老爸有招

Man with a Plan S01E13

Part 1 April 12, 2020, 10:01 a.m.

各位妈妈和我
Okay, guys, Mommy and I are gonna be leaving
几分钟后就走了我们...
in a couple minutes, and we're, uh...
你们在看《宿醉》吗
Are you watching The Hangover?
不行这可是R级电影
Uh, no, that's rated R.
唐大伯进来打开的
Uncle Don came in and turned it on.
比《海绵宝宝》好看太多了
It's way better than SpongeBob.
我坐在遥控器上就打开了
I sat on the remote and it just came on.
根本不是这样的
That's not what happened at all.
他搜索后找到了然后说
He searched for it, found it, and then said,
安全带系好发车了孩子们
"Buckle up, kids."
你不是吧老哥
Come on, man.
我还跟你说了不要告诉你♥爸♥爸
I also told you not to tell your dad.
你怎么西装革履的
Hey, what's with the suit?
像是在商场里卖♥♥钢琴的
Looks like you're selling pianos at the mall.
今天是情人节
It's Valentine's Day.
我带安迪出去过节
I'm taking Andi out
因为我爱她
because I love her.
也是因为她让我这样做
And because she told me to.
挺隆重的哈
Really doing it up fancy, huh?
是的
Oh, yeah, yeah.
我三周前就在斯坦亚诺餐厅订好位子了
I called three weeks ago to get us in at Staiano's
晚餐跳舞
for dinner and dancing,
预订了特别情侣套餐
pre-ordered their special lovers package for two,
车也收拾过了以免在回家路上
and had the truck detailed for when she throws herself at me
她对我投怀送抱
on the way home.
我什么都没漏掉
I forgot nothing.
-今晚谁看孩子 -我漏了一件事
- Who's babysitting tonight? - I forgot something.
这可不妙
Oh, this is not good,
我没有临时保姆
I don't have a babysitter.
-你今晚和玛茜有特别活动吗 -没有
- Hey, are you and Marcy doing anything special tonight? - No.
我让玛茜每晚枕在这"熊皮地毯"上
Every night I let Marcy lay her head on this bear skin rug.
所以
So, you know,
咱家每天都在过情人节
it's always Valentine's Day at our house.
听起来你家每天都在过万圣节
Sounds like it's always Halloween at your house.
-你可以看孩子吗 -我给玛茜打电♥话♥
- So can you babysit? - Let me call Marcy.
喂
Hello?
宝贝关于今晚我有个问题
Hey, babe, I got a question about tonight.
我也有你带我去哪里过情人节
So do I, where are you taking me for Valentine's Day?
今晚可精彩了宝贝
We got a big night ahead of us, baby,
快把我的高档内♥裤♥拿出来
so lay out my good underwear.
我不能看孩子这下我惨了
I can't babysit, I screwed up big.
我得找地方带玛茜过情人节
I got to find some place to take Marcy.
情人节当晚你是不可能
Wha... you're never gonna get in
找到地方过情人节的
anywhere on Valentine's Day.
我曾经三次溜进雪儿的演唱会我无所不能
Hey, I snuck into three Cher concerts, I could do anything.
你们不出去了吗
So are you guys not going out?
不不我还有办法
No, no, no, I can still save this.
我给玛丽打电♥话♥
I'll call Marie.
她已经单身很久了
She's been single a long time.
太惨了惨极了玛丽
It's a sad, sad-- Marie!
有没可能
Hey, uh, any chance
-你今晚做下临时保姆 -不行
- you could babysit tonight? - No can do.
我和你最喜欢的幼儿园老师在一起
I'm here with your favorite kindergarten teacher,
我们化悲痛为食量
and we are drowning our sorrows in meat.
伯恩斯今晚最棒的就是
Hey, Burns, the best thing about tonight
我已经到达人生新低了
is I've hit rock bottom.
往后只会情况更好
I can only go up from here.
凯蒂有时打个电♥话♥会觉得自己好幸运
Katie, some phone calls make you feel very lucky.
洛厄尔我是亚当
Lowell, it's Adam.
你今晚能帮我看孩子吗
Hey, uh, can you watch my kids tonight?
我也想亚当但我和老婆有一整晚的
I wish I could, Adam, but I've got romantic plans
浪漫安排
with my wife all night.
换左脚脚
