剧集 | 老爸有招 | 导航列表
You got us going to the opera three nights in a row?
Just tell me what I did wrong, and I won't do it again.
不是 这次是一场艺术节 懂吗
No, no. It's an arts festival, all right?
The first night is opera, the second night is ballet,
and then the third night is : jazz poetry.
Did you say "Jazz poetry"?
Listen, I-I watched this Oprah thing
about how exposing yourself to the fine arts
can maximize your life's potential.
You ever notice Oprah doesn't have a husband?
Mom, you have to return this shirt.
Tiffany from school said it was offensively boring.
安迪 凯蒂不喜欢这件衣服 我们不能走
Andi, Katie doesn't like her shirt. We can't go out.
Here's what you do;
you look Tiffany straight in the eye, and you say,
"It doesn't matter what I wear
because there's a candle in me that no wind can blow out."
Sure, I'll say that
if you tell me what school you're transferring me to.
Oh, guys, that's the babysitter.
I'm sorry, uh, I think you're in the wrong neighborhood.
Are you looking for Coachella?
Adam, this is Sophia.
She volunteers down at the hospital.
Oh. Hi. You must be Emme.
I'm the cute one you're not gonna be able to say no to.
I was just thinking that.
我是泰迪 你好啊 小妞
I'm Ted. What's up, girl?
Don't say that.
You said it was a good line for picking up babes.
Don't say that, either.
Uh, come on in.
And, Andi, come on out.
What have you brought into our home?
What's wrong with Sophia?
Oh, come on. What does she do down at the hospital?
Just walk around and give people a reason to live?
Plus, I thought Katie was our babysitter now.
Well, yeah, but this is three school nights in a row.
And I knew Kate would be mad if I got a sitter,
so I got a young, cool one that she'd like.
Andi, you made a rule in this house
that we would never hire hot babysitters.
You said, "No one above a six""
She's a 60.
对 亚当 那时候我不希望
Yes, Adam, there was a time that I didn't want
a young, hot girl hanging around my husband, but...
it's fine now.
What is that supposed to mean?
You know, we're getting older...
Okay, don't include me in that.
I am not getting older.
I am maturing into a silver fox.
Okay? And what is more attractive
to a young woman than a silver fox?
A young, healthy fox?
Andi, the dad and the hot babysitter?
That's the premise of, like, every good movie.
Alpha male providing for his family.
Young minx sees that, wants that,
decides to kill the wife
and make new babies with Mr. Alpha.
It's a whole aisle at the video store.
Okay, well, I'm gonna say,
if you think there's still video stores,
I got nothing to worry about.
They make these babysitter movies because it's a real thing.
Let me tell you something,
I've been getting looks from babysitters since... I was babysat.
She drags me to this thing and now she's sleeping?
She is gonna pay for this.
So, how'd it go?
Oh, the kids were great.
You know, I think it's so sweet that
Teddy wanted to sit on my lap and get rocked to sleep.
Not a bad move, actually.
Well, the opera was amazing, okay?
I... feel like a changed woman, you know?
Well, we should probably, uh, let you go.
And, uh, listen, if something comes up tomorrow night, last minute,
and you can't make it, I'll pay you double.
All right, see you tomorrow.
- Bye. u202d- Bye.
Did you hear that?
She thinks I'm hilarious.
Okay, clearly I hit a nerve,
不过 你别往心里去 宝贝
but, you know, don't take it personally, honey.
I mean, I'm getting older, too.
The stock boy at the grocery store
barely looks down my shirt anymore.
What stock boy? Brian?
I bought a candy bar for his stupid basketball team
and he does me like this?
Hey, where's Sophia?
Oh, she just left.
Ugh. I wanted to show her...
What happened to you?
Uh... A little culture.
She is radiant.
Look, I just wanted to say how awesome Sophia is.
She's super cool and really easy to talk to.
Ah, I knew it. See?
I think moms are a little cooler than you give us credit for.
Uh, honey, you got a little, uh, a little...
-有点东西... -什么 什么东西
a little something on your... u202dWhat? What?
- ...A little something right there. - u202dWhere?
I'm not even sorry, señor.
And then Andi basically says I'm too old
to be attractive to the hot babysitter.
That's crazy. It's the babysitter and the dad.
Has Andi never been to the video store?
That's what I said.
By the way, there's no more video stores.
Get with it, man.
Well, thank you for drawing
a semi-permanent mustache on my face.
Kept trying to rub it off,
but it just looked like I was stroking it.
Hey, you were sleeping with your mouth open.
You're lucky I didn't black out a tooth.
No, you didn't do that because I fell asleep.
剧集 | 老爸有招 | 导航列表