老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E18

Part 2 April 12, 2020, 10:02 a.m.

是不错
Yeah, it's good,
可你不觉得有点愧疚吗
but don't you feel a little guilty?
愧疚感让我还有活着的感觉
Guilt is how I know I'm alive.
宝贝
Hey, babe.
快看
Check it out.
我给你买♥♥了最爱吃的冰淇淋
I got your favorite ice cream.
大唐来了啊
Oh, look, Don's here.
有没有打破吃掉或者弄坏我们家东西
Anything broken or eaten or otherwise screwed up?
今天没有他盯我很紧
Not today. He kept an eye on me.
不过我还是先走了
But I better get out of here
免得待会儿又闯什么祸
before I screw something else up.
老唐
Don!
那是我们的冰淇淋
That's our ice cream.
抱歉我老♥毛♥病又犯了
Oh, sorry, there I go again.
我真是一点都不羡慕玛茜
Man, I do not envy Marcy.
有时候只有看到老唐这样的人
You know, sometimes it takes a Don in your life
才能意识到自己的婚姻生活有多幸福
to realize how lucky you are with your own husband.
你这是怎么了
What's all this about?
我也不知道大概是...
I don't know, I just...
总是错怪你我觉得很愧疚
I feel bad for always accusing you of things you didn't do.
就想..
So...
跟你道个歉
I wanted to apologize.
你没必要跟我道歉
You don't have to apologize to me.
真的没必要
You really, really don't.
有必要的你想啊
No, I do. I mean, come on,
你根本不会偷饼干或者打坏花瓶
you're not a cookie thief or a vase breaker.
我嫁的男人不会这样
That's not the man I married.
对
Yeah.
因为这份愧疚我打算为你做点什么
You know what I'm gonna do for you because I'm sorry?
我帮你做个足疗吧
I am gonna give you a foot massage.
不用非得因为愧疚而足疗吧
Oh, I-I don't think it has to be an apology foot massage.
就不能是
Can't you just
单纯因为喜欢摸我的脚吗
do it for the love of rubbing my feet?
好老公就有好回报快来吧
Great husbands get great things. Come on.
我就好奇问一句
Uh, just out of curiosity,
那坏老公会怎样
what do bad husbands get?
你最好不要知道
Oh, you don't want to know.
洛厄尔
Oh, hey, Lowell.
你怎么来了
What are you doing here?
我来给你们送这个
I wanted to give you these
是这周末车展的全通证
all access passes to the car show this weekend.
洛厄尔太厉害了吧
Lowell, this is incredible!
我还没见过全通证呢
I've never had all access to anything.
玛茜那里我都不能全通呢
I don't even have all access to Marcy.
老唐车展我们去不了
Don, we can't go to the car show;
跟舞王秀是同一天
it's the same day as Lord of the Dance.
这简直是我这辈子说过最悲伤的事
That is the saddest thing I've ever said in my life.
没事我们就想办法用互相背锅的办法
Come on, we'll just find a way to use the blame thing
逃掉舞王秀
to get out of Lord of the Dance.
对老唐跟我讲了你们最近的小伎俩
Yeah, Don was telling me what you guys have been up to.
真是令我十分震惊
It sounds, well, appalling.
不你说得对
No, no, you're right.
昨晚安迪给我做了足疗
Last night, Andi gave me a foot massage
可那是我骗来的
under false pretenses.
我一直嗯嗯啊啊假装很享受的样子
I had to "Ooh" and "Ah" and pretend I was into it.
我居然假装了
I faked it.
毕竟我们没其他办法让老婆大人不生气
Look, there's no other way to avoid getting our wives mad.
我有个主意
Well, I have a thought:
你们可以试试不做惹她们生气的事
you could just not do the things that make them mad.
我们俩在这说正经的呢
We're trying to have a real conversation here
你能不能不要捣乱
about real stuff, if you don't mind.
也许我们不应该再滥用背锅伎俩
Look, maybe we should just lay off the blame thing.
别啊再用一次为了车展
Oh, come on. One more, for the car show.
