老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E03

Part 2 April 12, 2020, 9:59 a.m.

爸妈会在后座给装个假方向盘
a fake steering wheel in the backseat
让小孩假装自己在开车
so they can pretend they're driving?
可能还有个小喇叭
Might even have a little horn.
你就是这种船长
That's the kind of captain you are.
你才不知道自己在说什么呢
You don't know what you're talking about. u202dOh.
那要不这样打给安迪看我说得对不对
Okay, how about this? Call Andi. Let's see if I'm right.
输家就得
Loser has to...
吃一个魔鬼辣椒
eat a ghost pepper. Ooh.
没错全世界最辣的辣椒
That's right. The world's hottest pepper.
-你要是对自己说的话有信心就赌 -行
- Put your mouth where your mouth is. - Fine.
但到时候要吃辣椒的是你
But you're gonna be eating that pepper,
如果我没想错的话
and if I know you,
你会忘掉这件事然后用手揉眼睛
you'll forget and rub your eye.
如果我没想错的话
And if I know me,
我会嘲笑你
I'll be laughing at you.
亲爱的怎么了
Hey, honey. What's up?
我有个好主意
I got a great idea.
你知道罗德里格兹一直给我找茬吧
You know how Rodriguez has been on me?
我想把艾米
Well, I'm thinking I'm gonna transfer Emme
转到别的班上去你觉得如何
to the other class. How about that?
安迪
Andi?
你是在笑吗
Do I hear you smiling?
我没有在笑
No, I'm not smiling.
这个主意烂透了
That's a terrible idea!
你听我说每个年级只有一个好老师
Look, there's only one good teacher in every grade.
你都不知道
Okay? Y-You have no idea
我为了让艾米进罗德里格兹的班
how much I had to kiss Mrs. Rodriguez's butt
拍了她多少马屁
to get Emme in that class.
所以你就因为工作太多
So, for you to even think
就想把她转到别班
about transferring her because you have to work too hard,
让我很生气所以我在吼
makes me so mad, that I'm yelling.
我是在吼每个人都在看我
I'm yelling now, and everybody here's looking at me.
干吗有什么好看的马克维茨
What? This isn't a show, Markowitz.
很好把火发在马克维茨身上
Good. Yeah. Take it out on Markowitz.
拜亲爱的爱你
Bye, honey. Love you.
你好魔鬼辣椒店吗
Hello, ghost pepper store?
我要买♥♥东西
I'd like to place an order.
罗德里格兹老师
Look, Mrs. Rodriguez,
如果你能让艾米回你班上
I would really appreciate it
我就真的太感激了
if you would let Emme back in your class.
我为什么要这样做
Why would I do that?
要庆祝这个好学校的生日
Well... what better way to celebrate
忘掉我今天早上所说的话
the birthday of this fine school
就是最好的办法了
than with the gift of forgetting what I said this morning?
或者你可以为你今天早上
Or you could apologize
所说的每一句话道歉
for everything you said this morning.
可以
Okay.
-很明显你觉得我... -不行
- Apparently, you think that I... - No.
-如果我说了什么... -不行
- If I said something... - No.
-如果不是你... -不行
- If you weren't so... - No!
行行
Fine.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
现在总算有点进步了
Now we're making progress.
艾米能回我班上来
Emme can come back to my class.
太好了谢谢你
Oh! Great. Thank you.
船长赢了
Big win for the captain.
安迪会很高兴的
Oh, this is gonna mean a lot to Andi.
她总是说你
She's always saying how you're the best teacher
是全校最好的老师
in the whole school.
-真的 -真的
- Really? u202d- Yeah, yeah.
她说为了让艾米进这个班
She told me that to get Emme in this class,
她一直在拍你马屁
she spent years kissing your butt.
什么意思
What was that?
是在夸你
That... was a compliment.
-并不是 -真的是
- No, it wasn't. - Oh, sure. Sure it was.
你知道人都喜欢开玩笑
Yeah, you know how people are always
说些莫名其妙的事
joking around and saying crazy stuff?
比如"嘿鲍勃""吃屎吧吉姆"
Like, "Hey, Bob." "Kiss my butt, Jim."
然后都会大笑因为他们是哥们
And then they're laughing, 'cause they're buddies.
就好像我们一样
You know, j-just like us.
-我们现在是哥们了 -绝对的
- Oh, so we're buddies now? - Definitely.
-真的 -对
-Really? - u202dYeah.
我叫什么
What's my first name?
我也是这么想的我觉得艾米
That's what I thought. I think Emme would be better off
还是留在另一个班比较好
staying in the other class.
什么不要吧
What? Oh, come on!
你也不知道我叫什么啊
It's not like you know my first name.
亚当
Adam.
这谁都能猜中
Oh. Well, yeah. Anyone could guess that.
世界上第一个人就叫这名
It's like the first name ever.
这花是怎么回事
What's with the flowers?
又是妈妈生日的第二天吗
Is it the day after Mom's birthday again?
不是
No.
等等
Wait...
不是不是
No. No.
不要吓唬我
Don't scare me like that!
我好像听见妈妈车子的声音
Oh! I think I hear Mom's car.
你们去外面玩吧享受你们的童年
Okay, guys, go play outside, and enjoy your childhood,
以后就没这么美好了
'cause it only gets more complicated.
我美丽动人的老婆
Hey. There's my beautiful wife.
花干吗
Flowers? What for?
我送你花还需要理由吗
Do I need a reason to buy you flowers?
按照以往记录来看需要的
Historically, yes.
好吧我知道你肯定会生气
Okay, fine. I know this is gonna make you mad, but...
我把艾米转出了罗德里格兹老师的班
I transferred Emme out of Mrs. Rodriguez's class
可是你看看这些花多美
but look at the pretty flowers!
什么
What?
我不敢相信你这样做了
I can't believe you did that,
我们今早不是讨论过了吗
after we talked this morning!
我也不知道这样说对我有没有帮助不过
Well, not sure this is gonna help me, but...
我在那之前就已经转了
I did it before we talked.
我跟你说
All right, look.
罗德里格兹老师太难对付了
Mrs. Rodriguez is impossible!
太多事了
It's too much work!
你是出于自私才这么做的
Oh, so you did this for your own selfish reasons.
因为自私有了不少好东西
Well, a lot of great stuff was done for selfish reasons.
发明火的那个人
The guy who invented fire.
可能是因为他快冻死了
Probably freezing his ass off.
我的天
Oh, my God.
还有还有
Well, and, and...
对艾米也有好处
it's good for Emme, too.
她最好的朋友在别的班
Her best friend is in the other class.
你知道学校为什么把她们分开吗
Yeah, and you know why the school separated them?
因为她们话太多了
Because they talk too much.
不公平这是新的信息
No fair, that is new information.
你什么事都不知道时
Well, everything's new information
任何信息都是新的
when you don't know anything.
也许试着别批评我
You know, maybe instead of just criticizing me,
你可以尝试从我的角度想想
you could try seeing my side of it.
但你的角度大错特错
Yeah, but your side of it is so... wrong.
知道吗
You know what?
我去学校我找她谈
I'll go down there, I'll talk to her.
她喜欢我
She likes me.
关于这点
Yeah, about that.
很好还有坏消息
Oh, good, it gets worse.
一点点糟而已然后我们都会激动起来
Well, just a little, and then we're all caught up.
我回去道歉时
So, when I went back to apologize,
我知道你会希望我去
like I knew you would've wanted me to,
我恭维她她生气了
I complimented her, and she got all mad.
你是怎么恭维她的
How did you compliment her?