老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E03

Part 4 April 12, 2020, 9:59 a.m.

你要记住
And just remember--
就算你这次杀出了宽恕海峡
even if you get through the Straits of Forgiveness,
总有一天更年期军舰会向你
some day, there's a torpedo heading your way
发射一枚鱼雷
from the S.S. Menopause.
我需要更大的船
I'm gonna need a bigger boat.
我想如果你再给亚当一次机会
I think if you just give Adam another chance,
他不会让你失望的
he won't disappoint you.
他对我个人的帮助就不少
He's already done a lot personally for me.
他就像是我的菲尔·杰克逊[篮球著名教练]
He's like... he's like my Phil Jackson.
用体育做梗不错嘛
Sports reference. What's up?
我想全班都会想他的
And I think the whole class will miss him.
从你在厕所门外求我开始
Well, my decision hasn't changed
到现在我的决定没有变
since you asked me through the bathroom door.
你在这里做什么
What are you doing here?
我打赌我知道他在这里做什么
I bet I know exactly what he's doing here.
木偶剧院
A puppet theater.
我错得太离谱了
Oh, I was way off.
我的天好漂亮
Oh, my God, it's beautiful.
从来没有家长代表这样做过
No other room parent has ever done anything like this.
这是你做的吗
Did you build this?
对教师感谢日快乐
Yup. Happy Teacher Appreciation Day.
希望你能考虑让艾米回到你的班上
I hope you'll consider letting Emme back into your class, and,
你做决定时
as you're making your decision,
请你按下遥控器上的按钮
I'll ask you to press the button on that little remote.
不仅是最少的工夫吧
Not just the bare minimum, right?
慢着
Oh, wait a minute.
这是拍我马屁的更高级的方式吗
Is this just a sophisticated way of kissing my butt?
-我不会这样说 -挺管用的
- Well, I wouldn't call it that. - u202d'Cause it's working.
艾米可以回到你班上吗
Oh. So, can Emme come back to your class?
当然可以
Well, of course she can. u202d
我还没有找到替代者
And I haven't been able to find a replacement
所以也许你可以
so, maybe you could, you know...
回来...
Just...
回来做家长代表
Come back as room parent.
成真了
It's happening.
好的
Okay, okay.
-但我有几个条件 -不
- But I have a few conditions. - u202dNo.
-听我说完 -不
- Well, just hear me out. - u202dNo.
-我们能否 -不
- If we could just... - u202dNo!
-好吧成交 -很好
- Okay. Deal. - u202dGood!
我们只是站在这里还是拥抱一下
Are we just gonna stand here, or are we gonna hug?
只是站在这里
We're just gonna stand here.
木偶剧院做得真不错亲爱的
Nice job on the puppet theater, babe.
我打赌你让她无话可说
I bet you knocked her socks off.
我只是替孩子们难过
Yeah. I just feel bad for the kids.
现在他们得看完木偶表演
They have to sit through a puppet show now.
你把我们的船撞上了冰山
I mean, you crashed our ship into an iceberg,
我慌了开始把乘客丢下船
and then I panicked and start throwing passengers overboard,
但你跳进小拖船里
but you just hopped into your little tugboat
你让我们回归了正轨
and you got us back on course.
你不必把我当孩子似的说话
You don't have to talk to me like I'm a child.
-我会这样 -没错
- I did do that, though. - Yeah, you did.
你放火我不感到意外
You know, it doesn't surprise me, the fires you start,
但你怎样灭掉总是让我惊讶
but it always surprises me how you put 'em out.
为家人尽力做到最好是我的工作
Hey, it's my job to do the best I can for our family.
这样如果孩子们变坏了
Huh? That way, if the kids turn out bad,
他们不能怪我们
they can't blame it on us.
我知道这不是你的目的
I know this isn't what you're going for,
但我现在好性奋
but... I am really turned on right now.
亲爱的这永远是我的目的
Baby, that's always what I'm going for.
时候到了祝你好胃口先生
The time has come. Bon appétit, señor.
就算你输了我也不会
You know, I wasn't gonna make you
让你真吃魔鬼辣椒
really eat the ghost pepper if you lost.
-你会的 -我知道
- Yes, you were. - u202dI know.
-这东西有多辣 -很辣
- How hot is this thing? - It's pretty hot.
在我拿走前他们让我签了文件
They made me sign some papers and watch a video
看了段视频
before they let me take it.
你想换成蜘蛛吗
Okay, would you be willing to exchange it for a spider?
我现在不介意吃蜘蛛
I'll munch a spider right now.
我已经看过了
I've already seen that.
好吧
Okay, fine.
你眼睛上有东西
Oh, you got a little something on your eye there.
-什么 -这里对了
- What? u202d- Yeah, right... yeah, right there, yeah.
我就知道你会这样做
Aah! Okay. I knew you were gonna do that!
但我忘记了
But then I forgot.
老天
Oh, God. Aah.