最后干一票大的然后金盆洗手
One last big job, and then we'll go straight.
我说不好
I don't know.
我在报纸上看到车展上会有
I read in the paper they got the Trans Am
《上天入地大追击》里的特兰斯·艾姆车
from Smokey and the Bandit.
你还可以靠着伯特雷诺兹的纸板人跟车和照
You could take a picture next to cardboard Burt Reynolds.
这我可不想错过
Well, I don't want to miss that.
好吧那就最后干一票
Okay, all right, one last job.
你们也可以对自己的老婆好点
Or you could do something nice for your wives
腾出一下午的时间陪陪她们
and give up one afternoon for their sake.
洛厄尔请你离开吧
Lowell, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
简直无法相信
I can't believe
他们竟然会错过今天下午的舞王秀
that the boys have to miss Lord of the Dance this afternoon.
亚当为什么要安排周六开会
Why would Adam schedule a meeting on a Saturday?
你听谁说的
Where'd you hear that?
老唐
From Don.
亚当说他们去不了的原因
Well, Adam said the reason they couldn't go
是老唐弄坏了客户的地板
is 'cause Don messed up a client's floors
他们得过去修
and they had to fix them.
他是这么跟你说的吗
That's what he told you?
对啊他们为什么要互相扔锅
Yeah, but why would they blame each other?
我问你个问题
Let me just ask you something.
亚当有没有往马桶里扔过三明治
Has Adam ever tried to flush a sandwich down the toilet?
没有
No.
他们好大的胆子
What have they done?
都搞定了可以去车展啦
Okay. We're all set for the car show.
我推到了你身上
I blamed you and I told Marcy
我跟玛茜说你今天下午安排开会
you scheduled a meeting for this afternoon.
我们自♥由♥了兄弟
We're free, baby.
什么
What?
我推到了你身上
I blamed you
我跟安迪说你弄坏了客户的地板
and told Andi you wrecked a client's floors.
她们俩一聊我们就完了
They'll tell each other and we'll get busted.
你觉得她们会聊到吗
You think they'll talk?
看来她们聊过了
I think they talked.
等等我们静观其变
Wait, let's see how this plays out.
所以一直以来
So, you two have just been
你们两人互相甩锅逃了不少惩罚
blaming each other to get out of stuff?
你们这样多久了
Well, how long has this been going on?
-等等 -我来处理
-Well... -Oh, I got this.
你们觉得最早的一次是什么事
What's the earliest one you know about?
老唐我们回家算账
Don, I think we need to finish this at home,
在这里我不能用特殊词语
'cause I can't use all my special words;
毕竟楼上有孩子
there's children upstairs.
开心点毕竟之前挺爽的
Cheer up. We had a good run.
这家伙真过分
That guy, huh?
有时候只有看到老唐这样的人
Sometimes it takes a Don in your life
-才能意识到... -闭嘴
- to make you appreciate... - Nope.
要不我给你做个足疗
Would you like a foot rub?
不用了
I would not, no.
好吧是这样的
Okay. Here's what it is.
我们确实互相甩锅
Yes, we blamed each other,
但这其实怪你们
but it's actually kind of your fault.
如果你是在道歉的话
Okay, I-if this I-is your apology,
我只能给你这个评价
I'm gonna have to give it a...
我每次犯了错
Look, when I screw something up,
你对我的火气就会比对别人要大
you get madder at me than you would at someone else,
因为你的怒火
because I'm also catching the heat
还来自于以往我犯过的错
from the baggage of everything I've ever done before.
你真打算这么说吗
This is seriously what you're going with?
对我说得很有道理
Yeah. Yeah, it makes sense.
这样说吧你觉得我打碎了花瓶
Okay, when you thought I broke that vase,
你的第一反应是什么
what popped into your head?
你有多粗心
How careless you were.
然后你就想到...
Which made you think...?
你有时候做事不经大脑
How sometimes you don't stop and think
不顾及你的行为对我的影响
about how what you do affects me.
于是让你想起了...
Which reminded you of...?