做
Here's what you do;
你要直直盯着蒂芙尼的眼睛你就说
you look Tiffany straight in the eye, and you say,
"我穿什么并不重要
"It doesn't matter what I wear
因为我心里的蜡烛什么风都吹不灭"
because there's a candle in me that no wind can blow out."
好我愿意说
Sure, I'll say that
只要你告诉我我要转学去哪里
if you tell me what school you're transferring me to.
快看保姆来了
Oh, guys, that's the babysitter.
你好
Hi.
抱歉我觉得你来错地方了
I'm sorry, uh, I think you're in the wrong neighborhood.
你是想参加柯契拉火♥辣♥音乐节吗
Are you looking for Coachella?
亚当这位是索菲娅
Adam, this is Sophia.
她在医院当志愿者
She volunteers down at the hospital.
你好你就是艾米吧
Oh. Hi. You must be Emme.
我就是可爱到让人无法拒绝的那个
I'm the cute one you're not gonna be able to say no to.
我正想说这个呢
I was just thinking that.
我是泰迪你好啊小妞
I'm Ted. What's up, girl?
别这么说
Don't say that.
你不是说这句话很适合撩妹吗
You said it was a good line for picking up babes.
也别说这个
Don't say that, either.
请进吧
Uh, come on in.
好的
Awesome.
安迪你出来
And, Andi, come on out.
有点事...
J-Just one...
你这是请了个什么玩意
What have you brought into our home?
索菲娅怎么了
What's wrong with Sophia?
开什么玩笑她在医院负责做什么
Oh, come on. What does she do down at the hospital?
走来走去然后人们就有了求生意志吗
Just walk around and give people a reason to live?
再说现在孩子不是由凯蒂照顾吗
Plus, I thought Katie was our babysitter now.
是但这三天都是上学日
Well, yeah, but this is three school nights in a row.
我知道要是请保姆凯蒂肯定不开心
And I knew Kate would be mad if I got a sitter,
所以就请了个年轻有趣的希望她喜欢
so I got a young, cool one that she'd like.
安迪你不是在家里定了规矩
Andi, you made a rule in this house
绝对不能雇佣身材火♥辣♥的保姆
that we would never hire hot babysitters.
你说 "6分以上的都不行"
You said, "No one above a six""
她是60分
She's a 60.
对亚当那时候我不希望
Yes, Adam, there was a time that I didn't want
年轻性感的姑娘在我老公身边转悠
a young, hot girl hanging around my husband, but...
现在没关系了
it's fine now.
你这话是什么意思
What is that supposed to mean?
你懂的现在我们也老了
You know, we're getting older...
好了可别算上我
Okay, don't include me in that.
我可没老
I am not getting older.
我即将成为一只银狐
I am maturing into a silver fox.
你懂吗对一个年轻女人来说
Okay? And what is more attractive
还有什么比银狐更有魅力
to a young woman than a silver fox?
一只年轻健康的狐狸
A young, healthy fox?
安迪家中丈夫和性感保姆
Andi, the dad and the hot babysitter?
这简直是每部好电影的设定
That's the premise of, like, every good movie.
一家之主努力工作
Alpha male providing for his family.
年轻女孩看到之后很渴望
Young minx sees that, wants that,
决定杀掉他家妻子
decides to kill the wife
跟一家之主生新宝宝
and make new babies with Mr. Alpha.
在音像店有一整排都是这个
It's a whole aisle at the video store.
好吧我只能说
Okay, well, I'm gonna say,
如果你觉得现在还有音像店
if you think there's still video stores,
那我没什么好担心的
I got nothing to worry about.
他们拍这种保姆电影是因为确有其事
They make these babysitter movies because it's a real thing.
我告诉你吧
Let me tell you something,
总有保姆冲我抛媚眼从婴儿时期开始
I've been getting looks from babysitters since... I was babysat.
拉我来看这种东西结果自己睡着了
She drags me to this thing and now she's sleeping?
我要她付出代价
She is gonna pay for this.
没错
Oh, yeah.
情况如何
So, how'd it go?
孩子们都很乖
Oh, the kids were great.
我觉得泰迪很可爱
You know, I think it's so sweet that
他想坐在我的大腿上让我摇他睡觉
Teddy wanted to sit on my lap and get rocked to sleep.
说实话这点子不错
Not a bad move, actually.
歌♥剧特别棒
Well, the opera was amazing, okay?
我觉得自己重生了你懂吗
I... feel like a changed woman, you know?
好了
All right.
那就不耽误你的时间了
Well, we should probably, uh, let you go.
对了要是明天你临时刚好有事
And, uh, listen, if something comes up tomorrow night, last minute,
不能来当保姆我付你双倍工钱
and you can't make it, I'll pay you double.
你可真幽默
You're hilarious.
好了明天见
All right, see you tomorrow.
-拜拜 -拜
- Bye. u202d- Bye.
你听到了吗
Did you hear that?
她觉得我很幽默
She thinks I'm hilarious.
要开始了
It's starting.
好吧我之前肯定刺♥激♥到你了
Okay, clearly I hit a nerve,
不过你别往心里去宝贝
but, you know, don't take it personally, honey.
你看我也年纪大了
I mean, I'm getting older, too.
杂货店那个理货员
The stock boy at the grocery store
现在都不怎么瞄我胸口了
barely looks down my shirt anymore.
哪个理货员布莱恩吗
What stock boy? Brian?
为了他的篮球队我还买♥♥了一根棒棒糖
I bought a candy bar for his stupid basketball team
他居然这样对我
and he does me like this?
索菲娅去哪儿了
Hey, where's Sophia?
她走了
Oh, she just left.
这样啊我还想给她看看...
Ugh. I wanted to show her...
你这是怎么了
What happened to you?
就是... 文化熏陶
Uh... A little culture.
她现在光芒四射
She is radiant.
我就是想说索菲娅简直太棒了
Look, I just wanted to say how awesome Sophia is.
她人很酷而且聊起来很开心
She's super cool and really easy to talk to.
我就知道你看
Ah, I knew it. See?
妈妈们其实比你想得酷多了
I think moms are a little cooler than you give us credit for.
亲爱的你这里有点...
Uh, honey, you got a little, uh, a little...
-有点东西... -什么什么东西
a little something on your... u202dWhat? What?
-就是有点东西 -哪里
- ...A little something right there. - u202dWhere?
亚当
Adam!
我一点都不觉得抱歉先生
I'm not even sorry, señor.
老爸有招第二季第一集
后来安迪基本就是说我太老了
And then Andi basically says I'm too old
根本吸引不了性感的保姆
to be attractive to the hot babysitter.
怎么可能这可是家中丈夫和保姆情节
That's crazy. It's the babysitter and the dad.
安迪没去过音像店吗
Has Andi never been to the video store?
我也是这么说的
That's what I said.
不过我跟你说现在没有音像店了
By the way, there's no more video stores.
接受现实吧兄弟
Get with it, man.
谢谢你在我脸上
Well, thank you for drawing
画了一对半永久的胡须
a semi-permanent mustache on my face.
我一直想擦掉
Kept trying to rub it off,
结果看起来好像在打理胡子一样
but it just looked like I was stroking it.
谁让你张着嘴睡觉
Hey, you were sleeping with your mouth open.
我没给你涂黑一颗牙齿都算你走运
You're lucky I didn't black out a tooth.
不你这样对我不是因为我睡着了
No, you didn't do that because I fell asleep.
而是因为我说了你和保姆的事