Time for lefty.
我有大♥麻♥烦了
Oh, I am in big trouble.
大♥麻♥烦
Big trouble.
我可以做临时保姆
I could babysit.
什么
What?
慢着
Wait.
慢着慢着
Wait, wait.
你13岁了到年龄了
Yeah, you're 13, you're old enough now.
我随时都乐意照看他们
Yeah, and happy to do it any time.
我还没想到"随时"
Wasn't even thinking about any time.
我只想到了今晚
I was just thinking about tonight.
但"随时"意味着
Yeah, but any time means, like,
如果我要赶回办公室家里有你
if I have to run back to the office, you'll be here.
或是我和妈妈想看电影家里有你
Or if Mom and I want to see a movie, you'll be here.
或是我和妈妈不想在家里家里有你
Or if we just don't want to be here, you'll be here!
这可以改变我们的人生
This could change our lives.
不过有个条件我做保姆
One thing though, if I babysit,
你要付我一小时3元钱
it's gonna cost you three dollars an hour.
一小时3元钱
Three dollars an hour?
凯蒂亲爱的
Katie, honey...
讨价还价不是这样的
that's not how you negotiate, okay?
你开高价我砍价
You go high, I go low.
一开始要说10或15元
Start at, like, ten or $15.
好的
Okay.
那就15元
$15, then.
不不 3元你已经说了3元
No, no, no, no, it's three, you already said three.
瞧你
Whoa, look at you.
瞧你
And look at you.
我等不及和你一起找乐子去
I can't wait to get you out on the town.
保姆什么时候来
When's the babysitter getting here?
情人节第一个惊喜
Ah, Valentine's surprise number one.
她已经在这里了
She's already here.
事实上她已经在这里13年了
In fact, she's been here for 13 years.
她有责任心被教育得很好
She's responsible, well-raised,
你认识她你爱她她就是凯蒂
you know her and you love her, it's Katie!
你忘了请保姆对吗
You forgot to book a babysitter, didn't you?
这是情人节第二个惊喜
That's Valentine's surprise number two.
亲爱的我觉得她还没准备好
Yeah, honey, i-I just don't think she's ready yet.
做保姆需要更成熟些
I mean, babysitters need to be a little more, you know, mature.
连唐大伯做保姆你都同意
You let Uncle Don babysit.
说得好凯蒂我最聪明的孩子
Good point, Katie, my smartest child. Huh?
唐才来五分钟
Don was here for five minutes
艾米就已经学了脏话
and Emme learned every bad word ever.
这些话现在都在这里
They're all up here now.
亚当我们去厨房♥谈谈
Okay, Adam, we need to talk in the kitchen.
就是说不行
That means no.
你看她多聪明
Do you see how smart she is?
我问过所有人了
Look, I tried everyone.
凯蒂是我们唯一的选择
Katie is our only option.
凯蒂做保姆我没意见
Look, I'm fine with Katie babysitting.
不照看我们的孩子就行
Just not our kids.
让她先在邻居的孩子
Yeah, I mean, let her work out all the kinks
杀青蛙的塔比瑟身上练练手
on that frog killer, Tabitha, down the street.
安迪餐厅只有几分钟的车程
Andi, the restaurant's only a few minutes away, okay?
孩子们看电影我们吃晚餐
The kids will watch a movie, we'll have some dinner,
在辛纳特拉的歌♥声中跳舞
dance to Sinatra,
在回家路上在车上毛手毛脚一下
maybe squeeze in a little truck action on the way home.
拜托
Come on.
我不知道
I don't know.
想到让她管事挺害怕的
It's just scary to think about leaving her in charge.
我是说我有文胸的年纪都比她大
I mean, I have bras older than her.
和那些文胸一样凯蒂也经历了很多
And like those bras, Katie has been through a lot.
她已经在帮我了
Look, she helps me already, okay?
放学回家后
When we get home from school,
她给泰迪和艾米准备零食
she gives Teddy and Emme their snacks,
让他们开始做作业
she gets them started on their homework.
她做得非常好
She's really good at it.
这不是你应该做的事吗
Isn't that what you're supposed to be doing?